Today is our 20th Wedding Anniversary. Twenty years is a long time. Heather and I were talking this mornings and she said something interesting. It makes sense, mathematically. But it seems like twenty years is something for older people. I completely agree. That is a big milestone, something that seemed really far away at one point. Twenty years is a long time in a person’s life. Think about all of the things that have happened in the last 20 years! That’s actually what I tried to go back and do. My memory is pretty good, but I may have erred here or there on this list. If so, don’t feel the need to correct me. As in every life, not all of these things are great - humans tend to really remember tragedy. And there are some big things that duplicated numbers or were too heavy to include that I opted to leave out. Some things just couldn’t be excluded. Like the first one.
1 Major Terrorist Attack - Way to start, David. But how can I leave out 9/11? It happened right after our first anniversary and on the day we were in the hospital to have our first child. Everyone who lived through that event knows that - like with Pearl Harbor - you can split history into pre-9/11 and post-9/11. Go back and watch any television show that spanned before and after. We recently watched Friends and kept pointing out how things changed from the beginning of the series to the end. Early on we see Rachel using Emily’s ticket to get on a plane to Greece; later on they acknowledge you can’t go to the gate without a ticket. Air travel wasn't the only change, either. Homeland Security didn’t exist. Americans just assumed the government spied on them; they didn’t know for sure.
2 Global Pandemics - TWO? Some of you are saying that because you are thinking only Covid. Others of you are saying that because I didn't take into account TB. I’m going with the ones that affected us. H1N1 hit us when we were living in Tallahassee. It was a nuisance and one of the worst flus I ever had. 40 million people in America got it. But it seems like nothing compared to coronavirus, Covid, The Rona. Nobody knows how this one is going to play out. We are over six months into it and things seem more confusing and crazy by the day. There has been more than enough documentation on how this pandemic has ruined everything. So we will move on.
3 Floods - I promise there are some nicer things coming up. I hate floods. Having been caught in most of the natural disaster possibilities going around, I would have to say floods are my least favorite. They are like the weather form of zombies. They are relentless and unstoppable and destructive. We went through the 1000 year flood in Columbia back in 2015. Then we experienced the Houston Hurricane Harvey flood in 2017. Then just as an extra bonus, Sugar Land flooded right before we moved in 2019. The scariest was Harvey. We were forced to evacuate and had to drive around, trying to avoid rising water as we looked for somewhere to stay. You know what? I’m tired of these unpleasant things.
3 Kids - I guess this should have been the option instead. Seriously, though, our kids are awesome. Josiah, Natalie, and Gabe are the best things we have to show from our twenty years. They have been through so much, but they are extraordinary people. They are generous and caring and compassionate and strong. They flood us with wonder. There, tied them together.
4 Pets - This could be argued if you consider fish as pets. I don’t. When Heather and I got married, she had her little poodle Taffy. She was the first little dog that I spent a lot of time around, having spent my life with big outside dogs. I realized that little dogs are awesome. Then we took in Heather’s brother’s cat Peaches for a while in Orlando. That cat generated more hair than any animal I’ve ever been around. It was crazy! It took over the office/spare bedroom. By “took over” I mean that it shed enough orange fur to cover every single surface an inch thick. It also drove us crazy by waking us up all the time and getting a shoe chucked at it. Good times. Now we have our awesome doggies Katie Belle and Minnie. Dogs are the best. They are little packages of God’s love right here on earth. We love them.
5 Presidential Elections - Yeaaaaaaaah. I’m not touching this one.
6 Nieces and Nephews - Growing up, I never was very close to my cousins. Heather was close to hers, but I didn’t get the allure. Now I understand. Having nieces and nephews means my kids have cousins. And that is awesome all the way around. I love my nieces and nephews. They are so cool and fun to interact with. I would do just about anything for any of them. I will protect them like they are my kids. These little boogers make up one of the best surprises I have had since getting married. I really didn’t expect to get so much joy. [Oh, this number will only work until the Fall, when it becomes 7. And if you count some other precious kids that call me Uncle David that aren’t “technically” my nieces and nephews, we are at 9. Again, this isn’t a perfect accounting.]
7 Hurricanes - Awww, back to the natural disasters. Living all of our married lives in Florida, South Carolina, and Texas, we definitely expected to experience hurricanes. Harvey was the worst and already was discussed. The other big memory with hurricanes was 2004. We got hit by Charley, Frances, and Jeanne in succession. That was a bizarre season. People hadn’t even recovered from one before the next one came slamming through. We had little kids, too, and spent several nights holed up in the hallway. Charley tore right over UCF and our house. Scary stuff. I didn’t count all of the near misses, sideswipes, tropical storms, tropical depressions, and really ugly thunderstorms. Just official direct hit hurricanes.
8 Vehicles - We have gone from a 1989 Dodge Aries to a 2020 Honda CRV and most things in between. Big black van you wouldn’t want your kids to go near? Check! Silver minivan with the font end falling off and duct taped back on? Check! Black Santa Fe that was held hostage by an auto body shop and dealership to start off 2020? Check! We have had four Hondas, two Fords, one Dodge, and one Hyundai. From micro compact to conversion van. Two black, two blue, two white, one silver, and one pearlized taupe with pink undertones.
9 Cities - While we only lived in three states, we got around quite a bit - especially in Florida. We lived in four different regions: Tampa, Jacksonville, Orlando, and Tallahassee. I say Orlando, but we lived in four different cities in that area. Ranking them, Houston and Orlando are at the top. Tallahassee and Tampa are at the bottom.
10 Olympics - On our honeymoon, we went to Vermont. While we were there, the Olympic trials for gymnastics was going on in Boston. So we made a trip to Beantown to catch the event. Thus began our shared love for the Olympics. Unbeknownst to each other, we both were Olympics junkies. My family loved watching the Olympics together from when I was a kid. Heather was a major gymnastics fan from when she was a kid. She was in Atlanta during the 1996 Olympics; I was in Sydney right before the 2000 version. From watching in person, we moved to using the Interwebs to keep up with results. We have spent significant time watching every single winter and summer Olympic Games since the 2000 Summer ones. Well, until Covid.
11 Addresses - I barely moved as a kid. Heather relocated a couple of times. Our kids have moved so much that they sound like military children. We never lived in the same house for more than three years until we returned to Columbia last year and moved back into our house there. We have been in three tiny apartments alongside college students. We have rented a lot of houses. And we have owned one home. We like to keep the people following us on their toes.
12 Churches - This one is a little bittersweet. For most of the first half of our marriage, we were at just a few churches. We moved places and found a new church - often the one where I was working. All of that moving and switching churches got to be quite difficult. It isn't easy having to pull up stakes and land in a new town without a built in community. We visit around, trying to find places that have ministries for our kids and theology we agree with. By the time we land someone and get comfortable, we are moving again. Some cities were harder than others; we never really landed anywhere long term. The twelve I counted were the ones we felt like we could say we “went there.” We've probably visited twice this many. A couple made huge impacts on our lives and helped us to make it through the more desolate locations. Summit Church in Orlando and RPC Missouri City really helped form us into the people we are in the short time we were there.
13 Museums - Yes. We are quite cultured.
14 Years as Band / Orchestra Parents - Josiah started trombone in sixth grade and continued until he graduated. Natalie picked up the violin in fifth grade and has kept it up. Gabe latched onto the French Horn last year. We have been to more football games, competitions, concerts, practices, lessons, booster meetings than I can count. Music is a wonderful thing, and I'm glad our kids got to experience it. This doesn't count Heather’s years in church orchestra, by the way.
15 iPhone Iterations - When I think of the biggest innovations of the last twenty years, the iPhone has to be at the top of the list. Shoot, I'm typing this on my iPhone. Heather is watching videos on hers as I type. We have really loved our iPhones - from the 3GS to the 11 Pro Max. The iPhone revolutionized how people function. Plus I'm an Apple freak. There have been fifteen different series of this product - not counting models within a series. We have upgraded here and there, but never considered switching. Kind of random thing, but it wasn't easy finding things for the higher numbers in this list.
16 Weddings Attended - Ahhh weddings. We have been to them for our siblings, friends, coworkers, students, cousins, and even an uncle. I've officiated a few of the ceremonies. We've been in a few of them. I have stood holding a fussy baby in the lobby during some of them. We have been at them in homes, at churches, outdoors, in barns. Weddings always make me think of our wedding, which was beautiful and so stressful. I also am so happy for the couple, thinking of the great experiences they will have. Plus there is usually cake.
17 Jobs - Lots of jobs at churches for me. Lots of jobs in medicine for Heather. Then you get to toss in the strange ones like “furniture salesman,” “newspaper layout guy,” “cake decorator,” and “Apple store dude.” The longest job tenure has been the eight years I've been at Kaplan. The shortest was Heather’s job in a lab where she found out she was pregnant right after she got hired and had to quit for safety reasons. Of course, more changes are coming as I start law school. Lots and lots of changes on this front.
18 Schools - Man oh man. Six colleges. Two preschools. Elementary, middle, and high schools all over the place. Our kids have been Explorers, Warriors, Vikings, Rangers, Bobcats, Stars, Rockets, Sailors, Comets, and Gamecocks. We have gone to A+ schools and had horrible experiences; we have been at C schools and had great experiences. It is shocking to see how differently the school experiences have been as we have traversed the country. There have been places where parental involvement is begged for and places where parents are discouraged from coming. I've seen my kids struggle and overcome the challenges. Now one of our kids is about to start the new adventure of college, maybe at the same school where I will be starting next year. Crazy.
19 States Visited (together) - With my former gig of speaking around the country, I've been at multiple states without Heather. Like Arkansas! Her medical conferences have dragged her to states without me. Like Arizona! And we have both been to Nevada, but at different times. Together we have been all over the country. California to New Hampshire to Florida to Texas. Even the wasteland of Louisiana. We love traveling and love visiting new places together. Now that the kids are older and we aren't broke, if Covid would shove off, I expect us to expand on this before too long.
20 Christmases, Thanksgivings, Valentine’s Days, Holidays - Twenty years brings with it a huge collection of special occasions, complete with countless memories. We have had snow on Christmas a couple of times. We've spent the Fourth of July at the beach. We have spent holidays with just our family and with almost fifty people. Special presents. Touching cards. Joy and love. Pain and tears. Christmas with a newborn. Birthdays with Heather on call. We have experienced the gamut over the last two decades. We both lost grandparents. Heather lost an aunt. I lost my mom and brother. We have had little and plenty. There has been fear from disaster and attack. There had been rapture from childbirth and graduation. And there has been Covid. I cannot imagine anyone that I would want to have done this journey with.
Heather is the most wonderful person I know. She is brilliant and sweet. She brings light everywhere she goes. She is committed and dedicated. She is long suffering and merciful. She is loving and kind. She is the best thing in my world. I can honestly say I love her more now than I ever have. Even thought our twentieth anniversary didn't go the way we thought, it seemed oddly appropriate in light of the journey we have been on together. Whatever is next on the roster of 2020 horrors, we will be able to deal with it together.
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