1. HE IS SURPRISINGFrom when we first found out about his impending arrival, Gabe has been a surprise. We thought we were done with our family. One boy, one girl. Everyone was potty trained. It was time to get going on the next phase of life. SURPRISE! Here's Gabe! From that point, he has kept surprising us. Kids one and two took after me: dark hair, dark eyes, tallish. Gabe popped out with blond hair, green eyes, and a shorter stature. SURPRISE! As he has gotten older, he hasn't ceased to surprise us. The other day, he was playing Minecraft on his computer and wanted to install a texture pack. (I don't know what it is either; just follow me here) I was in the middle of something, so I told him he would have a to wait a few minutes. "Oh I know how to do that." SURPRISE! Sure enough, he came running back in a little later. "It worked. Thanks." Yep. He downloaded and installed a texture pack into a folder that it took me a good half hour to locate when I was installing some stuff for him. The things he can do on an iPad would impress an Apple Store worker. He has a mechanical and technical mind. Oh, and math? This kid has always just had a knack for math. When he was SEVEN, he heard me talking to one of my Kaplan classes and said, "I've always wondered what X meant." So I explained some rudimentary algebra. He nods and says, "Ahh that makes sense." Then he punched out several examples. SURPRISE! It is like watching a flower bloom and then bloom again and again - creating something very surprising and intriguing.
2. HE HAS A SWEET TOOTH
Most kids love sweets. Gabe is not most kids. Most kids are amateurs when it comes to competing with Gabe about sweets. He will weasel his way into a shake or a smoothie or slushie at any restaurant that has them. It used to be, "Well he probably won't even eat his dinner. So it is cheaper for him to just get a shake." Or, "Well he doesn't really like soda, so it should be okay." Now it is just that he wants the shake. He can consume a shocking amount of candy - and he always goes for the bag that has the most. There have been times when we are getting road trip candy where he will stand there for ten minutes, trying to decide what to get based on which bag is bigger. Then he will say, "I really want to get Skittles, but there is more in this Starburst bag. Dad, if I get the smaller Skittles, can I get two things?" Next thing I know, he has his own stash of candy in the car - which he WILL eat before we get where we are going. AND then he will ask Josiah for some of his because "mine is all gone." Ice cream, popsicles, cookies, cake, pie, hot chocolate. Gabe loves all of them. It is a good thing he didn't get my metabolism, or he would be in bad shape. (A circle. HAHA. Bad shape - circle? Get it? Never mind.) It is funny how different the kids are with their candy too. So Gabe will eat all of his Christmas/Easter/Halloween candy as fast as you'll let him. It may last a couple of days. Josiah is a candy hoarder. He eats a little of it, then figures he will stretch it out. The problem is that he forgets it is there and it ends up sitting around for months. Natalie will hide hers in her room like a squirrel and then it is just gone one day. I have no idea how long it takes her to eat it. So Gabe will wolf his down, and then go hunting for more. Where will he find it? In Josiah's stash. He isn't dumb, that Gabers.
3. HE HAS IMMENSE COMPASSION
Gabe is like every other ten year old. He still is understanding how he should relate to other people in this world and a lot of the time he has a very self-centric view of life. But, there are times when I am stunned at how much compassion he has for people. The flood here in Texas, the one in Florida, the one in Puerto Rico? They have been very hard on this little guy. He doesn't like the thought of people he knows (and doesn't know) suffering. He was extremely distraught when he thought his cousin Toby down in Florida was in danger from Hurricane Irma. This has been a characteristic of his from when he was young. When he sees someone on the side of the road asking for money, he wants us to help them. If he sees a dog outside that doesn't appear to have an owner, he is completely beside himself with worry that it will get hurt. If someone does get hurt or sick, he worries about them and wants to be near them. Perhaps this is even more apparent to me due to how he has handled my Rheumatoid Arthritis. When I am having a hard go of things, Gabe doesn't like it. He doesn't want me to have to do things that will "hurt" me. I've seen him crying when I'm in pain because he doesn't want me to be hurting. If I am disciplining one of the other kids (or the dogs), Gabe is very loudly interjecting himself into the situation trying to stop me. He gets angry when someone is perceived to have wronged Josiah or Natalie (or Heather and me). All of my kids have a strong sense of (what they interpret as) justice. It is truly one of Gabe's most noticeable qualities.
4. HE IS OUR AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR
Gabe has always liked to flip, run, and jump around. Back after I had first started staying home with the kids, Gabe was a finky not-quite-two-year-old. He would bounce on the couch, and I would tell him to stop. One time, he bounced too far and smashed his mouth on the end table, slamming his teeth into his lip. AAAAAAGH!!!!! I freaked out. He was screaming and I was terrified. Heather was in Med School and unreachable by phone. In his young life, he has had more eggs on his head, cuts, bruises, and bumps than the other two combined. It isn't klutziness as much as just playing hard. But he doesn't shy from it. Instead, he keeps on going and trying new things. For a year now, Gabe has been taking karate. He loves it and is really good at it. He's up to green belt and loves going to class. I love seeing him in this completely foreign element and succeed. His teacher loves him and uses him for examples a lot because Gabe is so serious about learning it. "Let's have Mr Gabe come up here to help me demonstrate this." Then the teacher punches Gabe in the face a few times with a new move the kids are learning. Then Gabe doesn't let him keep punching him. He just laughs and starts blocking the punches. The parents will be out in the lobby grimacing and going "oooohhhhhh" on some of the pops. Gabe just grins, adjusts his mask, and takes his stance again. As a hopelessly unathletic and klutzy lummox, I appreciate his willingness to be so active time and again.
8. HE IS SMART ... AND DOESN'T LET IT DEFINE HIM
Most kids love sweets. Gabe is not most kids. Most kids are amateurs when it comes to competing with Gabe about sweets. He will weasel his way into a shake or a smoothie or slushie at any restaurant that has them. It used to be, "Well he probably won't even eat his dinner. So it is cheaper for him to just get a shake." Or, "Well he doesn't really like soda, so it should be okay." Now it is just that he wants the shake. He can consume a shocking amount of candy - and he always goes for the bag that has the most. There have been times when we are getting road trip candy where he will stand there for ten minutes, trying to decide what to get based on which bag is bigger. Then he will say, "I really want to get Skittles, but there is more in this Starburst bag. Dad, if I get the smaller Skittles, can I get two things?" Next thing I know, he has his own stash of candy in the car - which he WILL eat before we get where we are going. AND then he will ask Josiah for some of his because "mine is all gone." Ice cream, popsicles, cookies, cake, pie, hot chocolate. Gabe loves all of them. It is a good thing he didn't get my metabolism, or he would be in bad shape. (A circle. HAHA. Bad shape - circle? Get it? Never mind.) It is funny how different the kids are with their candy too. So Gabe will eat all of his Christmas/Easter/Halloween candy as fast as you'll let him. It may last a couple of days. Josiah is a candy hoarder. He eats a little of it, then figures he will stretch it out. The problem is that he forgets it is there and it ends up sitting around for months. Natalie will hide hers in her room like a squirrel and then it is just gone one day. I have no idea how long it takes her to eat it. So Gabe will wolf his down, and then go hunting for more. Where will he find it? In Josiah's stash. He isn't dumb, that Gabers.
3. HE HAS IMMENSE COMPASSION
Gabe is like every other ten year old. He still is understanding how he should relate to other people in this world and a lot of the time he has a very self-centric view of life. But, there are times when I am stunned at how much compassion he has for people. The flood here in Texas, the one in Florida, the one in Puerto Rico? They have been very hard on this little guy. He doesn't like the thought of people he knows (and doesn't know) suffering. He was extremely distraught when he thought his cousin Toby down in Florida was in danger from Hurricane Irma. This has been a characteristic of his from when he was young. When he sees someone on the side of the road asking for money, he wants us to help them. If he sees a dog outside that doesn't appear to have an owner, he is completely beside himself with worry that it will get hurt. If someone does get hurt or sick, he worries about them and wants to be near them. Perhaps this is even more apparent to me due to how he has handled my Rheumatoid Arthritis. When I am having a hard go of things, Gabe doesn't like it. He doesn't want me to have to do things that will "hurt" me. I've seen him crying when I'm in pain because he doesn't want me to be hurting. If I am disciplining one of the other kids (or the dogs), Gabe is very loudly interjecting himself into the situation trying to stop me. He gets angry when someone is perceived to have wronged Josiah or Natalie (or Heather and me). All of my kids have a strong sense of (what they interpret as) justice. It is truly one of Gabe's most noticeable qualities.
4. HE IS OUR AMERICAN NINJA WARRIORGabe has always liked to flip, run, and jump around. Back after I had first started staying home with the kids, Gabe was a finky not-quite-two-year-old. He would bounce on the couch, and I would tell him to stop. One time, he bounced too far and smashed his mouth on the end table, slamming his teeth into his lip. AAAAAAGH!!!!! I freaked out. He was screaming and I was terrified. Heather was in Med School and unreachable by phone. In his young life, he has had more eggs on his head, cuts, bruises, and bumps than the other two combined. It isn't klutziness as much as just playing hard. But he doesn't shy from it. Instead, he keeps on going and trying new things. For a year now, Gabe has been taking karate. He loves it and is really good at it. He's up to green belt and loves going to class. I love seeing him in this completely foreign element and succeed. His teacher loves him and uses him for examples a lot because Gabe is so serious about learning it. "Let's have Mr Gabe come up here to help me demonstrate this." Then the teacher punches Gabe in the face a few times with a new move the kids are learning. Then Gabe doesn't let him keep punching him. He just laughs and starts blocking the punches. The parents will be out in the lobby grimacing and going "oooohhhhhh" on some of the pops. Gabe just grins, adjusts his mask, and takes his stance again. As a hopelessly unathletic and klutzy lummox, I appreciate his willingness to be so active time and again.
5. HE DOESN'T OPEN UP EASILY...
People have always wanted Gabe to talk to them; Gabe has not always wanted to talk to them. They have gotten frustrated with him and thought he was being rude or was shy. They'll say, "He's a quiet kid." Heather and I look at each other and roll our eyes. Gabe is NOT quiet. He has NO problem talking and talking and talking. But you have to earn that. I remember when my mom first understood this. She was frustrated that he didn't click with her like his brother and cousin had. One time she was listening to him play. He kept coming over to my mom and saying things about toys or books, but usually it was lost in the noise all around him. She bent down and heard him and looked at me. "He talks, but he wants you to listen." Yup! You got it. She earned it that day and it changed their relationship. Gabe was always tough to leave in nursery. The first few weeks of school in the younger were nightmares. And if doesn't trust a teacher or an adult, he will NOT interact with them. I always want people to realize that if Gabe is wanting to interact with you, you must be pretty special. When he and his Uncle Mike first connected it was over video games (naturally). Gabe realized that they could speak the same language and from that point on became Mike's buddy. I see this as a positive trait. He doesn't give himself away easily. Too many people do - I know I did all the time, desperate to find love. Gabe isn't going to be the person who has tons of ex-girlfriends. He is careful and guarded. BUT....
6. ...BUT WHEN HE DOES, HE LOVES DEEPLY AND INTENSELY
Once Gabe decides that you are worth his love and attention, you will get as much as you can take and more. He loves very deeply and intensely. I am so lucky to know what that feels like. Gabe adores me and it is such a great feeling, to know that he sees me as a safe person. I remember growing up and not having that feeling with my dad at all. We weren't safe and I couldn't just completely deflate around him and relax. So I'm glad Gabe and I have a different relationship. Sometimes this love will overwhelm a person - "love you to death...literally." His brother Josiah is often the recipient of this love. Gabe thinks Josiah is absolutely incredible and wants to spend every possible moment with him. For a sixteen year old who has never been a huge fan of physical contact, this can definitely be too much. But that intense love for his brother is a beautiful thing to watch - until it crosses to fighting. I was surprised just how hard it was for Gabe when my mom died. He STILL will start crying about her, saying he misses her. He has been this way with his friends at school and his cousin Toby. When Gabe loves someone or something, he LOVES it with all the effort he can generate. I don't like imagining my kids growing up because I don't want them to, but sometimes I think about how lucky his wife will be when that day comes. She will have someone who loves fiercely, passionately, deeply. He may not say it, but there is no doubt about it.
7. HE IS VERY FUNNY
My kids are all funny. They kind of are forced to become that just to survive in our house. I'm kind of a smart aleck (#ShockedFace) and I have encouraged them to be most light-hearted and not take themselves so seriously. Gabe has learned this lesson very well. He tells a great story - again, when he wants to. He does some good imitations and has some witty comments. One of our favorite videos of little Gabe is when he impersonates a eight year old Josiah's faces. (Josiah hates this video - but it is pretty dead on accurate.) He picked up on this thing that Donald Trump would do where he points with his hand and says, "Bing." Every so often, when someone is making a point, Gabe will just do it and say "Bing." He makes silly faces, silly voices, and silly songs. And he also is quite a fan of potty humor, much to his mom's chagrin. He is quick to laugh, which lights up his whole face. Being funny is important to our clan, and Gabe both brings humor to the table and appreciates what other people offer.
8. HE IS SMART ... AND DOESN'T LET IT DEFINE HIM
It took me until I was in my late thirties to understand how badly I had let my intelligence BE who I was. I saw myself as the smartest person in every room. If I didn't see that as the case, I would either have to tear down the other people in my head or find a way out of that situation. I banked so much of my worth on my intelligence. Gabe is smarter than me - I have no doubt of this. He has always had this look about him, where he is analyzing and sizing up the situation. He already is well on his way to be a successful litigator - at least I hope that all of the arguing he does is actually a work-study program. I mentioned how his math and computer skills are way above average. But the crazy thing is this has never been something that he uses to build his identity. It is almost like he doesn't care. It is more like, "Oh, I'm in gifted. Cool. So these are my friends, we went to recess, I built this on Minecraft." I want him to appreciate his gifts, but I don't want him to believe that is all that brings him value. I have wanted that for all of my kids. I'm glad that they have good solid brains, but I want them to use them to do worthwhile things. I want them to be defined by the impact they leave, not their IQ. Gabe, fortunately, already has more of a handle on this than I ever did.
9. HE LOVES TO CUDDLE
Sometimes we will eat dinner in the living room and watch Psych on DVD. Or we could be watching a movie, or all playing on our devices. You never need to look far to find Gabe. He is probably tucked in as close as possible to someone. It could be me or Heather ... or Josiah (more often than the rest of us). It isn't Natalie as much because she stays in her room a lot more. Gabe always wants to be right there, as close as he can. He will lean up against me and eventually I'll feel his legs worming their way under my legs until he's woven himself all up against me. He has always been a cuddler. He loves sitting with people and sharing their space. If there is a couch or loveseat with two people on it, there is enough room for Gabe in the middle. He wants to sit in the middle whenever we go to a movie or game. He wants to have someone sit near him in the car. He wants someone to sit in his bed with him at night. These desires aren't out of fear or immaturity - he just really wants to be around his people. It has not been hard to identify Gabe's love language. The nice side benefit of this is it that it has allowed me and Heather to enjoy the feeling of having a little boy longer, since he still will allow us to snuggle him and hug him. Even today at lunch at school, I didn't want to embarrass him when I was leaving, so I half hugged him and started to go. He looked up at me and said, "You can hug me dad. It's okay." So I did. Now, the dogs are not always to happy to be hugged and cuddled by Gabe's intense nature. But we like it just fine.
10. EVERYBODY LOVES GABE
Even though Gabe is slow to open up to others, other people are quick to want to be around Gabe. We've taken to mimicking Robert Barone with "Everybody loves Gabe." The kids all will play with him on the playground. The cousins all want to see what he is doing. One time at one of Natalie's performances at school, if you looked in the back of the cafetorium, you would see Gabe sitting there with his iPad, surrounded by a gaggle of kids who didn't even know him. He has a magnetism about him. People are drawn to Gabe. It makes for a strange combination. Gabe is hesitant to open up to most people, but he is quickly surrounded by people. When he does find someone, he invests deeply in them - often to the exclusion of the other people. Yes, it will be interesting to see how Gabe navigates the minefield of relationships and friendships over the years. For now, though, it is sweet to see how want to be around him. He has grown so much. Even if it is not his comfort zone, he isn't aloof with people. When I saw him at school today, once again he was surrounded by a bunch of boys from class - a new set from last year who barely know each other yet. Girls would walk by and say hi. Kids not even in his class told him happy birthday. The really neat thing (and it is something I hope he continues with as he gets older) is that Gabe doesn't seem fazed by it. He isn't strutting around like he's all that because he is smart or popular or cute or funny. He is just Gabe. The world swirls around him and he just does his own thing. Sometimes I'm envious of how comfortable he is in his own skin. But I also thank God that Gabe is made that way. He is a very special, surprising, wonderful kid. And now he is double digits. A perfect 10!
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