I didn't even realize how much time has passed since my last post until last night. Heather yelled in from the family computer, "You haven't posted in over a month." She was right. There have been times I wanted to put stuff up. I was going to do a "Summer Oscar Special" post, but didn't. I also was going to do a "Running Emmy Diary" post, but didn't. I even thought about putting up my thoughts on the new television season, but didn't. That wasn't because I didn't think anyone would care. It was that I feel like I have been strapped to a bullet for the last month - metaphorically. Why is that? Well, let's take a look at what happened since my last post.
- Kids started school
- Defender Youth Weekend in Oviedo
- College started, with my new effort as college pastor at my church
- Met with Defender supporter who suggested a new big project to submit for grants, etc
- My son's sixth birthday and party
- UCF's first ever game at new on-campus stadium
- Went to Tennessee to meet with contacts for Defender
- Our third baby is due - TOMORROW!
So I guess you can see why things have been a weeeeee bit hectic. Tomorrow, our third child is going to be delivered. This will also be our last biological child, thanks to an add-on procedure during the c-section. Each pregnancy has taken a greater toll on Heather's body, and this one was the worst so far. So we and the doctor agreed this was the best step. I'm fine with that. We were not really expecting this child, so having our third little booger is a blessing anyway. That was what made me start to think about how blessed I am in general. So, I hope you don't mind me sharing why I'm so blessed.
1. I have a brilliant and wonderful wife who loves me - even though at times I am stupid and pig-headed and stubborn and temperamental. And I am always fat. And I have led her through hill and high water, chasing God's will for our lives. We have never had enough money, and my current job is pay or no-pay, depending on how donations and stuff goes. But she never complains, and always encourages me to keep the course. I don't know many women who would have put up with what she has put up with and stayed so supportive. But that's Heather for you. She has put her dreams and desires on the back burner, waiting for God to open doors.
2. My wife is going to be a doctor. And I feel stupid compared to her. You know how weird that is to me? But I am proud of her, so I get to brag on her.
3. I have a brilliant and awesome son who constantly amazes me with his understanding of science and such. He loves me and is fun - and he's a b-o-y boy. I was never like that, so I am nervous about that. But it is fun to see him act like a typical boy. Right now he is destroying something. Seriously. But that is what boys do. He's so fun and exciting and sweet and awesome.
4. I have a gorgeous and hillarious and goofy daughter who constantly keeps me laughing and shaking my head. She is so funny and creative. She sings and dances and plays like she is a mommy to her dolls and animals. And she cuddles us and snuggles us. And she has long pretty hair and acts like a princess.
5. My kids will walk up to me out of nowhere and say, "Daddy, I love you." Makes you melt.
6. I have a great relationship with my in-laws. They are going to be here for the baby's arrival and staying at our house. And I am thrilled. They love me so much and have been there for us so many times. Our kids love them. And they all have taken me in like one of their own - from Heather's parents to her grandparents to her brothers to her extended family. I know some people who dread seeing their in-laws. I never ever do.
7. I have a great relationship with my mom. I was thinking how great it is that I am not estranged from my family. Some people do not get to celebrate life's big events with their family because of how ugly things have gotten. But I have a mom who will anxiously sit there in Tampa until she can see pictures - which we will send to Walgreens via the internet from the hospital room.
8. I have the best friendships I have ever had in my life - at the age of 33. You hear how you will only have a couple of really good friends in your life. I have so many people right now who really care about me. I can't believe how God has flooded us with people that love us. I have never in my entire life had so many people that I would consider "great friends." And that goes for my wife too. She has people that love her and call her and it is awesome. Charles, JP & Emily, Aaron, Allen & Candy, Byron & Bern, Randy & Susan, Tiffany and Erik, Benji & Amy, Greg, Dana, Matt & Sarah, Eddie, Brad & Julie, Toney & Anna. It is amazing.
9. I am doing what I love doing for a job. Even though things don't always go the way I plan as far as finances go, I get to write and teach and design and compile lessons. I get to work with college students. I get to see families and students draw closer to God and each other. Sometimes I still shake my head about how I managed to score a job like this - how God pulled everything together just so. Incredible.
10. I have a God who loves me so much that He made 1-9 possible.
And then the bonus....
I get to watch a new life come tomorrow. I get to hold a little bitty boy and kiss him and teach him and love him. And the joy I have from being a dad to those two awesome kids I have gets to increase when #3 arrives. I can't wait to see him and have him fall asleep on me. It is so surreal. And all I can do is just shake my head at how blessed I am.
Sep 25, 2007
Aug 22, 2007
Uncovering Root Issues
So yesterday's post came out of a overwhelming sense of frustration. As I have had time to dwell on things, I know that what I said certainly was valid. There is a huge problem with Christians not loving each other. But there are other issues at play - that are intensified by this issue - and that intensify this issue. I started thinking about my own life, and if there was anyone that I was having trouble loving. Yes, there were people that fit in that category. A couple of them are people who have hurt me and those close to me so much that I will probably always struggle with loving them. I catch myself getting angry at them - for past wrongs - and I have to go to God and ask Him to help me. Sometimes, something will cause actual angry and rage to flare up at those people. It is in those times that I understand just how poorly I know how to love. I have all the justifications in my head for why I am allowed to feel that way. But then I think about the fact that Jesus loved Judas, and I have to slink off to my shame corner.
Today, though, a different person popped up into my head. It is a very dear friend - someone who has been a huge positive influence on my life and ministry. But I have been very unloving in my heart towards him. It has even gotten bad enough that seeing his face on Facebook will get my blood pressure rising. I took a moment and thought, "What could have possibly gotten things to that point?" And it all came down to the fact that he did something - actually, more correctly DIDN'T do something I wanted him to do. I don't know if he even knew what he was supposed to do. As a result, it has gotten to be like a poison in our relationship. And now, there is a huge wall built up there.
So, I thought about my options. I could write him and his friendship off forever and just keep building the wall. That is pretty dumb. I could act like everything is fine both to him and to myself. That hasn't been working yet. Or I could go to him and talk to him. yikes. I don't want to do that. I don't want to go to him and talk - he intimidates me and I would be terrified of him rejecting my apology. But, the Bible says we are supposed to do just that. In Matthew 5 we are told that if we remember that our brother has something against us, we should pause our worship to fix things. This is part of the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus flies in the face of human standards by setting His own standards. He had just talked about how the persecuted and poor and meek were the real winners. Now, He tells us, "Don't just go to the brother if YOU have something against HIM. Go to him even if HE has something against YOU." It was a foregone conclusion that we should go to them for our own pains, but He added to try to make peace with THEIR pains.
So I was already on shaky ground. James 5 talks about us confessing our sins to each other. The Lord's Prayer tells us that we have to forgive people. So I had to make things right - something I have begun trying to do. How it goes, I am not sure. But I have to obey and love my friend enough to try to make things right.
This is part of the problems that led to yesterday's post. We don't do things in Church. We don't go to each other and try to work out problems. We harbor them and let them fester and burn in our souls. Part of that is because communication is so bad - people don't know how to communicate at all - and part of it is because it is not modeled for people. When our church leaders do not go to people who they have wronged, or if they claim they have never wronged anyone, or if they won't go to people who have wronged them, then how are the members supposed to realize it is important? If the leadership is insulated and removed from the people, how can those members go to the leaders and express their own hurt? Love is missing - but so is communication, forgiveness, remorse, humility, and peacemaking.
It can paint a bleak picture, when we see how badly things are going. But we can make a change at least in our own lives. I am tired of seeing this in my own life. I want to fix things. I am tired of harboring stuff - I already battle being "an Eeyore" and being "cynical and sardonic." I don't need to contribute to that by keeping those poisons inside. I hope that you can say the same.
Today, though, a different person popped up into my head. It is a very dear friend - someone who has been a huge positive influence on my life and ministry. But I have been very unloving in my heart towards him. It has even gotten bad enough that seeing his face on Facebook will get my blood pressure rising. I took a moment and thought, "What could have possibly gotten things to that point?" And it all came down to the fact that he did something - actually, more correctly DIDN'T do something I wanted him to do. I don't know if he even knew what he was supposed to do. As a result, it has gotten to be like a poison in our relationship. And now, there is a huge wall built up there.
So, I thought about my options. I could write him and his friendship off forever and just keep building the wall. That is pretty dumb. I could act like everything is fine both to him and to myself. That hasn't been working yet. Or I could go to him and talk to him. yikes. I don't want to do that. I don't want to go to him and talk - he intimidates me and I would be terrified of him rejecting my apology. But, the Bible says we are supposed to do just that. In Matthew 5 we are told that if we remember that our brother has something against us, we should pause our worship to fix things. This is part of the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus flies in the face of human standards by setting His own standards. He had just talked about how the persecuted and poor and meek were the real winners. Now, He tells us, "Don't just go to the brother if YOU have something against HIM. Go to him even if HE has something against YOU." It was a foregone conclusion that we should go to them for our own pains, but He added to try to make peace with THEIR pains.
So I was already on shaky ground. James 5 talks about us confessing our sins to each other. The Lord's Prayer tells us that we have to forgive people. So I had to make things right - something I have begun trying to do. How it goes, I am not sure. But I have to obey and love my friend enough to try to make things right.
This is part of the problems that led to yesterday's post. We don't do things in Church. We don't go to each other and try to work out problems. We harbor them and let them fester and burn in our souls. Part of that is because communication is so bad - people don't know how to communicate at all - and part of it is because it is not modeled for people. When our church leaders do not go to people who they have wronged, or if they claim they have never wronged anyone, or if they won't go to people who have wronged them, then how are the members supposed to realize it is important? If the leadership is insulated and removed from the people, how can those members go to the leaders and express their own hurt? Love is missing - but so is communication, forgiveness, remorse, humility, and peacemaking.
It can paint a bleak picture, when we see how badly things are going. But we can make a change at least in our own lives. I am tired of seeing this in my own life. I want to fix things. I am tired of harboring stuff - I already battle being "an Eeyore" and being "cynical and sardonic." I don't need to contribute to that by keeping those poisons inside. I hope that you can say the same.
Aug 21, 2007
They Shall Know You Are Christians By Your...
The thing about Christians is that we are supposed to be very easy to identify. We are supposed to stand out and be different. But, according to John 13, 1 John 2, and 1 John 4, the most easily recognizable character trait is supposed to be our love for one another. "They will know you are my disciples by your love one for another." That is what Jesus told His followers in John 13. It must have made an impression on John, since the entire book of 1 John does just two things - fight gnosticism and talk about how we should love each other. That is a pretty powerful thought. When people are trying to figure out what you stand for, they should know your beliefs about God by how you love people.
Why would that be such a telling behavior? Think about it - all people should know how to love. They have parents and family and friends and kids. Love should be one of the most common traits in mankind in general. Yet, it is so absent that if we actually loved each other, it would be so startling that immediately people would know that we are Christians. The fact is that love has been counterfeited and damaged and poisoned from the very beginning. Satan attacked that right away, and it soon became selfish. This love that Jesus and John were referring to was not the love that we see on display around us. Those are actually lustful and manipulative and selfish loves. This love is the Agape love that Jesus displayed - unconditional love that would be willing to die for another. THAT is how much we as Christians should love.
Boy, did we blow that. How are Christians known now? How are they recognized? Let's take a look at the defining characteristics of Christians ACCORDING TO THE WORLD.
Judgmental: Christians judge everyone around them (Christian and not). If I realize you don't believe like me, then I judge you. You must not be open to God's leading, since you don't believe like I do. We then try to cram our beliefs down your throat. And this isn't just on big issues. It is on little stuff that the Bible doesn't even address. This leads into the next characteristic.
Hateful: Christians hate those people who do not believe like them. That may be the person who drinks (if you are Baptist), or who sleeps around, or the homosexual, or the liberal Democrat, or the environmentalist, or the abortionist. It isn't just left at judging those people, it becomes a genuine hatred for those people.
Stupid: Christians don't even try to learn about issues, they just spout the Bible out and expect that to suffice. This is seen in the stem cell argument, the evolution/Creation argument, politics and war in general, science across the board. Most Christians completely ignore 1 Peter 3:15 and can't justify their faith at all. When it gets questioned, they get angry and run.
No Fun: Christians can't do anything fun. They can't have sex or drink or do drugs or play cards or dance. They can't go to football games because church is on Sunday.
Hypocrites: They say one thing and do another. They spout verses out and go to church, but act exactly the same at home and at work. They are just as unethical, immoral, vulgar, and angry.
If you don't believe these are true, just watch television or get online. CNN is running a special this week on God's Warriors. It is about extremists in Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. They have found these Christians who are militant about their beliefs. They are easy to find, because they are loud and confrontational. I heard one at the Exodus conference - talking about Revolution. Television shows that have run in the last year have had Christians reflecting each of these characteristics. The characters have ranted and railed. They have sold out their faith. They have betrayed each other. They have done everything except love.
And the world is dead on in their assessment. I know this because I spend my life around Christians. I am entering my tenth year working in ministry and church related jobs. In that time, I have seen Christians do some of the most despicable acts to each other. It has been ridiculous. I have seen ministers lie, cheat, and misallocate funds to advance their own agenda. I have seen pastors absolutely DESTROY staff people to keep them in line or punish them for even the smallest infractions. This included telling them that they were incompetent, uneducated, worthless, and unwanted. One minister was called a cancer and another a parasite. Another was told he was lucky to have his job, because he wouldn't be able to get anything else that paid decent. Several young people who were considering entering ministry were given lousy maintenance jobs and told that if they really wanted to serve God, they would do that with joy. Then they were constantly berated and mistreated.
Okay, those were hearsay, right? Well allow me to share MY experiences:
- My job was threatened at my first church job six different times. As in "If this happens again you are fired." My crimes? One time I misspelled a word in the bulletin. Another time I had the wrong paper for a newsletter due to a mistake by our vendor. Another time I was lied to by some other area ministers and got left holding the bag for an event. My worst crime was I confronted the pastor about some questionable spending.
- I was continually told that I could not put the Rev. in front of my name because I was "just a secretary."
- I was ripped a new one during a meeting in front of the rest of the staff because I dared to express the fact that I felt the staff was not a level playing field, and then apologizing for my bad attitude.
- I was mocked for seeing my group's numbers drop when I had just taken over the ministry and was re-organizing it.
- I had a pastor tell me that their church "deserved someone with a seminary degree" instead of me since I didn't have one -which has been echoed several times other places without the snotty attitude.
- By Christians in general, I have been chastised for being too secular for watching too much television, going to too many movies, listening to too much non-Christian music, reading non-Christian books, not homeschooling my kids, going to a public university, letting my wife consider go to medical school, having friends who drink, reading Donald Miller books, going to a big church, and making too many jokes.
- On the flip side, I have also been chastised for being too closed-minded for NOT watching certain TV shows, NOT going to movies with excessive violence or sex, for NOT listening to most music, for NOT reading Harry Potter, for sending my kids to a Christian school instead of a public one, for taking seminary classes at all, for working for a church, for NOT drinking, for NOT liking Rob Bell, for going to a small church now, and for being too negative.
Basically, Christians don't love each other. It is not modelled in church staffs. Pastors usually are using their jobs at larger churches to get more attention so they can have a tv show and book deal and get to speak at conferences. They use business principles for growing their church. They will run over anyone they need to in order to succeed. They teach sermon series on success and prosperity instead of teaching the Gospel. The membership turns on anyone who doesn't agree with them. When a staff person or lay leader leaves, they are shredded by everyone. "There must be something wrong with Person X if they dare to leave our church." If a person comes forward with a sin issue (porn, lust, drinking, anger, abuse) they are ostracized or booted out. They never are restored or lovingly ministered to. Churches consider too much recovery ministry a "bad thing" because it brings too many of the "wrong kind of people" to their church (actual position from a church conference).
In the mean time, the world outside the church doors sees all of this and wonders why in tarnation they would EVER go inside. They are already reviled by the church, and it doesn't seem as if it is going to change if they join it. I am so tired of this. I have wanted to post something like this for a long time. But I have been afraid about if someone who is not churched reading my post and getting angry at God. Then I thought about it - they already know this. They already see it. They already have been judged and hated and insulted by Christians. They already feel unloved by the very people who should be known for their love. The Early Church was actually so loving that people around them accused them of being lewd - because no one could understand how perfect strangers could care so much about each other without sex playiing a part. Today, that is so far from true. Today, if Christians actually tried to market themselves as loving, the people around would think it was a joke. I know I would, and I work within the church world.
We aren't told to do service projects to prove how much we love the world - so we can trick them into coming and getting saved. We aren't told to call ourselves "The Loving Place" so we don't actually have to follow through. We are told that we should be known by how much we love EACH OTHER. If you are incapable of loving and caring for your own family, how can you possibly think you can love anyone else? I guess that some things that have happened in MY world lately have really made this a point to consider. I have witnessed some of the ugliest and hateful behavior committed by Christians in the past couple weeks that I have ever seen in my life. Supposedly Godly men have lied, backstabbed, and blackballed to protect themselves - from accusations that were 100% true. I also found out that one of the most hateful and vicious people I ever met in church work is actually 2nd in command at one of the largest Baptist churches in America now. I had heard he was run out of ministry for his viciousness. Turns out he was promoted. This has always been the biggest challenge for me being in the church world - you know too much. You see too much. And you get beat up, hated, and mistreated too much.
I don't want this post to be a rant or just blowing off steam. I hope that it convicts you. It convicted me. I get very angry and judgmental - especially when someone questions my writing or my work. Those things are very personal to me. I am pouring myself out and when you read my stuff or use my projects, you are kind of getting to know who I am. So, when I face criticism, I am overly sensitive. And that turns to anger. I guess I battle thinking that if people don't like what I wrote or generated, that it means there is no use in it. I question what gives me the right to put my opinions out there anyway. I'm just a 33 year old with no seminary degree and minimal "useful experience." So I want people to like my stuff. And if they don't I feel like it invalidates my writing it - and in some ways invalidates me. You can think that is stupid if you want. I don't care. That is how I feel - and it is stupid. I have as much right to say my thoughts as the other 55 million bloggers. And I need to get over it. I need to be more loving - to those who disagree with me, to those who hurt me, to those who hurt people I care about, to people different than me. I hope that maybe this will make you take stock too. If we are supposed to be recognized by our love, and we aren't loving, that what the heck are we even here for? How are we supposed to represent God and bring Him glory if we don't even look like Him. He IS love. Maybe we should think about that fact for a while and see if that changes anything. I hope it does.
Why would that be such a telling behavior? Think about it - all people should know how to love. They have parents and family and friends and kids. Love should be one of the most common traits in mankind in general. Yet, it is so absent that if we actually loved each other, it would be so startling that immediately people would know that we are Christians. The fact is that love has been counterfeited and damaged and poisoned from the very beginning. Satan attacked that right away, and it soon became selfish. This love that Jesus and John were referring to was not the love that we see on display around us. Those are actually lustful and manipulative and selfish loves. This love is the Agape love that Jesus displayed - unconditional love that would be willing to die for another. THAT is how much we as Christians should love.
Boy, did we blow that. How are Christians known now? How are they recognized? Let's take a look at the defining characteristics of Christians ACCORDING TO THE WORLD.
Judgmental: Christians judge everyone around them (Christian and not). If I realize you don't believe like me, then I judge you. You must not be open to God's leading, since you don't believe like I do. We then try to cram our beliefs down your throat. And this isn't just on big issues. It is on little stuff that the Bible doesn't even address. This leads into the next characteristic.
Hateful: Christians hate those people who do not believe like them. That may be the person who drinks (if you are Baptist), or who sleeps around, or the homosexual, or the liberal Democrat, or the environmentalist, or the abortionist. It isn't just left at judging those people, it becomes a genuine hatred for those people.
Stupid: Christians don't even try to learn about issues, they just spout the Bible out and expect that to suffice. This is seen in the stem cell argument, the evolution/Creation argument, politics and war in general, science across the board. Most Christians completely ignore 1 Peter 3:15 and can't justify their faith at all. When it gets questioned, they get angry and run.
No Fun: Christians can't do anything fun. They can't have sex or drink or do drugs or play cards or dance. They can't go to football games because church is on Sunday.
Hypocrites: They say one thing and do another. They spout verses out and go to church, but act exactly the same at home and at work. They are just as unethical, immoral, vulgar, and angry.
If you don't believe these are true, just watch television or get online. CNN is running a special this week on God's Warriors. It is about extremists in Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. They have found these Christians who are militant about their beliefs. They are easy to find, because they are loud and confrontational. I heard one at the Exodus conference - talking about Revolution. Television shows that have run in the last year have had Christians reflecting each of these characteristics. The characters have ranted and railed. They have sold out their faith. They have betrayed each other. They have done everything except love.
And the world is dead on in their assessment. I know this because I spend my life around Christians. I am entering my tenth year working in ministry and church related jobs. In that time, I have seen Christians do some of the most despicable acts to each other. It has been ridiculous. I have seen ministers lie, cheat, and misallocate funds to advance their own agenda. I have seen pastors absolutely DESTROY staff people to keep them in line or punish them for even the smallest infractions. This included telling them that they were incompetent, uneducated, worthless, and unwanted. One minister was called a cancer and another a parasite. Another was told he was lucky to have his job, because he wouldn't be able to get anything else that paid decent. Several young people who were considering entering ministry were given lousy maintenance jobs and told that if they really wanted to serve God, they would do that with joy. Then they were constantly berated and mistreated.
Okay, those were hearsay, right? Well allow me to share MY experiences:
- My job was threatened at my first church job six different times. As in "If this happens again you are fired." My crimes? One time I misspelled a word in the bulletin. Another time I had the wrong paper for a newsletter due to a mistake by our vendor. Another time I was lied to by some other area ministers and got left holding the bag for an event. My worst crime was I confronted the pastor about some questionable spending.
- I was continually told that I could not put the Rev. in front of my name because I was "just a secretary."
- I was ripped a new one during a meeting in front of the rest of the staff because I dared to express the fact that I felt the staff was not a level playing field, and then apologizing for my bad attitude.
- I was mocked for seeing my group's numbers drop when I had just taken over the ministry and was re-organizing it.
- I had a pastor tell me that their church "deserved someone with a seminary degree" instead of me since I didn't have one -which has been echoed several times other places without the snotty attitude.
- By Christians in general, I have been chastised for being too secular for watching too much television, going to too many movies, listening to too much non-Christian music, reading non-Christian books, not homeschooling my kids, going to a public university, letting my wife consider go to medical school, having friends who drink, reading Donald Miller books, going to a big church, and making too many jokes.
- On the flip side, I have also been chastised for being too closed-minded for NOT watching certain TV shows, NOT going to movies with excessive violence or sex, for NOT listening to most music, for NOT reading Harry Potter, for sending my kids to a Christian school instead of a public one, for taking seminary classes at all, for working for a church, for NOT drinking, for NOT liking Rob Bell, for going to a small church now, and for being too negative.
Basically, Christians don't love each other. It is not modelled in church staffs. Pastors usually are using their jobs at larger churches to get more attention so they can have a tv show and book deal and get to speak at conferences. They use business principles for growing their church. They will run over anyone they need to in order to succeed. They teach sermon series on success and prosperity instead of teaching the Gospel. The membership turns on anyone who doesn't agree with them. When a staff person or lay leader leaves, they are shredded by everyone. "There must be something wrong with Person X if they dare to leave our church." If a person comes forward with a sin issue (porn, lust, drinking, anger, abuse) they are ostracized or booted out. They never are restored or lovingly ministered to. Churches consider too much recovery ministry a "bad thing" because it brings too many of the "wrong kind of people" to their church (actual position from a church conference).
In the mean time, the world outside the church doors sees all of this and wonders why in tarnation they would EVER go inside. They are already reviled by the church, and it doesn't seem as if it is going to change if they join it. I am so tired of this. I have wanted to post something like this for a long time. But I have been afraid about if someone who is not churched reading my post and getting angry at God. Then I thought about it - they already know this. They already see it. They already have been judged and hated and insulted by Christians. They already feel unloved by the very people who should be known for their love. The Early Church was actually so loving that people around them accused them of being lewd - because no one could understand how perfect strangers could care so much about each other without sex playiing a part. Today, that is so far from true. Today, if Christians actually tried to market themselves as loving, the people around would think it was a joke. I know I would, and I work within the church world.
We aren't told to do service projects to prove how much we love the world - so we can trick them into coming and getting saved. We aren't told to call ourselves "The Loving Place" so we don't actually have to follow through. We are told that we should be known by how much we love EACH OTHER. If you are incapable of loving and caring for your own family, how can you possibly think you can love anyone else? I guess that some things that have happened in MY world lately have really made this a point to consider. I have witnessed some of the ugliest and hateful behavior committed by Christians in the past couple weeks that I have ever seen in my life. Supposedly Godly men have lied, backstabbed, and blackballed to protect themselves - from accusations that were 100% true. I also found out that one of the most hateful and vicious people I ever met in church work is actually 2nd in command at one of the largest Baptist churches in America now. I had heard he was run out of ministry for his viciousness. Turns out he was promoted. This has always been the biggest challenge for me being in the church world - you know too much. You see too much. And you get beat up, hated, and mistreated too much.
I don't want this post to be a rant or just blowing off steam. I hope that it convicts you. It convicted me. I get very angry and judgmental - especially when someone questions my writing or my work. Those things are very personal to me. I am pouring myself out and when you read my stuff or use my projects, you are kind of getting to know who I am. So, when I face criticism, I am overly sensitive. And that turns to anger. I guess I battle thinking that if people don't like what I wrote or generated, that it means there is no use in it. I question what gives me the right to put my opinions out there anyway. I'm just a 33 year old with no seminary degree and minimal "useful experience." So I want people to like my stuff. And if they don't I feel like it invalidates my writing it - and in some ways invalidates me. You can think that is stupid if you want. I don't care. That is how I feel - and it is stupid. I have as much right to say my thoughts as the other 55 million bloggers. And I need to get over it. I need to be more loving - to those who disagree with me, to those who hurt me, to those who hurt people I care about, to people different than me. I hope that maybe this will make you take stock too. If we are supposed to be recognized by our love, and we aren't loving, that what the heck are we even here for? How are we supposed to represent God and bring Him glory if we don't even look like Him. He IS love. Maybe we should think about that fact for a while and see if that changes anything. I hope it does.
Aug 12, 2007
100
Well, this is my 100th post. That is a major milestone for my blog - but not so much for other blogs. Some will have 100 posts in a month -- or even a week. But I have tried to make this blog different than a lot of them. I don't want to just give my piddly, know-nothing comments about every news event and happening. I want my stuff to be more interesting, unique, and entertaining than just a daily news recap. Sure, I have commented on news stories (Michael Vick, Mel Gibson are a couple examples). Mostly, though, I wait and see if I am still riled up about a week later. If so, I'll post. If not, I'll leave it to the other 55 million bloggers to cover. I also have done running diaries on the Oscars and American Idol. There have been some movie reviews, but those mostly have been stuck over on my Rotten Tomatoes site now.
I am a minister, so I can't ignore my faith, which has colored many posts. I love movies and television, so that also has come into play. I also am an idiot, which has been more than fairly represented in posts like this and this and this. But I hope that everyone who reads this blog enjoys it and finds something to take away. That could be a laugh or a point to ponder or a reason to think I'm a doofus.
I think I put too much thought into this blog. That is why I have long breaks that usually end with a comment like, "Sorry I haven't posted lately, but..." This post, for example, has been especially hard. Once I realized that it was #100, I wanted it to be special and not something like, "Go check Rotten Tomatoes for my Die Hard review." And there were like 10 news stories that happened that I wanted to address, but not for this one. I guess the problem comes in writing and not knowing who is reading and what they think.
So, I want to know what YOU want. All three of you. What are your favorite posts? What kind of stuff have you enjoyed reading? I have ideas for a more thematic approach: FerreTV posts about television, Moviepalooza posts about movies, King Sized Blogs for end of the year stuff, Modern Day Theses for religious stuff, and It's Personal for personal stuff. But I want to know what you like too. If you read this somewhat regularly, please hit the comment link and leave a note. Tell me what you like and don't like. And don't let it just be the spanish speaking guy who makes screen printing shirts that posts. I want to hear from Greg and Diane and Michele and Heather and Holly and Brad and Tiffany (both of them) and the rest. I don't promise I'll do what you say, but I will consider it.
I look back on December 2004, when I made my first post, and realize how much is changed. My son is going to Kindergarten. My daughter is 3 1/2. Our third child is coming in six weeks. I am basically self-employed (with all the good and bad that brings). I'm still working with college students. I'm still teaching and writing. I'm still self-conscious. But I know I've grown and learned. I'm at a different church, different house, different job, different place in my life. So my posts have changed. I have fewer "goofy posts" and more "serious posts." But I still love writing and entertaining - be that through inspiration, laughter, or sheer pity. I hope the next 100 posts will be even better than the last. And I hope that it won't take 30 months to get there. Hopefully I will hear from you soon.
I am a minister, so I can't ignore my faith, which has colored many posts. I love movies and television, so that also has come into play. I also am an idiot, which has been more than fairly represented in posts like this and this and this. But I hope that everyone who reads this blog enjoys it and finds something to take away. That could be a laugh or a point to ponder or a reason to think I'm a doofus.
I think I put too much thought into this blog. That is why I have long breaks that usually end with a comment like, "Sorry I haven't posted lately, but..." This post, for example, has been especially hard. Once I realized that it was #100, I wanted it to be special and not something like, "Go check Rotten Tomatoes for my Die Hard review." And there were like 10 news stories that happened that I wanted to address, but not for this one. I guess the problem comes in writing and not knowing who is reading and what they think.
So, I want to know what YOU want. All three of you. What are your favorite posts? What kind of stuff have you enjoyed reading? I have ideas for a more thematic approach: FerreTV posts about television, Moviepalooza posts about movies, King Sized Blogs for end of the year stuff, Modern Day Theses for religious stuff, and It's Personal for personal stuff. But I want to know what you like too. If you read this somewhat regularly, please hit the comment link and leave a note. Tell me what you like and don't like. And don't let it just be the spanish speaking guy who makes screen printing shirts that posts. I want to hear from Greg and Diane and Michele and Heather and Holly and Brad and Tiffany (both of them) and the rest. I don't promise I'll do what you say, but I will consider it.
I look back on December 2004, when I made my first post, and realize how much is changed. My son is going to Kindergarten. My daughter is 3 1/2. Our third child is coming in six weeks. I am basically self-employed (with all the good and bad that brings). I'm still working with college students. I'm still teaching and writing. I'm still self-conscious. But I know I've grown and learned. I'm at a different church, different house, different job, different place in my life. So my posts have changed. I have fewer "goofy posts" and more "serious posts." But I still love writing and entertaining - be that through inspiration, laughter, or sheer pity. I hope the next 100 posts will be even better than the last. And I hope that it won't take 30 months to get there. Hopefully I will hear from you soon.
Jul 20, 2007
Rhymes with Vick
The entire Michael Vick/dogfighting saga has really been unbelievable. For an athlete of his stature to even be close enough to the situation to be credibly indicted says something about his incredible lack of judgment. But before I get to Vick himself, there are some other things that I have been thinking about in relation to this story.
- The Modern News Approach is Dangerous - In my mind, Vick is guilty. I think there is too much pointing to that, the least of which is the fact he was even included in a FEDERAL indictment. However, the problem is that I am not alone. Everyone has an opinion already. This story has been covered 24 hours a day for two days now. There are 24 hour television news channels, talk radio shows, internet new, internet sports, sports television shows. It is a saturation of news. I was listening to Tom Brokaw on ESPN Radio's Mike and Mike yesterday morning. The hosts asked him about how he felt the story was being handled. He said exactly what I have felt for a long time. When there is this much coverage out there, it doesn't take long to cross the line to irresponsible journalism. I would go one further. On just about any news story, you pretty much exhaust the angles and facts in about four hours. Then you are stuck with two option: wait for updates or talk about the same stuff. That is what you find on the media outlets. You have people who keep talking and talking about the same exact details. And then everyone is desperately searching for leaks, hints, rumors, and updates. This has led to some of the irresponsible stuff we have seen over the recent past. People release news without confirmations. They use some questionable source as breaking news. Why have we had so many problems with government leaks lately? It all ties into this. The other major problem is that once you reach the point of saturation, the only way to stand out is to make off the wall statements. This is especially true in the sports news world. Every major city has AT LEAST one sports talk radio station. In Orlando we have two. Plus, ESPN has four TV channels, Fox Sports has one, CSS sports, Sunshine Sports (in Florida), and all the traditional news stations. There is a huge amount of babble going on. So many sports guys have resorted to making bizarre and controversial statements to break into that glut. That is how guys like Skip Bayless, Dan LeBatard, and Woody Paige jumped from newspaper guys to television guys. And that is how they stay there - they make ridiculous comments. I'm sure we aren't too far away from one or all of those guys defending dogfighting (if it hasn't already happened). I already have heard sportswriters defending Vick and his buddies by saying this is a racist issue. They also have tried to say that dogfighting is cultural among a group of African-Americans in the south. Really? That makes it okay? It didn't make racisim or slavery or polygamy okay. I think that we all should agree that if a cultural event involved murder and torture, it should generally be frowned upon in America. But some people have tried to defend this to get national airplay. The line between editorial and news is so blurred we don't even know what it is.
- Innocent Until Proven Guilty is Bunk - With the news going this way, that ancient concept of American justice is gone. All that matters is the initial news break. The follow-ups never get the same airplay as the first story - unless it is at the end of a whole overblown media cirucs (OJ, Michael Jackson, Paris Hilton). For example, if someone gets sued for something, that gets front page coverage. Ninety percent of the time, the suit has no merit or it gets dropped or the sued party wins or they settle. But this doesn't get the same recognition. So we hear about people suing McDonald's for getting fat. But we never hear that the courts laughed those people out of the courtroom. Or we hear someone getting charged with something, and then don't hear what happened. We assume that an indictment or getting charged with something means that person was found guilty. Now, a FEDERAL indictment is different than an average one. Those are usually extremely well researched. In most cases, it takes as much work to get a federal grand jury to indict as it would to get a full local trial won. Plus, you don't have the same risk of District Attorneys going out on personal resume building (like the Duke lacrosse case). However, in the court of public opinion, if a person is charged or sued they are seen as guilty. Sure, we may tack the word "allegedly" onto that - mainly with a sarcastic tone and a disdain for having to include it. This is soooo dangerous. With this mindset in place, if people ever do get arrested for political or religious stances, what chance do they have? In addition, it poisons the jury pool. It becomes harder and harder to find people without pre-concieved notions for the jury. What people are you left with? If they aren't aware of a major case even with this massive coverage, how in touch with society are they?
- In Sports, All That Matters Are W, L, and $ - The first statement out of Nike's Headquarters was that this whole incident had no bearing on their marketing for Vick's new shoe. They knew that this incident would not hurt sales, so they probably really wanted to rush out the shoes. Instead, that statement got torn to shreds in the press. Now they are delaying the release. Why? Do you honestly think that moms are going to stop their kids from getting the shoes because they are Vick's? Actually, there is a huge portion of people who would be buying that type of shoes who would be MORE likely to buy it now because Vick is in trouble. The NFL is not going to suspend Vick for now. The Falcons are not going to bench him until the trial affects his ability to play. Falcon fans are hoping he gets off. I admire the new NFL conduct code, but if they aren't going to use it on this, what strength does it have? The line in it that the player "brought shame or embarrassment to himself, his team, and the league." That doesn't describe Vick at all. That bong he tried to smuggle on a plane? Not embarrassing. And even if he is found innocent, having a dogfighting ring run out of his house by his friends? Nope, no shame there. Come on. Just because he's a star he shouldn't get treated different. This is the same as when Ray Lewis was charged with murder and still went to training camp. The same as when Jamal Lewis went to prison for SELLING DRUGS and didn't get suspended by the league. Ridonkulous.
- This Shows How Screwed Up Society's Priorities Are - Why is this such a heinous story? Because dogs are involved. I have said before, the best way to show that a character is a villain in a movie is to have them kill a dog. What happened in Virginia is horrible and disgusting. I think that it shows a degenerate mind. But is there this kind of uproar when people are mistreated? When a child is abused or neglected, when a homeless person is beaten, when an innocent citizen is shot, when a senior citizen is abandoned, when a baby is aborted (oops, I went there). There may be news coverage of something, but it is not intense. We are used to and jaded to ordinary, run of the mill human abuse. The only thing that shocks us out of that is something truly shocking (Virginia Tech shooting, Chris Benoit murders). I think there should be outrage over this Vick thing. Don't think I am saying anything else. But I also wish that we saw humans as worth protecting as those dogs.
As far as Vick goes, I think that it doesn't look good for him. Personally, even if he was completely clueless about the ring, even if he was totally innocent, I think he has to be held responsible for being an accessory to the whole thing. It was his house, his friends, his family members. To say that no one ever slipped in talking around him, that they completely covered their tracks whenever he was at the house, is to really stretch the limits of credibility. He had to have known something, seen a cage, heard the dogs crying, noticed the cars. At first, it looked like he was at worst a passive party in the ring. Now the new evidence that led to his indictment shows that he was involved in the money end AND the dog execution. I think it speaks boatlaods about this whole thing that NO ONE is stunned that Michael Vick was invovled. It is almost like the only question is HOW involved he was. That doesn't speak well of his reputation that with all these people talking about this (even the shock jocks), not a single person has come forward and said, "I can't picture Mike being involved in this. He is not the type of person who would stomach this or allow this." They all just want to know if he actually killed the dogs - which is something they can totally believe him doing. Wow. You must be a real jerk to have your friends not even shake their heads when you get indicted for killing dogs. This is probably the most damning evidence I have heard.
If someone like Drew Brees or LaDamian Tomlinson or Reggie Bush were accused of this, we would be stunned. It would even go so far as to say if Terrell Owens or Keyshawn Johnson or Chad Johnson - some of the more annoying players - were named in this, we would have a hard time believing it. But Vick is named, and we all go, "Sound about right." Man. Those Vick boys are something else. His brother gets accused of rape, assault, and drug use and is such a problem he actually got kicked off the Virginia Tech team - and then is arrogant and uncooperative when the Dolphins stupidly gave him a chance. Mike had about above some of the fray until recently, when it seemed like he stopped trying to cover his scummy nature. My hope is that Vick and his buddies get a fast fair trial (supposedly in October). I hope that if they are truly involved in this, they are found guilty. And if they are, I want them to get the maximum sentence (six years in prison, huge butt fine). And then I want Mike Vick to be stripped of every endorsement he has. I want him to be banned from football for life. I want Nike and Powerade and the Falcons to sue him to get back signing bonuses and contract money. And then I want THAT to be the precedent for the other NFL athletes who decide to get involved in despicable actions. That would send a nice clear message.
- The Modern News Approach is Dangerous - In my mind, Vick is guilty. I think there is too much pointing to that, the least of which is the fact he was even included in a FEDERAL indictment. However, the problem is that I am not alone. Everyone has an opinion already. This story has been covered 24 hours a day for two days now. There are 24 hour television news channels, talk radio shows, internet new, internet sports, sports television shows. It is a saturation of news. I was listening to Tom Brokaw on ESPN Radio's Mike and Mike yesterday morning. The hosts asked him about how he felt the story was being handled. He said exactly what I have felt for a long time. When there is this much coverage out there, it doesn't take long to cross the line to irresponsible journalism. I would go one further. On just about any news story, you pretty much exhaust the angles and facts in about four hours. Then you are stuck with two option: wait for updates or talk about the same stuff. That is what you find on the media outlets. You have people who keep talking and talking about the same exact details. And then everyone is desperately searching for leaks, hints, rumors, and updates. This has led to some of the irresponsible stuff we have seen over the recent past. People release news without confirmations. They use some questionable source as breaking news. Why have we had so many problems with government leaks lately? It all ties into this. The other major problem is that once you reach the point of saturation, the only way to stand out is to make off the wall statements. This is especially true in the sports news world. Every major city has AT LEAST one sports talk radio station. In Orlando we have two. Plus, ESPN has four TV channels, Fox Sports has one, CSS sports, Sunshine Sports (in Florida), and all the traditional news stations. There is a huge amount of babble going on. So many sports guys have resorted to making bizarre and controversial statements to break into that glut. That is how guys like Skip Bayless, Dan LeBatard, and Woody Paige jumped from newspaper guys to television guys. And that is how they stay there - they make ridiculous comments. I'm sure we aren't too far away from one or all of those guys defending dogfighting (if it hasn't already happened). I already have heard sportswriters defending Vick and his buddies by saying this is a racist issue. They also have tried to say that dogfighting is cultural among a group of African-Americans in the south. Really? That makes it okay? It didn't make racisim or slavery or polygamy okay. I think that we all should agree that if a cultural event involved murder and torture, it should generally be frowned upon in America. But some people have tried to defend this to get national airplay. The line between editorial and news is so blurred we don't even know what it is.
- Innocent Until Proven Guilty is Bunk - With the news going this way, that ancient concept of American justice is gone. All that matters is the initial news break. The follow-ups never get the same airplay as the first story - unless it is at the end of a whole overblown media cirucs (OJ, Michael Jackson, Paris Hilton). For example, if someone gets sued for something, that gets front page coverage. Ninety percent of the time, the suit has no merit or it gets dropped or the sued party wins or they settle. But this doesn't get the same recognition. So we hear about people suing McDonald's for getting fat. But we never hear that the courts laughed those people out of the courtroom. Or we hear someone getting charged with something, and then don't hear what happened. We assume that an indictment or getting charged with something means that person was found guilty. Now, a FEDERAL indictment is different than an average one. Those are usually extremely well researched. In most cases, it takes as much work to get a federal grand jury to indict as it would to get a full local trial won. Plus, you don't have the same risk of District Attorneys going out on personal resume building (like the Duke lacrosse case). However, in the court of public opinion, if a person is charged or sued they are seen as guilty. Sure, we may tack the word "allegedly" onto that - mainly with a sarcastic tone and a disdain for having to include it. This is soooo dangerous. With this mindset in place, if people ever do get arrested for political or religious stances, what chance do they have? In addition, it poisons the jury pool. It becomes harder and harder to find people without pre-concieved notions for the jury. What people are you left with? If they aren't aware of a major case even with this massive coverage, how in touch with society are they?
- In Sports, All That Matters Are W, L, and $ - The first statement out of Nike's Headquarters was that this whole incident had no bearing on their marketing for Vick's new shoe. They knew that this incident would not hurt sales, so they probably really wanted to rush out the shoes. Instead, that statement got torn to shreds in the press. Now they are delaying the release. Why? Do you honestly think that moms are going to stop their kids from getting the shoes because they are Vick's? Actually, there is a huge portion of people who would be buying that type of shoes who would be MORE likely to buy it now because Vick is in trouble. The NFL is not going to suspend Vick for now. The Falcons are not going to bench him until the trial affects his ability to play. Falcon fans are hoping he gets off. I admire the new NFL conduct code, but if they aren't going to use it on this, what strength does it have? The line in it that the player "brought shame or embarrassment to himself, his team, and the league." That doesn't describe Vick at all. That bong he tried to smuggle on a plane? Not embarrassing. And even if he is found innocent, having a dogfighting ring run out of his house by his friends? Nope, no shame there. Come on. Just because he's a star he shouldn't get treated different. This is the same as when Ray Lewis was charged with murder and still went to training camp. The same as when Jamal Lewis went to prison for SELLING DRUGS and didn't get suspended by the league. Ridonkulous.
- This Shows How Screwed Up Society's Priorities Are - Why is this such a heinous story? Because dogs are involved. I have said before, the best way to show that a character is a villain in a movie is to have them kill a dog. What happened in Virginia is horrible and disgusting. I think that it shows a degenerate mind. But is there this kind of uproar when people are mistreated? When a child is abused or neglected, when a homeless person is beaten, when an innocent citizen is shot, when a senior citizen is abandoned, when a baby is aborted (oops, I went there). There may be news coverage of something, but it is not intense. We are used to and jaded to ordinary, run of the mill human abuse. The only thing that shocks us out of that is something truly shocking (Virginia Tech shooting, Chris Benoit murders). I think there should be outrage over this Vick thing. Don't think I am saying anything else. But I also wish that we saw humans as worth protecting as those dogs.
As far as Vick goes, I think that it doesn't look good for him. Personally, even if he was completely clueless about the ring, even if he was totally innocent, I think he has to be held responsible for being an accessory to the whole thing. It was his house, his friends, his family members. To say that no one ever slipped in talking around him, that they completely covered their tracks whenever he was at the house, is to really stretch the limits of credibility. He had to have known something, seen a cage, heard the dogs crying, noticed the cars. At first, it looked like he was at worst a passive party in the ring. Now the new evidence that led to his indictment shows that he was involved in the money end AND the dog execution. I think it speaks boatlaods about this whole thing that NO ONE is stunned that Michael Vick was invovled. It is almost like the only question is HOW involved he was. That doesn't speak well of his reputation that with all these people talking about this (even the shock jocks), not a single person has come forward and said, "I can't picture Mike being involved in this. He is not the type of person who would stomach this or allow this." They all just want to know if he actually killed the dogs - which is something they can totally believe him doing. Wow. You must be a real jerk to have your friends not even shake their heads when you get indicted for killing dogs. This is probably the most damning evidence I have heard.
If someone like Drew Brees or LaDamian Tomlinson or Reggie Bush were accused of this, we would be stunned. It would even go so far as to say if Terrell Owens or Keyshawn Johnson or Chad Johnson - some of the more annoying players - were named in this, we would have a hard time believing it. But Vick is named, and we all go, "Sound about right." Man. Those Vick boys are something else. His brother gets accused of rape, assault, and drug use and is such a problem he actually got kicked off the Virginia Tech team - and then is arrogant and uncooperative when the Dolphins stupidly gave him a chance. Mike had about above some of the fray until recently, when it seemed like he stopped trying to cover his scummy nature. My hope is that Vick and his buddies get a fast fair trial (supposedly in October). I hope that if they are truly involved in this, they are found guilty. And if they are, I want them to get the maximum sentence (six years in prison, huge butt fine). And then I want Mike Vick to be stripped of every endorsement he has. I want him to be banned from football for life. I want Nike and Powerade and the Falcons to sue him to get back signing bonuses and contract money. And then I want THAT to be the precedent for the other NFL athletes who decide to get involved in despicable actions. That would send a nice clear message.
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