Let's All Go to the Mass-Marketing Opportunity

I love summer.  It is one of my favorite times of year.  Sure, I hate the heat, the oppressive sun, the lack of daytime diversions for children.  I hate the beach, the bugs, the sunscreen odor.  I hate the dearth of real sports - where the only thing left is baseball (said with disdain).  So, how could I possibly say that I love summer?

Summer movies.

That's right, the glorious summer cinema lineup makes up for all the nastiness that summer brings.  Just about every single week, a new flick hits the multiplex - meaning that for between 2 and 4 hours, you can escape the heat, humidity, and hurricanes (I had almost forgotten about blasted hurricanes).  MOVIES!!!

Think about the summer movies of years past - Terminator 2, Jurassic Park, Independence Day, Batman (all of them), Men in Black, Spiderman, Pirates of the Caribbean.  Huge awesome spectacles.  I love summer movies.  They are movies I actually WANT to see - not just movies that some snooty reviewer thinks I should want to see.  And there are even surprises - movies that sneak into the summer lineup and end up being awesome (The Bourne Trilogy, WALL-E, Italian Job).  

There is a problem, though.  I have noticed that lately, the marketing for these movies are starting to dwarf the films themselves.  Sure, there has always been marketing.  I have glasses from McDonalds for Batman Forever - and now the glasses for Star Trek from Burger King.  My kids can pull out Kids Meal tie-ins from dozens of movies.  The marketing itself is not the problem.  It is the MASS-MARKETING!!!  With THREE EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!  I can handle the glasses at Burger King, or the little character toys in the Kids Meal.  But Star Trek has a tie-in with E-Surance?  And Verizon?  What the what?  Why?  If anything, Star Trek should show how inept those companies are, not be tied into them - what with the advanced technology we see on display, reminding us how sucky our cell phones companies are.

Last year Iron Man had a tie in with 7-11 for Slurpee cups.  A couple years back, Superman Returns also did.  (Apparently The Hulk also did, but I didn't care.)  They had special cups with 3-D images.  You know, the ones you can scratch the side of and make cool sounds?  I have some of these cups in my cupboard.  So, no surprise when Wolverine this year pulls the same thing.  Well, that movie just came out last week.  On Saturday of last week - ONE DAY after Wolverine jumped into the cinemas - 7-11 had switched its cups to Terminator cups.  It is getting to be like holidays in the stores.  We start pushing the next one before the other happens.

I think the tipping point came back when the ridiculous Matrix sequels came out.  I was super excited.  And so were the marketers.  The second Matrix film was EVERYWHERE.  I read an article talking about how their challenge was to get coverage for the movie - they wanted to have as many people as possible "know about" the movie.  And they succeeded.  It had the highest "Q Rating" of any movie ever - something like 99.4%.  The opening weekend was the biggest Rated R movie opening ever.  And the movie was HORRIBLE.  It's too bad that they didn't spend half of that marketing budget on making sure the Wachowskis didn't go crazy instead.  But this is what the movie industry has become.  The hype machine is so powerful that it just overpowers the films.  

They are so worried about the biggest opening weekend that they don't worry about the movie itself.  That is why we see movies open to $75 million and then drop to $20 million the next week.  People figure out the movie is terrible and don't go.  That is what will happen with Wolverine this weekend - and most of the films coming out this summer.  It is rare to have a movie win three weekends in a row - or having a few huge weeks.  It is those movies that stand out - they ones that the hype is actually justified.  Word of mouth brings more people the subsequent weeks.  Why was The Dark Knight so huge last year?  It was a GREAT movie, with people telling their friends to go.  But even that movie nearly got toppled by the hype - by the time I saw it I was on the verge of feeling it wasn't as good as it was made out to be.  But how could it be?  It was touted like crazy for months.  

I understand the need for marketing to pull in as much money as possible.  But how about reining it in a little bit?  Do you really need to be on every cereal box, every waffle box, every soda box?  Do we need to have a Transformer Whopper (real thing coming this summer)?  Did we need a Gotham pizza?  Should the NBA (already with a image problem) be using highlights to promote Angels and Demons?  A sleepover at the Smithsonian?  Indiana Jones Adventure Snickers with a hint of coconut and "exotic spices?"  

Movie people - since I know you read this blog religiously - let's make a deal.  You just worry about making the movies as well as you can.  I'll go to the movies.  We'll both be happy.  Shoot, add a dollar onto my ticket price to make up for less marketing.  See?  That works out well for everyone.  You aren't fooling us.  We aren't going to go to the movies for the gimmicks.  We want to enjoy and have fun.  No one is dumb enough to fall for your cheap tricks.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to go drink my Throwback Pepsi.

College of Medicine

I have wanted to write this post for a long time, but I was afraid to.  Part of it was because I knew it was going to be very long.  Part of it was because I don't come off too well for the first good bit of the story.  But I guess I need to just go ahead and write it.  So apologies if I damage your highly inflated view of me - or if the post is insanely long.  

When I was growing up, I had views of how a family should be.  Some of this was from my own family experiences.  Some of it was from church and the very conservative school I went to through my Elementary years.  Basically, the husband worked; the wife stayed home.  He brought in the money; she did all the housework.  He was in charge; she was in submission.  He was the final say and ultimate disciplinarian; she did, well, just about everything else.  Those women who "insisted" on working did not accept authority - either earthly or heavenly.  [Dude, I warned you that I don't come off well.]  So in my little brain, I just assumed that my wife was going to always be home with the kids.  Sure, she needed to finish college "just in case."  And when I entered the ministry, my wife was going to be my support and help the ministry succeed.  

Well, then along came Heather.  We were dating, and one day started to discuss the future.  I'm really not sure how everything played out.  I just know that my dear Heather dropped the bomb that she wanted to go to Medical School.  I just sat in the car stunned.  What?!?  And thus began one of our first arguments.  Huge argument.  I'm sitting thinking that my point of view is completely accurate.  I even was generous enough to offer the whole "once the kids are in school" caveat.  But she was really convinced that she was going to go to Med School.  Well, I loved Heather and wanted to marry her.  So I just figured that she would come around.  (And she was just praying I would come around.)  

Being the awesome person she is, Heather knew how much the concept of Med School bothered me.  She tried everything.  She planned to do Nursing School, accounting, medical technician, teacher.  She looked at anything else she could.  The problem was, none of them fit.  I noticed this, but i just couldn't come to grips with her going to Medical School.  I had realized that she needed to do something.  She is happier when she has something to do - school, job, something.  She's a great mom - but a better mom when there is something else demanding time.  [NOTE: I'm not saying that women staying home is wrong.  I think for many families, that is the best option.  This is our experience - nothing more to be read into this story.]

Well, about four or five years into our marriage, our church was going through 40 Days of Purpose.  I had been really struggling with what I was supposed to do with my life.  I had a hard time believing that I was supposed to design bulletin shells all the time.  I was praying a lot about what to do.  During the study, God really crystallized some things in my mind.  God gives us talents, gifts, and passions.  When we are utilizing all three of those, we are able to do so much for God.  We're good at what we do, God is blessing it, we are enjoying it.  And for me, that was teaching and writing.  I was thrilled to figure this out.  I needed to find out a place to make this work.  FINALLY - DIRECTION!!!  I met with my supervisor and our pastor.  They both talked with me and prayed that I would find something that gave me an opportunity to write and teach.  It actually wasn't too much later that Defender Ministries began.  I have been able to teach thousands of people, have written tons of curriculum, and really found my purpose.  

Meanwhile, back at home, my wife was still struggling.  And one day, leaving church, God punched me in the eye.  I had just taught my college guys Sunday School class and was heading home.  Heather had stayed home (again) with sick kids.  I was feeling awesome about myself, and actually was thanking God for giving me a chance to do what He made me to do.  "Feeling pretty good, huh?  That's great.  So why is that YOU can feel that way, that YOU can do what I made you to do - and your wife cannot?"  You know that moment when you were a kid and you had done something wrong and the teacher walked up?  That moment when you wished you could teleport somewhere else?  Well, you know that whole verse about "where can you go and hide from God?"  Yeah....

The whole way home I just rotated that question in my mind.  I couldn't justify it.  Heather was obviously talented with science.  She had the gifts of compassion and discernment.  And she was passionate about people and medicine.  How could I continue to fight and tell her she had to ignore those things?  When I got home I apologized and told her that I was going to do everything I could to make sure she was able to pursue Med School.  Was I terrified?  Uh, yeah.  (Am I still?  Sometimes.)  But I gave her my word.  And I don't lie to my wife.

She finished school - with a degree Molecular and Microbiology.  She graduated with a 3.7 GPA.  Her GPA after having kids was 3.95.  Darth Gabus came along after Med School, which means she took the MCAT with a seven month old.  She got a 30.  (For those of you, like me, who know nothing about MCATs -- that's really good).  And then we applied all over the place and waited.  I kept on telling her that if God wanted her to go, she would go.  Sure, there were days I hoped that someone (or Someone) changed their mind.  But I don't lie to my wife.

And we waited.

And we waited.

We wanted to get into UCF.  One, it was home.  Two, we had so much here.  Three, the school I was teaching at and Josiah was attending was awesome.  Four, it was free.  But 4300 people applied for 40 spots.  So we waited . . . and waited . . . and waited.

It got to be discouraging, as months rolled on with nothing.  Sure, we sent off tons of secondary applications.  But no contact.  We at one point were concerned about having to choose between schools.  I started praying that we would just get one school - the place we should go.  "God, we're dumb.  We'll mess this up.  Just tell us where to go."  I had prayed this way before and it had worked out (right before Heather and I started dating, actually).  So I tried it again.  And waited.

And waited.

Finally, in February Heather got contacted by FSU.  They wanted to interview her.  We drove the unbelievably mind-numbing drive up and she had her interview.  "At this late date, if things go well, you'll probably be wait listed.  Don't expect to get accepted right away."  The interview went well, but that ominous statement was issued as well.  And they dropped the bomb that they started May 26 - not August like we were planning.

We still were hoping to hear from UCF - or UF or USF.  But Heather had fallen in love with FSU.  It was everything she wanted.  I was thrilled for her - except - it was in Tallahassee.  I don't have anything against Tallahassee.  One of my best friends, Greg Ramer, lives there.  I had fond memories of the city.  But what about my school?  What about our friends?  What about Defender?  What about me?  

Again, God hit me with a question.  "Why does it always have to be about you?"  Dang.  FSU called a couple days later.  They flat out accepted her.  No wait list.  Just a "Please come here.  We want you here."  Then UCF emailed to say, sorry but no.  UF and USF followed suit.  God had indeed answered my prayer.  There was one place - FSU.  It meant changing everything in our family.  I would stay home and homeschool the kids.  She would go to school for four years, residency for four years, and then be a full doctor.  I was so proud of her.  But....

All that stuff from the first part of this post came rumbling back.  This wasn't normal.  This wasn't the way things were supposed to be.  I felt selfish thoughts continue to boil up.  My ego didn't like being second banana.  I didn't like the thought of sitting around for years, while she was able to pursue what she wanted.  I wanted assurances about time constraints and chances to have personal time.  I had never given her those things.  But I felt it was my right.

I didn't like those things surfacing.  I felt like junk for a couple weeks.  There was a war going on inside.  The man I wanted to be - the one who would allow God to do something surprising and who would support his wife - was battling the man I used to be - the one whose view of the world began and ended with himself.  When we headed up to FSU for Open House, I still was fighting and hoping something would resolve.

Having hours to kill on a drive allows for conversation.  So I just spilled out what I was battling with.  I told Heather all of it - even the parts that made me look bad.  I don't lie to my wife.  She responded by saying she completely understood that battle.  The biggest concern she had about this whole move was that I would never feel taken for granted.  We both prayed that the weekend would be helpful to iron out some issues. 

Once we got to the school, I started to understand.  I listened to the way the school is set up.  It is like it was created for Heather.  The way she views medicine, views people - is what the school values.  They chose her BECAUSE of who she was - not in spite of it.  They picked her because she was a mom with a strong faith.  They saw her as the exact type of student they wanted.  Every step of the weekend just showed how much God was in all of this.  We found a place to live that was perfect for us.  Which was the perfect companion to the school that was perfect for Heather.

Am I still nervous?  Oh, yeah.  I know my weaknesses and fear for my children's sanity at times.  I wonder how all of this will work - the finances, the schooling, the homeschooling.  But I know for sure this is where we are supposed to go.  And I have stopped trying to generate "something for me" up there.  This isn't about me.  My role is to minister to my wife and kids for this season.  And I am getting excited.  I'm not saying that every family has to do this.  I just know that OUR family is supposed to do this.

So in less than two months, we are moving to Tallahassee.  Heather is going on the adventure of her life.  She is going to study and thrive.  She is going to be a leader.  She is going to touch so many lives.  And she still is going to be a great mom, and a great wife, and a godly woman - and a great doctor.  In a few years, we probably will move again for residency.  I have no idea what this means for me.  God hasn't shown me that yet.  All I know is that right now, I am going to do everything I can to pour my life into my kids and to support my wife.  I promised that to them.  I promised that to Heather almost five years ago.  And I don't lie to my wife.  

Darth Gabus

This isn't a deep insightful post. (Neither are the rest of them, Staples. Move on, move on.)

I love my kids. I don't think that is a surprise to anyone out there. I think all of them are just awesome. I have really enjoyed getting to know Gabe as he has gotten older and developed his own unique personality. And that personality is a fink. He is just crazy - absolutely nuts. He is also brilliant, and he is very mechanically inclined. He can unlock our cell phones, Heather's iPod Touch, basically any electronic gadget. He can open every unlocked item with batteries and get the batteries out. He also has learned how to switch the sound off of the television - usually right in the middle of something important. I mean, he's such a sweet and funny kid. But he's a full fledged fink.

I gave him the nickname "Darth Gabus" a while back. My theory before he was born was that he was going to become the ringleader. He would just sit back with his dark cloak and give the other two suggestions and then laugh as they took the blame. I see nothing to disprove this. In fact, it seems like he is well on his way. Not to say that he doesn't do his own damage.

• When I change his diaper, I will say, "I need to clean your butt." (Don't judge me.) Well, naturally he has learned to say butt. "Butt butt" Now whenever he gets his diaper changed "butt butt." When he gets a bath "butt butt." At first he was confused, uh, what side of his body his "butt butt" was on. He was walking by and I said, "Hey Gabe, where's your butt?" He stopped, looked at me, grabbed the front of his shorts like he was a smack-talking wrestler and goes "butt butt butt." Noooooo. Well, I think he figured it out now. We were wrestling around on the ground the other day. After he was done, I was laying on my stomach. I guess my shorts had slid down a little, because next thing I know, he walked by and stopped next to me. He poked my backside, said "butt butt" and raced down the hallway.
• At night, Gabe does not want to ever go to bed. He'll stay up as long as he can stand up. He's tired, and you can tell because he starts to do stuff wrong. He'll go to the pantry and open it and pull stuff out and throw it all over. He'll pull DVDs down off the bookcase. He'll open drawers, turn off the TV sound, bang on my computer, open the dishwasher, dance around to any music on the television. It is like a human whirlwind. The whole point is to keep busy and play like crazy. UNLESS.... If for some reason Natalie or Josiah has climbed up into Heather's lap for any reason, Gabe will know and race over to her and start whining, crying, screaming to get held. He'll get pulled up there and sit there for a couple minutes and then get back down and run away. He just doesn't want anyone else up there. He is very jealous of Mommy's time.
• Today after my shower, I had not put my shirt on yet. I was playing around with Gabe and the other kids on the bed. I had gotten onto the floor and covered myself with a blanket. My arms were on the bed with my chin resting on the bed. The older two kids started sliding down my back. Darth Gabus had different plans. He started to headbutt me every time I peeked out of the covers. After about five good whacks, he started to stomp on my head. It was like something out of old WWF. It didn't hurt too bad, just this kid maniacally laughing while stomping on my head. I finally sat up and said "You know what? I've had enough of this." He saw his chance and raced across the bed, grabbed both of my nipples in his little hands and yanked. A double purple nurple. You beginning to understand the name now?

And, yes, we're loving every minute of it.

Not Watching the Watchmen

I apologize for not having posted so much lately. Things have been so hectic, and I think I use that line in every post. Seriously, though, we will be relocating soon. Heather got into FSU's Medical School. YAY HER! Which means we will be leaving our hometown of seven years and heading up to Tallahassee. This is going to be a big challenge to say the least. It is going to be exciting in many ways. It is very hard to leave Orlando - especially our friends and our school. But this is the right move for us. And when that phase is over, we'll probably bemoan having to leave Tally too.

This past week a big movie came out - The Watchmen. It was based on the ground and paradigm breaking graphic novel of the same name. I had never read the comic, despite my love for that genre. I was excited about the movie, just because I had heard so much about the title from so many people over the years. I didn't want my first impression of the story to come in the theatre - just in case they screwed up the whole shebang. So I bought the complete work at Target and started to read it.

What I found was indeed something amazing. I looked at it and could see how it had influenced everything from The Dark Knight to Lost. It's story telling and extras had basically laid the groundwork for how television shows, movies, and dvds are put together. Even though I had not seen its influence as it happened, I could definitely recognize it looking back. It was like when I read John Maxwell's first book (25 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership or whatever - you know, the first one before he started rewording himself twenty times). You read it and go, "Well duh, everyone knows that." And then you realize he wrote it decades ago and go, "OH, not everyone knew it THEN." Same thing with The Watchmen.

But that's where the praises ended. The book itself was - using one of my new favorite phrases - "relentlessly depressing." I have started labeling things that. The Book of Ecclesiastes, for example. They are so negative and dark, and they never let up. Now, you could see where I would be drawn to something like that. I mean, people call me Eeyore. I am a melancholy personality type. I have been called dark and negative and all that stuff. But I hated The Watchmen. It was just ... too dark. The world was full of degenerates, and the superheroes send to defend them were the worst sinners of all. The atrocities that these protectors generated were worse that the world itself could manufacture. And that was part of the story, I think. But the ending message was that things will never get better. The most black and white hero - the one who believed in absolutes - suffers from his own partners due to that. And the ending was just soul sucking.

Actually, it had no hope. That was where it lost me. You see, yes, I have a darker side that pulls at me. But I have hope - tons of it. That hope is not in people. I know that left to their own devices, people will do everything rotten possible. Just read the news. I have hope that one person can make a difference. It may not be a difference in the whole world, but it could be in THEIR whole world. There is hope - and there is a future. I guess this comes from my faith in God. I can't separate that faith from my life - even for a moment. It has been a part of me for so long that I can't even think about operating any other way. And the people around me know that. So I am not willing to give up hope and just resign myself to the ugly inevitable apocalypse. Sure, Revelation had its share of devastation promised. But my job is not to dwell on that - rather I should be trying to change my world as much as possible in the time I have.

I know that this faith is often misunderstood. And I know that some people just assume a lot of things about me - like that I will hate them for living a different lifestyle or having different beliefs. So they will pre-emptively hate me or whatever. But I do my best to show love and hope in my every day life. There are times that the day-to-day struggles will get to me and I will start to lose sight of that hope. But I can't let that last for long. I know the truth and it will restore my faith.

So that's why I didn't go to the movie. Well, that and the nudity, sex, violence, vulgarity. I just am not ready to put myself in front of a three hour movie that is going to preach that hope is dead. I see enough horror on cnn.com. I am well aware of the nasty elements that seem to be exploding in our society. And that is why it is even more important to keep on trying to change what I can in my little circle of the universe. I'll let others worry about the Watchmen's nihilistic view of life.

Now, Star Trek is a different story....

A Fraud

fraud  |frawd|

noun

• wrongful or criminal deception intended to result in financial or personal gain
• a person or thing intended to deceive others, typically by unjustifiably claiming or being credited with accomplishments or qualities.

We are in the middle of awards season, or as I like to call it - The Time of Year When Critics Show Just How Unconnected They Are to the Rest of the World.  At least one time during all of the award shows, one female celebrity will have the misfortune (or fortune, depending on your level of cynicism) of wearing a dress that appears to be perfectly normal until it gets hit by the bright lights of the red carpet or stage.  When those lights slam into that dress, it will become transparent - revealing everything underneath.  It happens every year.  

This is what just happened to Alex Rodriguez.  And Michael Phelps.  And Christian Bale.  When the bright lights hit them, they took away all the glamorous and attractive and heroic outer coating and showed us exactly what was underneath.  And in each case, we are left to look at those guys a little different.  

A-Rod

Rodriguez was the Chosen One.  He put up unbelievable numbers at a very young age.  He actually had a legitimate chance to break every offensive record in Major League Baseball.  There had rarely been such a combination of power, speed, defense, and marketability.  He was voted one of People's 50 Most Beautiful.  He signed the richest contract in baseball history.  10 Years, $252 Million.  And he labored in smaller markets and generated an enormous amount of goodwill.  He was seen as a good guy with so much potential.  

Then he went to New York.  And the bright lights shined harsh and fast.  We began to see the warts that were under the facade.  He was a lousy clutch performer.  He was a diva with thin skin - affected by criticism.  He was a poor teammate.  He was greedy.  He had a thing for 50 year old pop superstars.  He got ridiculed for everything, because every time you turned around he was doing something else stupid.  And then we found out that he cheated.  From 2001-2003 he was using steroids.  Ignore the fact that this information NEVER should have been made public and that it violated so many agreements.  The fact is that he is a cheater.  He had used drugs to prove he was worth those ridiculous contracts.  And now we are supposed to believe he's clean?!?  He has done nothing by lie and spin since he went to the Yankees.  Why believe him now?  He will always be a fraud.  

Michael Phelps

Phelps was the Chosen One.  He was going to restore hope in the Olympics.  His incredible performances in China riveted the world to the television.  Eight gold medals!  World records!  Photo finishes!  10,000 calories a day!  Son of a cop with an adorable mom who followed him everywhere - and that he respected and loved.  My kids know who he is and still talk about his races.  Sponsors swooped around him.  What a great kid, a real American hero.

Then he had nothing to aim for.  And the bright lights of being a celebrity shined harsh.  And they never shut off - even for an instant.  They watch every girl you date.  They see you everywhere you go.  Even when that means lighting up a bong at a college party.  Who knows why he did it.  Apparently he didn't learn from his DUI after Athens.  He likes to party, likes to have a good time during his non-practice time.  But everyone is watching now.  People wanted to defend him - saying so many people do it.  It is still illegal.  And it is still stupid.  And it is still reckless.  Who knows if it was intentional or not - Michael hoping to get some harsher edges.  Trying to buck the golden boy image.  If so, it worked.  He's not a golden boy any more.  He is a fraud.

Christian Bale

Bale was the Chosen One.  He was the finest actor of his era.  He brought a legitimacy and power to every role he filled.  Dragon hunter.  Magician.  Weird skinny guy.  Psychotic killer.  Superhero.  He was the perfect combination - women loved him, men loved him.  And he was filling out the suit on one of the biggest franchises in the world.  In addition, he was trying to relaunch the Terminator franchise.  And he was cast opposite of Johnny Depp in another sure summer hit.  He was Hollywood's superhero.

Then it all became too much.  And the lights shined bright and harsh.  And someone left a camera rolling too long.  And now, we all are able to see that Bale has a wee bit of an anger problem.  It started to surface last summer, when he was arrested for verbal assault of his mom and sister.  We wanted to write it off - who hasn't gotten in a fight with family?  But now, there he is ripping into a highly respected cinematographer.  Going off his rocker.  And he gets defended again - he's passionate, intense.  All good actors are like that.  Maybe it was even intentional - drumming up far more press for his movie than a 30 second Super Bowl ad.  But the fact is that now he's no longer seen as a superhero to Hollywood.  He's a risk, a loose cannon, a bad tempered malcontent.  He's a fraud.

My favorite part of all of this is when people can't accept that a fraud has been revealed.  They try to make excuses and cover for the person.  They say the laws should be changed.  They blame the cameraman for taking the pictures or the movie company for not destroying the tape.  They point their fingers at the others who are doing it wrong.  It is kind of pathetic.  Sure, it is hard to accept it when someone you admire lets you down.  I never liked A-Rod, but I liked Phelps and Bale.  But there are lots of people who associate those guys with their images.  A-Rod is a MVP.  Phelps is a Golden Boy Medalist.  Bale is Batman.  The fact is, those are all roles.  Those are things that they do.  But it isn't who they are.  They are normal people who make mistakes.  Their mistakes are just much, much more pronounced.  I think it is hard for average people to accept it when guys like this mess up.  "They have everything.  Why would they risk it?  Why would they do something to lose what they have going for them?  I would never do that."  But in reality, maybe we realize that we actually would.  Maybe we realize that in their shoes we would do the same thing.  We want to believe that someone else is above that - because we know we aren't.  Maybe we know that deep down inside, in our worlds and in our own ways, we are all frauds.