Focus on the Diagnosis

In college, I had horrendous wrist pain in my left arm.  I thought it was tendonitis, which was something that my doctor seconded.  It was terrible. I had trouble typing or carrying things.  Eventually, I was diagnosed with Keinbach’s Disease, which is where a wrist bone is cut off from blood supply and ultimately dies.  I had to have wrist surgery to have my radius bone shortened to take pressure off of it, thereby stopping the pain.  My wrist was permanently affected in strength and usefulness, but at least it didn’t hurt any more.

Early in our marriage, when we first were having kids, I developed some serious joint pain.  My wrists and hands were weak, and I once again had trouble holding things.  Remembering the problems I had before, I was understandably distressed. I was worried that maybe I had Keinbach’s again - not really understanding that can’t happen.  The pain was really debilitating. I thought it might be Carpal Tunnel, since I used my computer a lot for my job.  I switched to an ergonomic keyboard and mouse.  I had to get a different desk so my wrists were not tilted the wrong way.  I switched chairs to try to help.  The pain was still horrible.  Finally, at a doctor’s appointment my physician was asking me questions about the pain.  I always had joint pain and weird joints, so I wasn’t overly troubled by things hurting. It was the intensity of pain that drew my attention.  But there was a much bigger problem going on.  I had nodes in my elbows.  There was constant pain that moved all over my body.  My doctor ordered blood tests and I found out that I had an advanced case of Rheumatoid Arthritis.  The wrists were just a symptom of the overall disease.  It didn’t matter how many wrist braces I wore; nothing was going to get better until I started dealing with the RA.

I am reminded of this as our country faces yet another challenge in this crazy year 2020.  Except this is not a problem unique to this year.  I am talking about the issue of race in America.  While it has burst into our consciousness again thanks to the repulsive actions surrounding George Floyd, this issue has been woven into our history from the very beginning.  You could argue that the history of America is the history of one group climbing higher by pushing others lower. From soon after the first colonists arrived, people of color found themselves on the receiving end of the insatiable need of whites to dominate everything in their path.  Examining the history of this country - the true history - one should not come away with a favorable picture, something to be proud of.  The more history I learn, the more offended I become.  The more disheartened I am.  I am ashamed of what has happened in the name of establishing America.  While I appreciate living in the Land of Plenty and I have benefitted by being one of those who received that Plenty, I am continually horrified by what has happened to grant me that place and keep me there.

George Floyd’s murder was a despicable act.  It has been the spark for a much needed discussion of race in America.  Much of the anger has been directed towards the police officers involved.  Naturally, the focus also has been magnified to include all police officers. Inevitably, this has led to an overall debate about police brutality, inherent racism in the police force, and even police training.  There are definitely some topics that need to be discussed and changes that need to be made.  However, this singular focus creates potential disaster.  The issue is not police brutality.  Yes, that is a very important issue.  It is something that needs to be talked about in general and regarding race specifically.  But this is also a symptom of something much larger.  Zooming to focus only on the police issue is robbing treatment of the more important disease.  Just like my wrist pain, police treatment of blacks is a symptom of something more insidious, something we must fight.  THAT is the diagnosis.  THAT is where we should be focused.  

I’m not saying to ignore the police situation.  But what I am offering up is that it becomes a too easy distraction.  When police are involved in the discussion, there will always be people who refuse to discuss any further.  The police are a vital element of our society.  There must be a line drawn for “law and order” and a group of people willing to stand there defending that line.  And, like many people retort whenever this discussion arises (as it does far too often), not all cops are bad.  I have dear friends who are police officers and who are married to police officers.  They are good people who are doing the right things.  And most of us can say the same thing.  During the recents protests and inexcusable riots, I have been concerned for these officers as well as the citizens exercising their right to protest.  You can see the problem in this issue, right? We keep swirling around and around, accomplishing nothing.  Meanwhile, the root issue, the disease, goes unhandled.

We MUST do better.  Yes, I want police officers to be held accountable for their actions.  Yes, I want police to be more careful in their dealings with blacks and all people.  Over 7,000 people were killed by officers from 2010-2019.  A disproportionate number of those were black (over 33% despite being 12% of the US population.)  But I don’t want this to become a fight between whose lives matter more - black lives or blue lives.  Even if we completely solve every single institutional issue in the police system, we still will have problems due to the racism that is so deeply scarred into the country.  

This discussion is not a comfortable one.  No one said it should be.  The other day my wife and I were having an argument with one of our children.  Another child was very distressed by this.  He wanted it to just go away.  I tried to explain to him that making the argument disappear was more unhealthy than to actually have it.  People need to be able to talk through things, to express their feelings and opinions, their hurts and disappointments.  The argument ultimately led to a greater understanding in our family, which was a good thing.  We had a goal, though.  We aimed for reconciliation and were able to achieve that.  In America, we need to have a similar approach.  We need to have a goal of reconciling the races.  We need to do whatever we can to heal this shattered land.  There are going to be very painful and awkward conversations.  Seismic shifts in our country need to happen.  Those kind of things never happen easily.  But it is more unhealthy to avoid these discussions than to face the pain.  

Even if it makes you feel uncomfortable, even if you feel angry or offended, there is a fact that needs to be embraced early on in the process.  Black people in this country are not seen as equals.  They never have been.  They are not given equal opportunities.  They are not living on equal footing.  The concept of White Privilege may be troubling to think about, but it is real.  My son can leave our house, drive around, wear whatever he wants.  He will not be harassed or suspected of anything.  He can shop and not be hassled.  My wife and I can go car shopping or look into buying a house with all options presented before us.  The black family down the street from us do not experience life the same way.  Nothing I did led and nothing they did led us to these diverse experiences.  That is the difference between being white and black in this country.  Now, there is a large group of people in this land who take this even further and hate blacks.  White supremacists, outright racists.  The fact that this subsection even still exists is nauseating.  Yet they are here and they have more of a platform than ever.  Dealing with that group is going to require much different tactics.  Beyond them, though, there is the much larger slice of the population who harbor racist thoughts - maybe subconsciously, maybe overtly.  These people harbor thoughts that affect how they see and treat blacks (and all minorities, but we will keep the focus on black/white issues today).  They could believe that blacks are inherently lazier and more violent than whites.  They could believe blacks aren’t smart enough to be quarterbacks, supervisors, head coaches.  They may cross the street to avoid blacks.  They might assume that blacks in the store are using welfare to pay.  They could think that blacks are more likely to use drugs, to get pregnant out of wedlock, to abandon their families.  They might refer to young black men as thugs and young black women as sluts. If they see a black person driving a nice car or wearing jewelry, the thought could pop up about how those things were paid for - or if they even were.  They might swear that blacks want everything handed to them.  Or they may drift closer to the white supremacists, touting the belief that blacks are the descendants of Ham and cursed forever.  Conversely, they may flee those extremes and settle for a more low-key, subtle racism.  “You ever notice how black people…”

I grew up in the South - if you consider Florida the South.  I do.  I was exposed to racism throughout my formative years.  I went to a Christian school where there were a grand total of three black students in my class throughout elementary: Tanisha, Tamara Kay, and Richard.  Once in middle school, I only had Phaedra and/or Ellis in most of my advanced classes.  There was a similar case in high school where I usually would only have some combination of Tasha, Sam, and Ellis in my higher level classes.  That was it.  The way things were districted, blacks were directed into other schools.  So in my school, it wasn’t unusual to see blacks treated differently.  Administrators were more likely to punish black students than whites, and the punishments were usually greater.  Subtle comments would be made by teachers or students. My eighth grade math teacher once told us to write something on our hands.  Then she said, “Well, Phaedra you may need to use white out.”  Everyone had one of those “did that really just happen” moments.  She didn’t say it to Ellis, though, which I pointed out to him.  He said, “She knew better.”  That and the fact she didn’t like Ellis.  Phaedra was one of the sweetest, quietest people ever.  Ellis wasn’t.  He was one of my best friends all through middle and high school, but everyone knew not to mess with Flip.  He stood up for himself and his friends.  My mom was born in Florida, just like me and my kids.  Her parents were from Canada and Pennsylvania, though.  My dad was from Vermont.  People assume racism is worse in the South, but from personal experience I can tell you that isn’t true.  Racist beliefs and comments were just as prevalent in my house as in any other Southern home.  It isn’t based on geography; it is based on the heart.  I learned just about every racist term there is from my father.  When we said he was a bigot, he would respond, “I’m not a bigot; I hate everyone the same.”  Or he would launch into the “it isn’t a stereotype if it is true.”  His comments were so audacious that they were easier to identify and avoid.  My mom’s and her family’s statements were tougher because they came from people who would not be labelled “racist.”  There were many times my mom would have to fix things around the house in a less than professional way.  Like holding the falling tile up in the bathroom by putting contact paper on it.  Or duct taping the drainpipe together.  She would call it “N*****-rigging” it.  I remember in college telling her that was a completely inappropriate term, which she seemed shocked to hear.  So she switched to “jerry-rigging” or “MickeyMousing.”  When I talked to her about dating a black girl, she cautioned me that my father would go nuts.  I already knew that, but I still argued that it wasn’t wrong.  “I don’t personally think it is wrong, but if you married one I would be scared for your children.”  Of course, I had a friend at church in high school who explained how dating blacks was wrong because “cats and dogs don’t get together.”  I was floored because he was one of my best friends and not someone who I would say was racist.  “We aren’t different species!  The correct analogy would be black dogs and white dogs.”  There was a lingo that was used in the world I lived which just became common to me.  Rap and hip-hop music were identified as “jiggaboo” music.  People down the street in “brown town” were called monkeys.  Black babies were called “niglets.” Rants were launched about drooping waistbands, durags, gold teeth and grills, backwards caps.  This isn’t to condemn my family or community.  My mother was one of the most godly women I ever knew.  I loved her deeply and valued what she taught and how she lived her life. However, even in that wonderful lady rested a river of evil thoughts towards a group of people. I want to show that even among “good people” there is a tendency to embrace these beliefs.  That is how deep this cancerous mindset is rooted.

The temptation among Americans is to try to compartmentalize racism to the Civil War or the South.  We desperately want to pretend that it is something of the past, something limited to one region.  But that is NOT TRUE.  We have to accept this to start to understand what we are dealing with.  Racism has been ingrained in every step from the beginning of this nation.  The earliest colonists stole from, murdered, banished the native people already residing in this land.  Slave ships rolled up off the coast in 1619.  The very documents this nation was founded on classified blacks as 3/5 of a person.  The country grew into a world power because it was the only empire-building nation that did not have to pay for labor costs due to slavery (and indentured servitude and mistreating immigrants).  The Civil War was fought over slavery.  (Let’s just concede that point. It isn’t worth fighting on that one thing; there are more than enough other examples.)  For those of you who feel the 1st and 2nd Amendments are endangered by other groups in this country, the 13th, 14th, and 15th amendments were passed to “solve the problem” of racial divide.  But it took one hundred years before the Civil Rights Acts of the 1960 actually gave teeth to these amendments.  Think about that: there were amendments outlawing mistreatment of blacks and other minorities for one hundred years.  Yet there still was the poll tax and the literacy tax and gerrymandering and stripping of voting rights for felons and voter intimidation and moving polling places.  And the sad thing is, those things still exist!  We have been involved in two elections so far since we moved back to South Carolina and both of them moved and shuttered polling places within a week of the election.  Rigging election districts is an even bigger practice now than ever, ensuring a concrete divide between parties.  ELEVEN states still have various bans on ex-felons voting - only half of them in the South.  This is not over.  It isn’t even close.  It isn’t relegated to the South, either.  If you want to have your eyes opened about America’s history with racism, I am going to list some places to go.  Be prepared, because after you look at these things you will never see this country the same again.  And that is a good thing.  Until we fully acknowledge the wickedness that courses through our veins, we will always be guilty of the sin of racism.

• Tears We Cannot Stop: A Sermon to White America by Michael Eric Dyson.  This book will devastate you.  After I read it, it took me weeks to be able to think clearly.  I could argue I’ve never come back, for which I am glad.
• 1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus by Charles Mann.  It is easy to justify slaughtering an indigenous people if you see them as unintelligent savages.  But that was a construct of the colonizers/explorers/invaders.  You’ll be shocked at what America looked like before the white man arrived.
• New York Time 1619 Project  This investigative project looks at the history of slavery in America on the 400th“anniversary” of its arrival on our shores.  It is brilliantly executed and horrifying.
• The Underground Railroad by Colton Whitehead.  You know those books that are so well written that you keep reading even when you are so disgusted by what is happening that you want to be sick?  This is that book.
• Tulsa Massacre of 1921  I am also including a link to the Wikipedia page on this event, which also tells more on the attacking aircraft during the massacre.  There also are links on the right side of the page with several other events along this line.
• Minneapolis (White) Race Riots   This was an interesting post by Nora McInerny about 1930s era Minneapolis and the way whites drove blacks out.
• Ex-Felon Voting Rights - If you aren’t sure how this applies, I am including several different sources discussing this issue.  Some of them surround Florida’s Amendment 4 in 2018.  The Amendment was passed by nearly a 2 to 1 margin, yet it still has not been put into practice - as evidenced by it is still being debated and hashed out.  Voter disenfranchisement is a racially motivated technique that has been in place since the Civil War.  It has taken many different forms and this is just another one.  It was a Jim Crow era law where states would create a law against loitering, for example, and make that a felony level crime.  That would mean any unemployed black man who was arrested for standing around, since they couldn’t get a job and had nowhere to go, could be banned from voting for life.  The number of people affected by this issue is staggering, and it could ultimately change the 2020 election.
• The Original 33 in Georgia. These were the first 33 blacks serving in the Georgia state legislature.  They were thrown out, after being elected, then brought back in, then permanently ejected.  One-quarter of them were beaten or killed.  The final one left in 1907, after which no blacks served in the legislature for 55 years.  Again, wikipedia to add more info.
• Blacks in Public Office This is almost a microcosm of racial mindsets in this country.  During Reconstruction, blacks ascended to public office.  They were elected to national and state- level positions and filled many governments roles. By 1913, those numbers had plummeted.  The backlash against the South after the Civil War was strong, but in time the segregationists reclaimed political strength and reinstituted their policies.  Woodrow Wilson, elected in 1912, is more known for his involvement in World War I and failed League of Nations.  He had been president of Princeton and Governor of New Jersey.  He has this image of an intellectual, a devout Presbyterian.  Yet, he was the picture of a good man doing nothing and letting evil to arise.  He didn’t personally segregate government offices, but he let each office decide if they wanted to segregate.  He didn’t allow the federal government to help blacks who were assailed as they migrated north to fill industrial jobs.  He spoke out against lynching, but did nothing to outlaw it.  (The repercussions echo even today.)  He allowed Reconstruction to die and whites to reclaim the governments in the South.  

This list is hardly comprehensive, but it is a place to start.  We have to do something.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a Christian and that my faith is what guides and defines me.  However, I will be the first to say that the Church(capital C means Church Universal - all Christians; little c means individual church) is failing HORRIBLY in this battle.  The Church should be at the very forefront, demanding social change.  It should be leading the charge, embracing all colors.  Go and read 1 John and see what God teaches about LOVE.  It is what defines being a Christian.  Not judgment, criticism, hate, conservatism.  What part of love is shooting a black man because he was looking at a house?  What part of love is defending a police officer for choking out a suspect?  What part of love is trying to find a justification for why someone was killed?  Go read the story of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10.  I know a lot of you have heard of this story or read it.  But it is a great story for today’s situation.  Here’s my version of the story.  A dude gets jacked up by villains.  He is laying there in a big mess.  A pastor walks by and ignores him.  Actually, he crosses over to the other side to avoid him.  Then another minister walks by and does the same thing.  Then a Samaritan comes up.  Now, the Samaritans were hated by the Jewish people.  It wasn’t over something as minor as skin color.  Long ago, some of the Samaritans had collaborated with the Syrians when they occupied Israel.  Even though they were of the same bloodlines, the people of Samaria were labelled unclean by Jews.  This got so ugly that the Jews destroyed the Samaritan temple and the Samaritans defiled the Jewish temple by leaving bones in it.  It was ugly.  This Samaritan dude comes up and helps the injured Jewish man.  (The big twist in today’s setting is that the beat up man would have been white and the helper would have been black.)  Now, the Samaritan didn’t ask the beat up guy if he deserved the beating.  He didn’t say that he needed to review the video to make sure he didn’t do something first before the bandits jumped him.  I mean, maybe the victim had mouthed off.  Maybe he went through the wrong neighborhood.  Maybe he had a criminal history.  Maybe he didn’t do what the bandits asked him to do right away.  The Samaritan didn’t ask questions; he just helped.  Of course, this isn’t a real story.  Yeah, that’s right.  Jesus made it up.  So it wasn’t just some fluke example of someone doing something nice that made it onto YouTube.  “Samaritan finds Jewish mugging victim. You’ll never guess what happens next!”  It was something that Jesus - the person that Christians value the most - made up as an example of how we should act to each other.  We should take care of even our worst enemies.  How much mores should this apply to people who merely have a different amount of pigment?  

Now the religious leaders of that time got irate at the story.  That kind of angry response from religious people has been a theme throughout history, actually.  Just a cursory glance at US History will demonstrate that those who embrace Christianity have usually been the worst at racial understanding.  And, unfortunately, that is still the situation today.  Christianity has become so tangled up in politics that churchgoers find themselves forming logical contortions to defend their support of Donald Trump in the face of overtly racist behavior and statements.  “He is holding up a Bible in front of a church! What a righteous man!”  Don’t be fooled!  That photo-op is not indicative of what that man believes.  The tear-gassing of peaceful protesters so he could take that picture is where he stands.  His flirting and defending of white-supremacists is where he stands.  He calls whites demanding the right to shop and not wear masks and racists violently protesting in Virginia “fine Americans.”  He calls blacks protesting “thugs.”  The 70+ year old man shoved by the cops intentionally fell.  (Reminds me of the police case down in Riviera Beach when I was a kid when the wife claimed her husband fell onto the knife…. over 20 times.)  He is master at muddying the waters.  His behavior is not unlike how focusing on the police minimizes and damages the racism issue.  He says protestors aren’t patriotic.  They are dishonoring the country and the flag.  He says to get those sons of bitches off of the football field.  Let me be perfectly clear: patriotism is not blindly agreeing with everything a country does.  A person does not betray his or her country by protesting inappropriate, illegal, and inexcusable actions that country is doing. I am not dishonoring my father’s military service by calling people to change the way that minorities are treated.  A true patriot demand that the country lives up to the sacrifices made over the decades by its soldiers and citizens.  America is NOT proving it deserves that blood that was shed.  This country that promises freedom, liberty, and happiness to its citizens need to adjust its mindset and behavior to heal this rift, to make things right, to reconcile the races.  I believe this is the most important issue in the nation right now.  I believe it is the most important issue that faces the Church right now.  It is a crack in the foundation of both that is threatening to rip both apart.  The diagnosis has been handed down; we need to work on treatment.  Now.

A Sick Silence

No more games, I'm a change what you call rage

Tear this muthafudgy roof off like two dogs caged

-Eminem 

I admit it is ironic to begin this with an Eminem quote, but it accurately describes how I am feeling this morning. As we all are probably aware, the topic of sexual harassment has been at the forefront of our country’s attention recently. First, we saw the powerful Hollywood magnate Harvey Weinstein taken down by the sheer magnitude of his behavior towards women. Then we saw the rise of the “me too” awareness campaign - as women everywhere tried to show just how widespread this behavior has become.

There have been the expected responses. We have had media outlets seeing an opportunity for clicks, leading to them generating as many tie-in stories as possible. We have seen the contrarians seeing an opportunity or clicks, leading them to throw up their attempts to diminish the validity of the topic. I’m never surprised that some troglodytes emerge from the woodwork at these moments, just to prove there still are backward thinkers around. We also saw the usual mass of people freak out who, up until this particular news broke, were perfectly fine letting Weinstein continue to mow his way through the female population of Hollywood. That is always amusing and annoying - celebrities tripping over themselves to condemn a person that most of them knew was doing something wrong.

This whole song and dance is so common, and such an easy red herring. People love jumping all over the (mostly) liberal celebrities who now must express outrage at a big-time Democratic donor. We see posts and blogs and tweets shooting at how both sides handled it. The battle builds so much that it is easy to forget WHAT exactly the argument was about. You know, like the whole National Anthem kneeling fight. The saddest part of that whole kerfuffle is that the extremely important issue that started the protests (systematic racial discrimination and mistreatment) is completely ignored.

Well I am not going to let that happen. The issue is out there, so let’s deal with it. There have been some really thoughtful pieces out there on the topic of sexual harassment in the last few days, and I don’t pretend to bring anything revolutionary to the table. But I’ve been trying to be more consistent in voicing it when my righteous anger is stoked. This offering doesn’t get any clever allegories or poems. It is about as straightforward as can be.

The status quo in this country is that women are routinely marginalized, harassed, and demeaned. They make less money. They have more difficulty climbing the work ladder. They consistently have to deal with guys who believe it is in their rights, as men, to say and do whatever they want to women. These men are protected by their status in their company, church, community. Women have gotten to where they feel they have to just accept this as the way things are. And the only time something is done about it is when things are grievously out of proportion to “the norm.” I have no doubt that Harvey Weinstein would still hold his position if it were not for the sheer volume of accusers. Even still, the more extreme accusations are met with some doubt. Rose McGowen’s claim that Weinstein raped her was uncomfortably ignored or refuted in favor of more exciting names on lists.

This is WRONG. The “good old boys’ club” mentality is wrong. The “dirty old man” mindset is wrong. The “scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” exchange is wrong. The “how far will you go to get the job” question is wrong. The “little bit of humor” excuse is wrong. The “she was asking for it” defense is wrong. It is all wrong. It was wrong back then; it is wrong now.

Of the Highest Value

It is wrong that my thirteen year old daughter had to sit in her health class last year as the teacher taught the girls what to do to avoid rape and never even mentioned to the boys to, you know, not rape people. It is wrong that she was ridiculed and attacked for speaking up about that unfair standard.

It is wrong for my brilliant wife to have to be talked down to by male doctors just because she is a woman. It is wrong that when she walks into a patient room she is assumed to be a nurse. It is wrong that patient’s father’s say how cute the female doctors are. It is wrong that she will make less money because of her gender.

It is wrong that my female coworkers have to consistently deal with high school and college boys hitting on them during classes and events online. It is wrong that these boys think they have to right to write sexual comments to them, just because they are women.

It is wrong that women are taken advantage of at car dealerships and repair shops. It is wrong that attractive women are treated differently than other women.

It is wrong that females in journalism - especially sports journalism - have to not only prove their skills and knowledge, but also show off their legs, cleavage, rear ends, and voluminous hair. It is wrong that still after all of that, they still have to hear how cute and funny it is to hear a woman talking about pass patterns.

It is wrong that a woman wanting to break into movies or music or the entertainment industry in general has to at some point take her clothes off to get a job or advance her career or be taken seriously.

It is wrong that women are not believed when they tell people about this harassment. It is wrong their character and clothing and choices come into question instead of the person who really did something wrong. It is wrong that women know that it is so difficult to actually get anything done on this front that they don’t even bother. It is wrong that this is so prevalent that I would be hard pressed to find a single woman who could say “not me” instead of “me too.”

I would hope that we all can agree that this is wrong. I would hope. People do not deserve to be treated this way. Women do not deserve to be treated this way. This is something that should be universally fought against - something we can all agree on for once. Which is what makes this next part so painful to me.

There has been one group that has been largely silent through this, one disgustingly and disturbingly quiet group. That would be Christians, especially men. I have seen only a smattering of Christian men standing up and joining in the chorus of those crying out, “This is WRONG!” There have not been a series of tweets from Christian leaders decrying this behavior. Did Franklin Graham echo the sentiments of how women should be treated better? No. But he did use his twitter account to again promote Donald Trump - another ADMITTED sexual harasser. What about the former reverend and governor Mike Huckabee? Did he use his status to stand up for women? No. But he did make a completely classless joke via Twitter about Harvey Weinstein piloting Flight 666 the other day. You don’t like the most traditional elements? What about Joel Osteen? Did he speak out? No. Steven Furtick? No. Matt Chandler? He talked about domestic violence, so he gets a half point. Tony Evans? David Jeremiah? Chuck Swindoll? Charles Stanley? Andy Stanley? Craig Groeschel?  No. Let that soak in for a minute.

I’m guessing some of you are pretty uncomfortable right now. Some of you are probably pissed off at me that I am pointing this out. Don’t give in to the temptation to attack the messenger. Think about it. Why is this the case? Why would all of these church leaders who have such a massive influence over the evangelical masses in America not take a stand on this? Why would so many Christians follow their example and stay conspicuously silent? These are very very uncomfortable questions and the answers are even worse. These are the answers I came up with. And none of them are pretty.

1. They don’t believe this is actually happening. Sadly, I think there is a potential for this to be somewhat true. I used to go around to churches and talk to them about internet safety and purity and I’ve had church leaders tell me to my face that there isn’t a problem at their church - an hour after a different leader told me about multiple incidents that happened THAT week. The Church has been known to jam its head into the sand on issues. But I find it very difficult to believe that as a whole the Church doesn’t believe this is happening. And IF this is actually true, then things are much worse than anyone could imagine. 
2. This is traditionally a liberal/Democratic issue and something they don’t want to align with. I think there is a lot of truth to this. Having spend as long in the Church as I have, I have seen many issues that were discarded because they were promoted by the wrong party. We live in such a divisive society right now that people feel they have to take stands based on party affiliation. The big problem, to me and a lot of other Christians, is that it isn’t so simple any more. There are issues that I care about on both sides of the aisle. And this is one of them. To reject an issue just because it is from a donkey instead of an elephant is unacceptable. 
3. This strikes to close to home to the biblical patriarchy, male leadership, and biblical roles of manhood and womanhood. Personally, I think that this carries a lot of weight with a lot of people. They are concerned that taking too strong of a stand on the issues of female objectification and sexual harassment could lead to attacks on the entire issue. Ok. I can see that there would be concern there. But does that mean we continue to stay silent on a very disturbing issue? This has been a major issue for the Church for a long time - from Copernicus to slavery to tax reform. If Christians are truly supposed to be promoting the tenants of restoration and unconditional love and grace, how can they turn a blind eye to an entire GENDER being marginalized and debased? In addition, being a leader doesn’t mean being a pig. A man does not have the right to act in this manner regardless of his status. Isn’t that the very thing brought to light by the Weinstein incidents? A man in authority using his authority to demean others. There you go. If you want to be a leader, men, you should be the FIRST to lead the way on this attack. Show your sons the right way. Lead society away from this behavior. 
4. They don’t want to pull on this string because they know it will be disastrous. I have a queasy feeling that this plays too much of a role in why there has not been a wider Churchwide response.  As we are already seeing, this snowball is turning into an avalanche in the entertainment community.  An Amazon Studios exec has been fired due to his sexual harassment issue.  More and more stars are coming out and talking about what happened to them by people not named “Weinstein.”  Heads are going to roll on this. You can’t take a stand on something like this and then not do a thorough examination of your own house as well.  What would that show? I am quite confident that there are a massive number of stories that could flood out from churches where this kind of behavior was the norm. But, I think this goes even further than just the fear of pastors losing their jobs.  I think it goes right to the very top. A very large number of evangelicals threw their lot in with a professed sexual harasser.  I don’t think you need me to remind you of the multiple quotes from President Trump over the years that indicated that he practiced this kind of behavior. What happens if the Church takes a stand against this? How can they say this behavior is unacceptable and then turn around and support someone who practices it?  Things can unravel quickly.
5. They don’t think that there is anything wrong with what is going on. Of all of the reasons, this is the most stomach-churning, but the one I am the most confident actually contributes to at least some of the stonewalling going on. I would be willing to guarantee that in churches across the country, there are members who are sitting there saying, “Look at how sensitive people are. Back in the old days, this was just normal behavior. Women knew that this was just guys being guys. They didn’t get offended by it.” This guys may be deacons or prominent church members or even staff members. It is the same truth associated with why churches have been hesitant to speak out about racial equality, to speak out against white supremacy.  The ugly truth of the situation is that there are too many racists, too many misogynists sitting in church pews for the Church as a whole to take a stand against behavior like this. It is a horrible reason, but one that I know exists. I know because I have heard it in churches since I was small. I have seen it happen as long as I’ve been in church.  

I know that some people will be furious at what I am saying here. They will say that this is not the venue to air these grievances. They will say that I have no right to attack the Church like this. To that, I say that this is the perfect time to address this.  Let’s shine a white hot spotlight into the dark corners of the Church. I am not attacking the Church out of hate; it is out of love. I want this behavior eradicated. I want the people who claim to follow Christ to actually look like Him. What did Christ look like? How did He treat women? He was revolutionary in his treatment of women. In a culture where women were seen as property, He gave them value as a person. In a time when women were ordered around, He spoke gently and kindly. In a world where women had little hope, He gave them a vision of a place where they would stand tall. Don’t you DARE tell me that Jesus would look at the way women are treated in this world, by our churches, by our men, and nod in satisfaction.  “Yes. This is exactly what I envisioned.” That is not the message of Jesus Christ.  I am ashamed of the fact that the Church has turned a blind eye to people who need it the most. I am disgusted that the quietest group of all should be the ones leading the way. I am sick over the silence that shows that the Church is more of the problem than the answer.

1 Kings 17

I am a smart and educated man who lives in the 21st century.  I embrace technology and understand the basics of science and acknowledge its validity.  I have been in many sermons and Bible studies over the years that have taught that the Age of Miracles is largely over.  God doesn't work that way any more.  And many of the things we believed were miracles in the past probably were just misunderstood phenomena.  (I don't buy the complete validity of that last point.  I don't care how much science you know, there are some happenings in the Bible that can't be figured out academically.)  In fact, our modern society has kind of come to the place where we explain away many awe inspiring acts.  Fire from Heaven was probably lightning.  Jesus walked across a sandbar, not the water.  Jericho was destroyed by an earthquake.  We've gotten to the point where we brush away anything unexplainable - and certainly anything like that fits that bill that happens today.

But still, there are those things that just don't make sense.  Lately, the passage of 1 Kings 17 has been coming to mind quite frequently.  The Campbell's condensed soup version is as follows.  There was a famine and drought wrecking havoc over in Israel.  Elijah, God's prophet, was getting his water from a brook and food from ravens who brought it to him.  (Weird happening #1)  After that dried up, he went and visited a widow and her son.  He asked her to make him some bread.  Since he was the well known prophet of God, she wanted to do this - and would ordinarily have jumped at the chance.  But the fact was that she only had enough oil and flour to make one cake for her and her son to eat and then die.  Elijah told her to go ahead and make him a cake first and that God would not let the flour or oil run out until rain returned to the land.  The lady made the cake.  The stuff never ran out.

Now, it never says that the lady suddenly had buckets of oil and flour.  (That happens with Elisha in 2 Kings 4 and a DIFFERENT widow.)  Instead, it appears that she always had just what she needed.  It reminds me of the story of the Israelites and the manna in the wilderness.  They had enough to eat each day.  If they hoarded too much, it went bad.  God told them to take what they needed and that was it.  It forced them - and the widow - to rely on God EACH DAY for their provision.  They didn't save.  They didn't store.  They got and used and did the same the next day.  (What would Dave Ramsey say about THAT mentality?  No six months in savings?!?!  AAACCKKK!  I kid, I kid.)

That brings me to why I have been thinking about this passage.  In our current phase of life, finances are a constant source of struggle.  Heather goes to Med School.  I stay home with the kids.  My income opportunities are limited, due to that schedule.  I earn money here and there from speaking engagements, curriculum sales, random graphic design work, and from Defender Ministries - when we have donations enough to generate some salary.  So I'm hit and miss.  Heather gets loans to cover expenses three times a year.  So here is the way we deal with our budget.  Have enough for three months, panic for three months, have enough for four and a half months, panic for one and a half months.  It is awesome.  We are in the midst of a panic stretch.  And, to make that panic burst even more enjoyable, we HAVE TO move back to Orlando in June.  FSU runs years three and four through satellite locations and we were assigned to Orlando.  So we have to be there by June 29 for Heather to start her rotations.  Which means security deposits, start up costs, moving truck, blah blah blah.

To explain how this panic feels, I use this illustration.  Imagine that you are driving your minivan (or SUV) as fast as you can down the road with your family inside.  This represents your financial wherewithal.  As you race down this road (unable to go slower because the world slows down for no one), you are approaching a wall.  That is the point where your money runs out and your bills come due.  As the month goes along, you get closer and closer to the wall.  You try everything you can to fix the situation, but it comes down to the fact you are going to crash.  So you kind of brace for impact and pray like crazy that something happens.  Sounds fun, right?

Well, this is how it goes.  We race towards the wall and I prepare to crash.  And then, right before the end of the month, somehow we get enough to make it into another month.  A family member gives us money (God bless those family members - they know who they are).  Defender gets a big donation.  A church buys a big chunk of curriculum.  Something happens.  It doesn't make the wall disappear, but it pushes it back about 500 yards.  So we can relax for a couple weeks before the panic sets in again.  Now, I don't really like living this way.  My prayer is usually that we hit a point where the wall is gone and we are able to drive without the panic bursts.  Actually, my prayer is actually that we are able to do that and then help the other people in panic mode all around us.  But that - for now - doesn't seem to happen.  I know some day it will, just by the fact that my wife is going to be a doctor in a few years.  But, for this time period, the wall just slides backwards a bit.

We're in panic mode now.  It started with the arrival of April - when the latest resources ran out.  We got through that through someone's generosity.  Now May is looming - and it seems like the wall is even bigger.  The move combined with the normal bills means the wall got thicker and taller.  So the panic is more intense and overwhelming.  Through it all, I am trying like crazy to trust that God is going to provide.  But I can't see how.  Libya doesn't look promising (look to this post for why that matters).  There haven't been any mysterious envelopes in our mailbox.  The economy didn't get healthy overnight.  In fact, gas now is almost $4 a gallon down here - making the situation WORSE.

God has been trying to show me something through all of this, but I have been hesitant to believe it.  So He keeps trying.  But, remember, I'm an intelligent modern Christian with a healthy skepticism of miracles.  So I doubt.  And He keeps trying.

1. THE SHAMPOO - I have a bottle of Axe men's dandruff shampoo in the shower.  Two weeks ago, I noticed it is running out.  With shampoo, I let it run down to about two or three days worth left and get a new bottle - usually something for men with dandruff.  Of course, on sale.  Two weeks ago, I bought a new bottle at Target.  The thing is, my Axe still hasn't run out.  And, truth be told, it still is as full as when I bought the new bottle.  Every day, I grab it and say, "Why is this so full?"  Then the widow's oil goes through my head.  And I push it away, thinking that is ridiculous and God doesn't miraculously replace shampoo.
2. RAZOR BLADES - I have very sensitive face skin.  I've been shaving for over twenty years and I still can easily cut myself and bleed out.  I have tried everything.  I even have cut myself with an electric Braun razor.  Don't ask me how; I don't know.  This is why I almost always look unshaven.  I shave three time a week, if I need to look presentable - once if I don't.  To avoid blood loss and the inevitable transfusions, I have to use the fancy expensive blades.  Anything else makes me look like I lost a knife fight.  Well, I'm out.  The three blades I have in the shower all have lost most of their lubricant strip - showing the yellow warning strip beneath.  This translates to, "GO GET NEW BLADES, SUCKER, OR YOU WILL BE SHAVING WITH THE EQUIVALENT OF A RUSTY MACHETE!"  Well, I can't justify spending the money on the new blades.  A month ago, I told Heather that I needed blades.  When I shaved on Saturday, I noticed that the green strip hadn't decreased any from the last time I used it.  In fact, it looked the same as it has for the last month.  Then the widow's flour went through my head.  And I pushed it away, thinking it crazy and God doesn't miraculously replace razor lubricant strips.
3. PRESCRIPTIONS - Thanks to my rheumatoid arthritis, I am one of the many Americans experiencing better living through chemistry.  I use two medicines to treat my RA (plaquanel and mobic) and two medicines to treat the side effects of my prescriptions (Zegerid for reflux and Zyrtec for allergies).  Originally, I was on Nexium for reflux, but it was $40 WITH the insurance copay.  Last month our stellar (read: dogmeat) student insurance plan told me they would not cover my prescriptions any more.  I only have $350 of coverage a year - so I'm on my own until August.  That meant my $3.75, $9, and $40 payments would balloon to $9, $35, and $177.  I ditched Nexium for Zegerid - which was only $22 a month.  And I found Zyrtec at Costco for $15 A YEAR.  But I knew that my prescriptions this month would be $45.  Target was running a deal where if you transferred your prescriptions they would give you a $10 gift card.  I sent both of mine over there and went to pick them up.  When I paid, it was $13.  I questioned this and explained that the insurance had said I had used up my coverage.  But the pharmacist assured me it was right.  It was $13 - and I got $20 in Target gift cards.  This was the third time that something that was supposed to have been used up had somehow refilled itself.  This time, I didn't push the thought away.

I began to realize that God was trying to show me that He isn't necessarily going to move the wall away. It may just be Him pushing it back.  But that still is provision.  God is still answering prayers.  It isn't how we want it.  But it is teaching me to continually trust on His provision.  Today, I also found out that we got a pretty large donation to Defender.  It wasn't "The Big One" - but it was larger than we usually get.  That meant that I was getting a check.  My first thought was, "AWESOME!"  That was followed by, "It isn't enough to cover the whole month of May."  But I stopped and thought about it.  It was enough to make sure we could secure a place in Orlando - and cover most of our bills and expenses until mid-May.  And that pushed the wall back again.

It is a continual challenge.  No one likes living with the constant fear of impending destruction.  I would wager that most people reading this can understand that feeling.  I don't know too many people who never have financial concerns or hardships.  I have found that one of my lessons through this is to be grateful for God's provision - whatever amount it is, whoever it comes from, however long it lasts.  Sometimes He doesn't want us to have too much because it will be too easy to forget Who is behind meeting our needs.  It is good to stop and think about the fact that God is still the One who is in control of resources - even things as small as shampoo, razor blades, and prescriptions.  And certainly in large things like rent and moving expenses.

Beloved

Last Sunday we were down in Orlando and attended our old church.  It was great to be able to see our friends from before the Tallahassee relocation.  And I also enjoyed being in the service.  It is a different style of preaching and worship than what we experience up here every Sunday.  Sometimes it is good to go to a different church every so often - it kind of jars you out of complacency.

Anyway, during the sermon, Pastor Byron was talking about The Transfiguration story from Matthew 17 (and Mark 9 and Luke 9).  The story itself wasn't what hit me.  During the story at one point, God speaks down from Heaven and says, "This is my beloved Son..."  Byron went on to explain that beloved means "priceless and unique."  When he said that, I started thinking about that word.

My name means "Beloved of God."  I like my name - always have.  I know some kids imagine changing their name.  But I like my name.  I don't like shortening it to Dave or anything.  I think part of that is the association with King David in the Bible - one of my favorite characters.  And part of it is that I learned what my name meant very early on in life.  When your name means something like "beloved of God," it is hard to think it needs changed.  I mean, can you get better than that?  I can understand if your name meant something dumb.  But I like my meaning.

Hearing that beloved means priceless and unique, really struck home.  I am priceless to God.  I am unique to Him.  I started thinking.  Over the years in the church, I have heard so many sermons and lessons about how we are these small weak things.  Pastors almost go over the top to establish the fact that we are pathetic.  We have nothing worthwhile to offer.  We are almost like scum.  God's bigness is talked about a lot - from Francis Chan to Louie Giglio.  In addition, God doesn't need us.  He will see His plan realized with our without us.

There is truth in this.  Paul calls us worms and talks about how our goodness is like wound wrappings.  But that doesn't really take into account how God treats us.  Look at Creation.  God doesn't lump people in with everything else - just another cog in the universe.  We are special.  We are the only creature that God wanted to have a relationship with.  We are the only ones Christ died for.  God does see us as priceless and special.  He loves us and desires to be with us.  Isn't that amazing?

I know there are some people who have trouble believing in God.  I never really have.  I mena, just look around.  It is pretty hard to believe that this incredible world just randomly popped up.  The reality of God, to me, is not a hard concept.  The thing that really is hard to wrap my mind around is the fact that this Creator of the Universe, this huge massive God, wants me to spend time with Him.  He wants me to talk to Him and pray to Him and sing songs to Him.  That is just bizarre.

Take President Obama.  I don't give a warbling hoot what you feel politically, if the President were to call you, it would blow your mind.  Now imagine this President kept on calling you, emailing you, sending you presents.  The "leader of the free world" wants to spend time with you - just some random person.  Things like that just don't happen.  God wanting to do that is even more unbelievable.  But that is exactly what He does.

He sees me as priceless and unique.  Yes, there are other people with similar skill sets and personalities.  But there is no one else exactly like me.  My combination of talents, gifts, passions, dislikes, experiences, opinions, friends, history, family, decisions make me completely different than anyone on this planet.  My wife and I are very close.  We spend a ton of time together and have more than ten years of marriage in our history.  But look at how different we are.  I mean, we only have 269 friends in common on Facebook.  That's a lot, but that means we both have almost 400 people different.  Even twins have a long list of things that make them different - even if the only difference was their own perspective on shared history.

God made me for a unique purpose.  He has a relationship with me.  I'm not some worthless weasel that has ingratiated himself to a ruler.  He chased me.  He called me.  He wants to work with me and use me. And He made me in such a way that I will have an impact on my world that no one else can have.  I am His beloved - his priceless and unique one.

I don't know about you, but there are definitely days when that thought makes all the difference.  You may have an exciting life with high stakes meetings and million dollar negotiations.  But for right now, most of my days are spent trying to manage three kids in tiny apartment and not get overrun with dishes, toys, and laundry - all while staying sane and controlled.  That is hardly something that would draw the attention of a big shot, let alone God.  To know that even in this place in life, when it is easy to feel useless and alone, God Himself looks down and sees me as a priceless and unique part of His heart.  That's one heck of a name to have.

But What If He Doesn't?

There is a common teaching we see on television and in the movies.  The good guys win.  The bad guys lose.  Even when things appear hopeless, the good guys always get a last minute reprieve.  There is a fortuitous truck to hit the bad guy.  A mystery check arrives just in time.  The villains make a fatal miscalculation due to arrogance.  Some past good deed causes someone to act valiantly in thanks.  Good things happen to good people.  Bad things happen to bad people.  Dragons are vanquished and the hero rides off into the sunset with the beautiful woman and all is right in the world.

There is also a line of teaching that goes on in most churches.  We are taught that we want to be in the center of God's will.  We want to be doing exactly what He wants us to do - rejecting our own selfish and petty desires to pursue what He has planned for us.  This is the safest place to be.  When you wander from God's will and path, then He has to discipline you.  After all, he disciplines those he loves.  So the church sets up this very clear delineation.  If you do what is right - if you tithe and serve and pray for the missionaries and stand up for God at work, you get rewarded.  You are safe and provided for.  If you do what is wrong - if you are stingy with God and don't pray or read your Bible and pick jobs just because of the money, then you get smacked around.

I think that it comes from trying to encourage the membership to allow God to lead them.  Many Christians make their life choices without any thought as to what God feels - or what He may desire for them and their lives.  So, the church tries to defeat that mindset by teaching how we should follow God and obey Him.  It may be scary.  It may be costly.  But God will always provide and reward us for our faithfulness.

This teaching crops up all over the place.  A church may tells its members that they need to tithe their 10% to the church.  That may hurt them financially, but God will reward them for their giving.  And, if they are struggling financially, it probably is because they are withholding money from God.  Another way we see this is when a church teaching stories like Gideon and Job - emphasizing how God delivers and restores when the people are faithful.  (Extreme versions of this are called Prosperity Doctrine or Name It and Claim It.)  It can be a very encouraging thought.  If we do what we should do, then God will reward us.  This could come through financial stability or promotions or good health or getting a spouse.  Faithfulness equals reward.  That's what is taught.  It may be at the last minute - like the orphans waiting for food when the delivery man comes to the door.  But it will happen.  We just need to close our eyes and jump, and God will be there with a safety net.  There is even the song "Saved the Day," where God is portrayed as a rescuing hero - swooping in at the last minute to rescue everyone.

But, what if He doesn't?

This is one of the toughest questions I have had to face in my Christian walk.  What about if God does NOT come and save the day?  What if He doesn't ride over the ridge to help fight off the army of orcs?  What if He doesn't come swooping in on some screeching creature of vengeance to destroy the evil conspirators?  What if we go broke, lose our job, get sick?  Does that mean He is any less God?  Does that automatically mean that we were doing something wrong?

That is one of the dangers of the lines of teaching mentioned earlier.  We begin to believe that if we are doing the right thing we should be insulated from problems.  And if there are problems, we must be doing something wrong.  And, worse still, we apply that guide when looking at other people.  If they are suffering they must be out of God's will.  This is where you get to the point that you can actually blame the people of New Orleans for the flooding of Katrina by saying, "They are a sinful city so God punished them."  [I hate to break it to you, we ALL live in sinful cities.  If that theory is right, we're all screwed.]

This teaching is NOT Biblical.  Look at the people God help up as examples in the Bible.  They were taken out behind the toolshed and beaten MMA style.  Are you going to tell me that the Apostles were in the wrong?  Their murders were the result of their sin?  Didn't we see this was disproved in the story of Job that this mindset was wrong?  Job's friends accused him of everything and he hadn't done anything.  Even Jesus argued with this belief when his Disciples asked who had sinned - the crippled man or his parents.  Jesus responded that neither had.

The fact of the matter is that God does NOT always come to the rescue and fix everything.  There are times when He wants His people to go through a situation that is less than pleasant.  It may be to grow them or teach them.  It may be to teach other people.  It may be that if they got what they wanted they would turn from God.  Whatever the reason, God chooses many times to not answer "Yes" to a plea for help.  And following God does NOT mean you are wearing an invisible shield.  In fact, following God may put you into more danger than not following Him.  My good friend, David Tarkington, preached a sermon last Sunday called "In the Center of God's Will Is the Safest Place to Be?"  He got into the fact that it isn't safe.  This is something I have always said too - it can be the most dangerous place in the world.

Look at the missionaries who have been killed over the years.  Look at the Christians in other countries who are mistreated for their faith.  What have they done wrong?  What about the people here in America who have been ridiculed and passed over for jobs and fired and worse?  Please tell me what they did wrong.  That is the inherent problem with the aforementioned lessons.  You cannot have it both ways.  If it is true that God is always going to reward for obedience, then a lack of reward implies disobedience.

There are tons of dangers to this teaching.  It is running rampant in some of the more destitute areas of the world.  Missionaries are going into poor regions teaching that following God brings reward.  The people there are so desperate for some relief from their struggles that they jump at this.  What happens when they don't see the promised benefits?  Another problem is that we then begin to view people with much as better than those with little.  Churches love it when a wealthy person begins attending their church.  They usually quickly scale into leadership positions (deacons, trustees, committee chairs).  This is done without as much regard to their spiritual state - or it their portfolio is enough proof.  Pastors of large churches are seen as more worthy than pastors of small churches.  They always get elected to national offices.  They get asked to preach at events.  And the pastor of the smaller church is seen as needing to move up - or as trapped there.  (This is despite the fact that many ministers at large churches are actually pretty horrible people to be around.)

New Christians are often sold a bill of goods when they are led to Christ, or brought into a church.  They hear that all their problems are over.  God is going to heal every wound, end every addiction, pay every bill, rescue every person.  However, that is not always true.  And when they realize that, they are disillusioned.  Or they feel they were lied to.  Sometimes they feel they must be doing something wrong. As a result, their walk with God begins with a handicap.  It is a dangerous and false teaching.  And it gives people an incorrect view of God.  They misunderstand His motives and His plan.

Yes, God can come through with a miraculous rescue.  He can provide.  He can bring money and jobs and healing.  He can remove enemies and open doors.  He can do truly amazing things.  But, just because He CAN, does not mean He HAS TO, and it does not mean He WILL.  And that doesn't mean that God is bad or we are doing anything wrong.  In fact, it may mean that we are precisely where we are supposed to be.  Which can be a pretty tough message to swallow.