Finally Found Our Man

Some brief housekeeping.  

• When you leave comments, please affix your name.  I know that people like to remain anonymous and stuff.  But when the comment is personal, and no one signs it, it makes it hard to know who to beat the stuffing out of . . . uh, I mean . . . who to respond to.  This is not a requirement.  If you choose to remain anonymous, you can still respond.  I just will be meaner to  you.  :)
• To the comment-creator who told me that I would not like the end of The Appeal:  Thanks for that.  The whole time I was worried about what that meant.  In the end, I guess you were right.  I didn't like the events that transpired, I didn't like the outcome, I didn't like decision.  But, it was very realistic and true to life.  Happy endings don't always happen.  And bad guys win - a lot!  I was more disappointed with Grisham's writing.  I would say the book was thought-provoking, but one of his worst outings as far as story, characters, writing, etc.
• Just to clear up any confusion.  I am now primarily a Jacksonville Jaguars fan and secondarily a Tampa Bay Bucs fan.  That switch was made about 18 months ago.  Also, I am a UCF Knights fan.  That is it.  I like the Georgia Bulldogs, but they are not even in the same class as UCF as far as my affections.  I have no other college paraphernalia being flaunted anywhere.  

And with this post, I complete my political trifecta...

I finally decided who I think should be the President of the United States.  I am tired of all of this wussy campaigning.  Everyone goes out of their way to not insult anyone.  This will often make long segments of debates sound like speed dating.  "I think Senator Obama is a brilliant man."  "Senator Clinton is my friend."  No one wants to seem like a jerk - or be too negative (now).  So it is the Mutual Admiration Society.  And why not?   These people run in the same circles, work in the same building, and basically are just slight variations of each other.

Case in point, the whole Geraldine Ferrarro debacle.  I cannot believe that I would EVER defend that woman for anything.  But all she did was express a sentiment that was not altogether incorrect.  She may have done it in a tactless manner or at an ill-opportuned time.  But it was not complete bunk.  Even Senator Obama knows this - and uses it to his advantage.  She said that if Obama was white, he would not be in this place.  Well, can anyone really see a problem with that?  Part of his appeal is that he is NOT white.  Part of what sets him apart is his race.  He knows that and uses it.  It helps with the whole "outsider coming to fix DC" bit.  He's an outsider because he hasn't been in Washington for too long, and because he is not a "traditional" candidate.  What does that mean, if it doesn't mean race?  Is it because he smokes?  It is because he doesn't have a lot of experience?  

We have gotten so caught up in not offending people that Clinton's people turned on Ferrarro and basically forced her to quit her position in the campaign.  Two different major figures have used the word "lynch" in statements in the last six months.  Both of them turned into huge firestorms, when it was clear neither person had any racial intentions.  I understand that the imagery behind that word is a very negative one - but look at context, people.  It is amazing to me that people have gotten so uptight.

So, I believe that we need to find a candidate who is strong and self-assured.  He needs to be able to not give a rip about big business, but he also needs to have a startling lack of concern for people around him.  He needs to be able to make the tough decisions - even in the face of disaster.  He needs to be tough, unrelenting, and charismatic.  Yet, he needs to be able to fess up to his mistakes - when they are big enough to get him in trouble.

I think our next President should be Eliot Spitzer, outgoing Governor of New York.  Let's look at why:

• He Is Fearless - He rose to prominence by breaking down organized crime, big business crimes, and prostitution.  And then he goes and gets hooked up with a prostitution ring.  Absolutely brilliant.  You have to have absolutely NO FEAR to do something like that.  I mean, get involved in the same kind of people you made a career out of destroying?  Awesome.  Imagine how having no fear would play out in the Presidency.  Some foreign leader threatening you?  No biggie.  You took down Mafia before, how hard is dealing with Pakistan?  Secret treaties, backdoor bribes.  Whatever it takes.  Drop bombs all over the place and then be their friends.  The possibilities are endless.
• He is Heartless - The big meeting with him and his, uh, lady friend took place the night before Valentine's Day.  That is just cruel.  Did he then take his wife out for a romantic evening?  Did he do anything?  But, to top it off, he had his wife by his side during his speeches.  How did he pull that off?  As Mike Golic said the other day, "My wife said I would be there with a bloody eye, and she'd have bandages around her bloody hand."  This is a man who will sign a treaty with a country and then bomb them.  We need someone like this, who can look past every entanglement.  If you offend someone, so what?  You're the President! 
• He is Relentless - Eight times!  It is being reported that he used the ring eight times.  You have to like the audacity to continue to frequent the place.  That's not a one time mistake - it is just relentless arrogance.  That kind of person isn't going to worry if he keeps getting turned down by some wussy group like the UN.  North Korea not letting you search for weapons?  So what, they will.  Keep on asking.  Or bomb the snot out of them.  Eight times.
• He Knows Quality is Worth the Price - He doesn't care if things are expensive, he'll buy them anyway.  $1500 an hour for a prostitute?  That's fine.  See, THAT'S the kind of President who wouldn't balk at a price tag.  "$2 Trillion for a war?  Go for it!  $80,000 for body armor for soldiers?  Get them two sets each.  $1.5 million on a toilet seat?  Who cares?  Get it!"
  
• He Can Apologize When Absolutely Necessary - Get backed in a corner, have everyone questioning you issue a wimpy apology -- for nothing!  Notice, he never said why he was apologizing.  This is even better than the non-apology apology.  "I'm sorry for making poor choices."  That could be buying the wrong cheese.  But he's not afraid to admit mistakes, which the President has to do sometimes when everyone gets all uppity.  Bombing North Korea eight times is bound to tick people off.  "I'm sorry for making bad choices."  See, everything is all better.

THIS is the man we need in Washington.  He'll clean it up good, and then replace the old filth with at new, higher quality of trash.  He'll never let emotion rule the day.  He'll never settle for less than the best.  He'll never stop - even when common sense has long ago stopped crying out because it is a waste of time.  He'll do what needs done, regardless of who it hurts, how much it costs, or how stupid it is.  And he's not above issuing a meaningless apology to ease tensions.  THAT'S COMMITMENT!  THAT'S DEDICATION!?  THAT'S PRESIDENTIAL!!!  Now, if only he hadn't resigned.  That's going to be hard to live down.