Mar 28, 2009

Darth Gabus

This isn't a deep insightful post. (Neither are the rest of them, Staples. Move on, move on.)

I love my kids. I don't think that is a surprise to anyone out there. I think all of them are just awesome. I have really enjoyed getting to know Gabe as he has gotten older and developed his own unique personality. And that personality is a fink. He is just crazy - absolutely nuts. He is also brilliant, and he is very mechanically inclined. He can unlock our cell phones, Heather's iPod Touch, basically any electronic gadget. He can open every unlocked item with batteries and get the batteries out. He also has learned how to switch the sound off of the television - usually right in the middle of something important. I mean, he's such a sweet and funny kid. But he's a full fledged fink.

I gave him the nickname "Darth Gabus" a while back. My theory before he was born was that he was going to become the ringleader. He would just sit back with his dark cloak and give the other two suggestions and then laugh as they took the blame. I see nothing to disprove this. In fact, it seems like he is well on his way. Not to say that he doesn't do his own damage.
  • When I change his diaper, I will say, "I need to clean your butt." (Don't judge me.) Well, naturally he has learned to say butt. "Butt butt" Now whenever he gets his diaper changed "butt butt." When he gets a bath "butt butt." At first he was confused, uh, what side of his body his "butt butt" was on. He was walking by and I said, "Hey Gabe, where's your butt?" He stopped, looked at me, grabbed the front of his shorts like he was a smack-talking wrestler and goes "butt butt butt." Noooooo. Well, I think he figured it out now. We were wrestling around on the ground the other day. After he was done, I was laying on my stomach. I guess my shorts had slid down a little, because next thing I know, he walked by and stopped next to me. He poked my backside, said "butt butt" and raced down the hallway.
  • At night, Gabe does not want to ever go to bed. He'll stay up as long as he can stand up. He's tired, and you can tell because he starts to do stuff wrong. He'll go to the pantry and open it and pull stuff out and throw it all over. He'll pull DVDs down off the bookcase. He'll open drawers, turn off the TV sound, bang on my computer, open the dishwasher, dance around to any music on the television. It is like a human whirlwind. The whole point is to keep busy and play like crazy. UNLESS.... If for some reason Natalie or Josiah has climbed up into Heather's lap for any reason, Gabe will know and race over to her and start whining, crying, screaming to get held. He'll get pulled up there and sit there for a couple minutes and then get back down and run away. He just doesn't want anyone else up there. He is very jealous of Mommy's time.
  • Today after my shower, I had not put my shirt on yet. I was playing around with Gabe and the other kids on the bed. I had gotten onto the floor and covered myself with a blanket. My arms were on the bed with my chin resting on the bed. The older two kids started sliding down my back. Darth Gabus had different plans. He started to headbutt me every time I peeked out of the covers. After about five good whacks, he started to stomp on my head. It was like something out of old WWF. It didn't hurt too bad, just this kid maniacally laughing while stomping on my head. I finally sat up and said "You know what? I've had enough of this." He saw his chance and raced across the bed, grabbed both of my nipples in his little hands and yanked. A double purple nurple. You beginning to understand the name now?
And, yes, we're loving every minute of it.


Benji said...


I'm wiping the tears away from laughing so hard! Maybe it is a guy thing, because Amy wanted to know why I was laughing so hard and read your post within laughing at all.

You need to learn the ways of the force to deal with Darth Gabus. I've heard the third is the trouble maker (I think the oldest of our three is ours however).

Thanks for the laugh!


Sarah said...

Ah...the force is with
I love me some Darth Gabus!!! We are friends. *wink*

Greg said...

Dude, that was awesome. I loved the last story.