Well, here it begins. It is the end of the year, and so it is time for all the "Year in Review" things. I am going to try to post a few of these - for the 50 of you who read this (aiming high - it IS the season of hope). So check back often while you are sitting around over the holidays and chugging egg nog. But today, I am going to post one of my famous (huh?) ponderings column. This will give you a truly frightening look into the mind of David Staples.
1. If you were to eat a Centaur or a Faun - or even a Satyr - would you be considered a cannibal? I have had this discussion with several people, and we have not come up with an answer. Mostly I get blank, frightened stares followed by the stranger on the street creeping away quietly. But I think this is an important question. If you ate one of they hybrids, would you be okay if you stayed away from the human sections? Like if you just ate Mr. Timnus' legs. I just want to be prepared in case I get lost in Narnia.
2. What do the VeggieTales eat? Vigo sticks? Miracle-gro? I know they eat chocolate, and pie, and cheese puffs, and popcorn balls - to name a few. But, technically, don't those come from vegetables? So, we're back to the cannibalism issue.
3. Why is it that as soon as I really started to get excited about the NBA and the Orlando Magic again, they started to stink again? It is like they know I'm coming and do this to irritate me. I now remember why I don't allow myself to get too interested in the Orland0 Magic. I'll always follow them, but then they will start doing really well, and that will get me really excited, so I'll start following them more, and then they'll honk it and lose. Like this year. They start the season unbelievably - with the best record in the NBA. Then they got on a losing ramapage - getting beat by ALL the cellar dwellers. It is absolutely maddening. I am getting tickets to four Magic games for Christmas - so I thoroughly to expect them to lose all of those. But they'll win all the ones in between. Because that is the history I have with the men in blue. This isn't new either - it goes back to 1992. Grrrr.
4. Did anyone really honestly think that Taylor Hicks could sell more than Chris Daughtry? Allow me to make a current comparison: Michael McDonald vs. Nickelback. Are they close? Neither will the Idol guys.
5. Why can't Hollywood make more movies like The Holiday? It was really good and really sweet. It made the actors act instead of relying on special effects and stupidity. I was really impressed. Check out the review here. It even made me adjust my Christmas movie listing.
6. Why does my fantasy football team ALWAYS decide to stink it up the last two games, ensuring me to make the playoffs and lose in the first round? I don't get it. Every stinking year.
7. Are you impressed with any of the Presidential candidates for 2008? Me neither.
8. Wow, that last one was uncharacteristically serious for me. I'll make it up to you. Are you as excited as me about the new Spring TV Season? 24 comes back. American Idol comes back. Lost, Heroes, Studio 60, Jericho all return from break. Knights of Prosperity is introduced and will be cancelled after a few episodes. I can't wait to waste my evenings in front of a tv again. Christmas is so tiring - making me talk to people instead of watching fake people.
9. Anyone out there see those BP/Wild Bean commercials? The advertising guys are trying to find a new mascot/ad icon for the Wild Bean cafe inside BP (which is a nice little place). So they go with this animated bean. And then they start showing him in his commercials. I hate that bean guy so bad. I haven't hated an advertising icon this bad since Spuds McKenzie. They should do a follow up with those same advertising guys getting fired by the chairman of BP. "Were you kiding? A talking bean? he looks like he needs to wipe his mouth. He's scary. Kids won't go in the store. ICEE sales have dropped 14%." Plus, I hate talking food as a mascot. Because if it came down to it, and I was hungry enough, I would eat the Talking Bean. And there are those ethical issues that would raise (see #1 and #2).
10. Is there better person to do an interview with out there than Bono from U2. I could watch a feature-length interview with him. Throw in the Edge and it is even better. The new show on HBO - the one where Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics interviews people - is cool. His interview with Edge and Bono was awesome. I have the entire interview by Rolling Stone with Bono on my iTunes - as well as a Dateline NBC with him and Brian Williams. At U2's Hall of Fame induction, I actually was fine with showing less music so I could hear that band talk. (Which is saying a LOT.) They are all so deep and intelligent - especially Bono and Edge. Great musicians and good speakers. They don't make many musicians like that any more. I seriously doubt that an interview with Nickelback would have the same attraction to me.
11. This one is to make up for number 7. It is almost 80 degrees outside today. It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. You can tell how pathetic Floridians are. We were looking at the 10 Day Weather Forecast and getting happy it may be 66 on Christmas. Most of the country would be wearing shorts for that kind of weather. We, naturally, will be all bundled up and trying to brave the cold.
Well, enough of that. I'll be back soon with some lists. Have a lovely day.
Showing posts with label randomness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label randomness. Show all posts
Dec 16, 2006
Sep 8, 2006
Can't Figure
There are some things that I cannot figure out. I try and I try, but I just can't do it. Here are just a few.
1. Why does Subway ration napkins like they are a 1980s Soviet bread line? Yet they have their cups just sitting there in front of the register for you to take on the honor system. Are the napkins that valuable? I can honestly say, they are the ONLY fast food place to ration napkins. I go to Taco Bell and order one taco and get 10 hot sauce packets and enough napkins to paper my living room. Maybe Subway wants to control how many people see that nutritional information they have printed on them. I have no idea. Today, my daughter's PullUp (copyright Huggies Corporation of America - - this blog is in no way endorsed by Huggies or the Huggies brands) leaked. On the floor at Subway. I asked the Coldplay wannabe behind the counter for napkins to clean said weewee up. He gave me attitude. I can understand you only wanting to give me two napkins for my sub, but not wanting to hand them out to clean up urine? Geez.
2. Why do mainstream restaurants insist on creating bizarre menu items and then act stunned when they lose business? I can understand if Emeril or Bobby Flay come up with some bizarre, off the wall recipe. That is like an artist going through their abstract phase. ("I call it Visualize Whirled Peas." "But Emeril, there are no peas in it. It's just garlic and essence." "Yes, you must visualize the peas.") But there is no excuse for TGI Fridays to start tossing around freaky menu items. They are TGI Fridays! You should visit their website. Sicilian Quesadillas? Fried Green Beans? What? Like frying a green bean is going to get anyone to order it. The people who would ordinarily order green beans as an item are not the type who want them fried. The people who need everything fried (me) still wouldn't go near them. Especially with a "cool" wasabi dip. How do you make wasabi cool? I thought its entire selling point was it would burn your tongue out.
3. Why does anyone act shocked when a track and field star tests positive for steroids? I'm at the point where I'm stunned when a record stands. Same with cycling.
4. Why did everyone think it was such a big deal when Katie Couric took over the CBS Evening News? Could there be a less relevant television move? Yes, it disrupted the morning show horizon. But, honestly, how many people watch the evening national news any more? I haven't watched it in years. That's what the internet is for, right? By the time 6:30 rolls around, I have already seen the Breaking News email alert, read the story, read the story revisions, read several commentaries on the story, and moved on.
5. Why is it that we think celebrities are such a "big deal?" Why should we care what Tom and Katie's alleged child looks like? Why should we care if Lindsay Lohan is engaged? Why should we care who Kate Hudson is dating? Why should we care if Brad ever marries Angelina? Yet there is an entire industry based on the fact we do care. I don't care that much about people who work with me, but I will check a website several times to see if the Federlines had their second kid. Well, not me, other people.
6. Why is it in cartoons now, parents are slowly being eliminated? Having two little kids, I see a TON of cartoons. And I have gotten disturbed by the number that do not have parental figures. It used to be that there were nannies or parents, but they would leave the scene and fun things would happen. But now, they don't exist. Max and Ruby are two bunnies - ages 9 and 4 maybe - who just go on their merry way without any supervision. There are adults on the show - and they have a grandmother who shows up from time to time. But they cook, go to bed, play, go shopping all by themselves. Little Einsteins is even worse. The kids there have a rocket and go all over the world and the galaxy alone. We never even see an adult in that show. You could say the same thing about Charlie and Lola, Backyardigans, Lazy Town, Clifford, and Dragon Tales. Yes, there are shows with parents (Higglytown Heroes, JoJo's Circus, Little Bear, Franklin). But more and more are just completely cutting out adults. Strawberry Shortcake is the worst. There are these kids everywhere who live completely by themselves, run heavy machinery, use the oven, go traveling. What is that teaching our kids? No really, I'm not sure. I feel hypersensitive - but there is a nagging feeling there.
Those are some of the things I can't figure out. I'm sure I'll give more later. Check back next week. I will have some thoughts on the 9/11 anniversary.
1. Why does Subway ration napkins like they are a 1980s Soviet bread line? Yet they have their cups just sitting there in front of the register for you to take on the honor system. Are the napkins that valuable? I can honestly say, they are the ONLY fast food place to ration napkins. I go to Taco Bell and order one taco and get 10 hot sauce packets and enough napkins to paper my living room. Maybe Subway wants to control how many people see that nutritional information they have printed on them. I have no idea. Today, my daughter's PullUp (copyright Huggies Corporation of America - - this blog is in no way endorsed by Huggies or the Huggies brands) leaked. On the floor at Subway. I asked the Coldplay wannabe behind the counter for napkins to clean said weewee up. He gave me attitude. I can understand you only wanting to give me two napkins for my sub, but not wanting to hand them out to clean up urine? Geez.
2. Why do mainstream restaurants insist on creating bizarre menu items and then act stunned when they lose business? I can understand if Emeril or Bobby Flay come up with some bizarre, off the wall recipe. That is like an artist going through their abstract phase. ("I call it Visualize Whirled Peas." "But Emeril, there are no peas in it. It's just garlic and essence." "Yes, you must visualize the peas.") But there is no excuse for TGI Fridays to start tossing around freaky menu items. They are TGI Fridays! You should visit their website. Sicilian Quesadillas? Fried Green Beans? What? Like frying a green bean is going to get anyone to order it. The people who would ordinarily order green beans as an item are not the type who want them fried. The people who need everything fried (me) still wouldn't go near them. Especially with a "cool" wasabi dip. How do you make wasabi cool? I thought its entire selling point was it would burn your tongue out.
3. Why does anyone act shocked when a track and field star tests positive for steroids? I'm at the point where I'm stunned when a record stands. Same with cycling.
4. Why did everyone think it was such a big deal when Katie Couric took over the CBS Evening News? Could there be a less relevant television move? Yes, it disrupted the morning show horizon. But, honestly, how many people watch the evening national news any more? I haven't watched it in years. That's what the internet is for, right? By the time 6:30 rolls around, I have already seen the Breaking News email alert, read the story, read the story revisions, read several commentaries on the story, and moved on.
5. Why is it that we think celebrities are such a "big deal?" Why should we care what Tom and Katie's alleged child looks like? Why should we care if Lindsay Lohan is engaged? Why should we care who Kate Hudson is dating? Why should we care if Brad ever marries Angelina? Yet there is an entire industry based on the fact we do care. I don't care that much about people who work with me, but I will check a website several times to see if the Federlines had their second kid. Well, not me, other people.
6. Why is it in cartoons now, parents are slowly being eliminated? Having two little kids, I see a TON of cartoons. And I have gotten disturbed by the number that do not have parental figures. It used to be that there were nannies or parents, but they would leave the scene and fun things would happen. But now, they don't exist. Max and Ruby are two bunnies - ages 9 and 4 maybe - who just go on their merry way without any supervision. There are adults on the show - and they have a grandmother who shows up from time to time. But they cook, go to bed, play, go shopping all by themselves. Little Einsteins is even worse. The kids there have a rocket and go all over the world and the galaxy alone. We never even see an adult in that show. You could say the same thing about Charlie and Lola, Backyardigans, Lazy Town, Clifford, and Dragon Tales. Yes, there are shows with parents (Higglytown Heroes, JoJo's Circus, Little Bear, Franklin). But more and more are just completely cutting out adults. Strawberry Shortcake is the worst. There are these kids everywhere who live completely by themselves, run heavy machinery, use the oven, go traveling. What is that teaching our kids? No really, I'm not sure. I feel hypersensitive - but there is a nagging feeling there.
Those are some of the things I can't figure out. I'm sure I'll give more later. Check back next week. I will have some thoughts on the 9/11 anniversary.
Aug 7, 2006
Up in the Mountains
So, we are up at Ridgecrest outside of Asheville, NC for the National Collegiate Conference. By we, I mean me and my Defender Ministries cohort Charles. We are teaching eight sessions about how to escape the bondage of porn. (Two trigger words, that should get the blog blocked by the filters.) It is going great. We've done four sessions so far and we've had a great response. I love this conference, because it is so laid back, and a good chance to see old friends from back in the day. Here are some quick hits from the first half of the conference.
1 - It is amazing how a ten hour trip in a van with a big group rapidly becomes a thirteen hour trip in a van.
2 - I hate being in a van for thirteen hours. Even though we drove the van that all the young ladies decided to ride in. Because let's face it, it is MUCH better being in a van with ten college ladies than with ten college guys. They are sweeter, kinder, quieter, and they don't pass gas - out loud. And plus, after thirteen hours, most guys smell weird.
3 - The mountains of North Carolina rule. This whole area kicks butt. (Another trigger word) If you read my last post about my affinity (read: hatred) for the heat, you should know I would prefer this. It is still hot here during the day, and you have to climb up these horrible things called "hills" and "stairs" all over the place. But at night, and in the morning, it is pleasant and foggy and you don't get carried off by mosquitos as large as a bear.
4 - When we checked in, we actually received a flyer warning us that a bear had been spotted roaming around the woods near here. Most places in Florida, that would have been on the news. Here, it only deserves a cheaply constructed flyer. Awesome.
5 - Country fried steak is nummy. I had never had it before. I know that is hard to believe by examining my physique, but it is true. Good stuff. I really think the people I was with should have thought twice before letting me eat it.
6 - Talladaga Nights was pretty funny. I'll post a review on my Movie Reviews Page later this week.
7 - Superman Returns was pretty good. I'll post a review on my Movie Reviews Page later this week.
8 - Sundrop soda is the best of all the quasi-citrus, high caffeine sodas. It is smoother than Mello Yello (which everyone up here carries) and had a better composition than Mountain Dew. AND they had a Cherry Sundrop about five years before Code Red Mountain Dew - so you have to give them props for their vision. Of course, they don't sell it down in O-Town. So I will have to make some room in my suitcase.
9 - How did we survive without cell phones? I have no clue. I don't remember my life before them. I look at the hotel phone and laugh. Yeah, right, make a call from the room. I haven't even given my hotel info to Heather b/c I have my phone, and my wireless broadband card, and a WiFi network on campus. It is like you can't get away -- hey, wait, that isn't good.
10 - How do we survive without television? We don't have one in our room. I never realized how much time I waste in front of the tv. I got so desperate the other day, I went to the workout room and did the treadmill for 30 minutes so I could watch the tube. Yes, 10 Things I Hate About You was worth the treadmill.
I'll check in again later.
1 - It is amazing how a ten hour trip in a van with a big group rapidly becomes a thirteen hour trip in a van.
2 - I hate being in a van for thirteen hours. Even though we drove the van that all the young ladies decided to ride in. Because let's face it, it is MUCH better being in a van with ten college ladies than with ten college guys. They are sweeter, kinder, quieter, and they don't pass gas - out loud. And plus, after thirteen hours, most guys smell weird.
3 - The mountains of North Carolina rule. This whole area kicks butt. (Another trigger word) If you read my last post about my affinity (read: hatred) for the heat, you should know I would prefer this. It is still hot here during the day, and you have to climb up these horrible things called "hills" and "stairs" all over the place. But at night, and in the morning, it is pleasant and foggy and you don't get carried off by mosquitos as large as a bear.
4 - When we checked in, we actually received a flyer warning us that a bear had been spotted roaming around the woods near here. Most places in Florida, that would have been on the news. Here, it only deserves a cheaply constructed flyer. Awesome.
5 - Country fried steak is nummy. I had never had it before. I know that is hard to believe by examining my physique, but it is true. Good stuff. I really think the people I was with should have thought twice before letting me eat it.
6 - Talladaga Nights was pretty funny. I'll post a review on my Movie Reviews Page later this week.
7 - Superman Returns was pretty good. I'll post a review on my Movie Reviews Page later this week.
8 - Sundrop soda is the best of all the quasi-citrus, high caffeine sodas. It is smoother than Mello Yello (which everyone up here carries) and had a better composition than Mountain Dew. AND they had a Cherry Sundrop about five years before Code Red Mountain Dew - so you have to give them props for their vision. Of course, they don't sell it down in O-Town. So I will have to make some room in my suitcase.
9 - How did we survive without cell phones? I have no clue. I don't remember my life before them. I look at the hotel phone and laugh. Yeah, right, make a call from the room. I haven't even given my hotel info to Heather b/c I have my phone, and my wireless broadband card, and a WiFi network on campus. It is like you can't get away -- hey, wait, that isn't good.
10 - How do we survive without television? We don't have one in our room. I never realized how much time I waste in front of the tv. I got so desperate the other day, I went to the workout room and did the treadmill for 30 minutes so I could watch the tube. Yes, 10 Things I Hate About You was worth the treadmill.
I'll check in again later.
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