Apr 29, 2015

15 to 15: Don't Want to Miss a Thing

So here's the rundown.  Today is Wednesday, April 29, 2015.  That means it is exactly 15 weeks until our 15th anniversary.  So in a countdown to the big day, I decided to start a weekly series of anecdotes from our 15 years of marriage.  I am calling it 15 Weeks to 15 Years.  Since everything needs a hashtag, it would be #15to15.  I am utilizing the blog because I have a propensity to yammer a lot when I'm writing and no one would want to read a long status update.  So be looking for these weekly entries.  

I love music.  I love singing, listening to music, making up stupid alternate versions of songs.  Music is awesome.  And I love to find special meanings for songs.  When Heather and I were dating, Lonestar put out their song "Amazed." I remember hearing it and thinking how it applied to Heather.  So one time I took her to class and dropped her off.  While she was in class, I went to get a copy of the CD.  I drove to pick her up and parked in the lot.  It was storming and my CD changer was in the trunk of the car.  So I actually climbed into the back seat and folded the seat down, reached through into the trunk, and changed the CD.  I was still soaking wet, but with sweat instead of rain.  When she got in, the song was playing.  Very sweet, I know.  We danced to that song at our wedding.  

In the years since then, I have found other songs that I have heard and sent to Heather: Shania Twain's "Still the One," Alicia Keys' "No One," Adele's "One and Only," Paramore's "Still Into You,"
John Legend's "All of Me."  I can be pretty sappy. This has been a part of our relationship from the beginning.  It is all very sweet and wonderful.

On a separate topic, sleep and I have a strange relationship.  There are times where I can stay up really late, get up early, be fine.  There are other times where I will go to bed by 10, wake up at 8, and fall asleep in carline.  It was much worse before I got put onto my CPAP machine at night.  By the time I was prescribed that, I was barely functioning during the day.  I was like a zombie.  I had horrific sleep apnea.  Apparently I have had this for a very long time.  Because of all of this, when I get tired, I am going to fall asleep.  It is pretty pointless to try to keep me awake.  (Not a good problem to have while driving, by the way.)

While we were dating, I worked at a church in Tampa.  I was in charge of the college department.  But I was also in charge of all of the publications and design work.  This made for very long days.  I had to be in when the office opened, because a great deal of my work had to be done during normal work hours.  BUT, the college activities were always the latest things scheduled.  So on a Wednesday, for example, I would be there from 8:00am to 11:00pm.  To make things worse, I was also going to seminary one day a week in Orlando.  On Mondays, I would have to drive to Orlando for eight hours of classes and then drive home.  I got one day off a week (Saturday), unless there was an event (which there usually was).  As we got closer to our wedding, Heather moved into our new apartment.  This was 30 minutes away.  So now I had a lot of driving added in.  Needless to say, I was tired all the time.

I would come home from seminary on a Monday night.  Heather would be hanging out with my roommates, waiting for me to show up so she could at least see me before she went home.  I would chat with them for a little while, sitting on the couch.  My roomie Chris would sometimes be waiting for me to arrive because he had something really important to talk to me about.  He would start talking and I would just zonk out right there.  Sometimes I would be in mid-sentence.  They would think I had stopped to think.  Nope.  Asleep.  After we got married, this continued.  We would go to bed and Heather would want to talk to me about something.  Bam.  I was out.  She got really frustrated at me.  I've gotten better now.  But for a good while, I was not the best communicator after 10pm.

So, back to the music.  We were sitting in the car one day and the radio was on.  Aerosmith's big hit "Don't Want to Miss a Thing" from Armageddon came on.  Here was my chance to be Mr Smooth.  I looked over at her and started to sing with Steven Tyler.  Now, most women, I assume, would love to have their man sing to them.  I mean, that is so romantic.  But Heather is not most women.  :)

I started up, "I could stay awake, just to heeeeeaaaaar you breeeeatheeeeeng.  Watch you smile while you are sleeping..."

Heather interrupted and looked over at me.  "No you couldn't.  You can't stay awake to hear me talking.  So you sure aren't going to stay wake to see me breathing."

Busted.  There is something I have grown to appreciate about my wife.  I say grown to appreciate because early on, I didn't like it.  Heather doesn't buy my bull.  She has never been impressed with my bravado or image projection.  She sees through it and calls me on it.  It has forced me to be more genuine and real across the board.  And that has made me a better man.  So it has been a good thing.  In that moment, mid-power ballad, I wasn't so appreciative of that quality.  As our roles have changed over the years, there have been several times when I did in fact stay awake and watch Heather sleeping.  SO THERE.  But I just don't sing about it.