Oct 18, 2010

Calling College Football Fans: Get on Board!

The first BCS rankings came out on Sunday night.  As expected, they are stupid.  This is normal, though.  In fact, it would be disappointing if they were anything else.  It is something we have come to rely on: the sun rises and sets, the seasons pass, the BCS is stupid.  It is one of the worst ideas EVER in sports.  I'm serious.  If you were to rank the dumbest sports ideas, what would you rank?  I don't know the exact order, but they would have to include the following, right?
  • Drafting Ryan Leaf #2
  • LeBron's "The Decision"
  • Michael Jordan playing Baseball
  • The Detroit Lions
  • Brian Bosworth
It is undeniably disappointing. And the thing is, there really is no one to defend it except the executives in charge of it and the college presidents.  Everyone else wishes it would crawl into a hole and die.  Fans, players, coaches, announcers, sports "experts," the President of the United States, Joe the Hobo.  Everyone hates it.  I think that what makes it even more atrocious is that it is the handiwork of the NCAA - the same people who have the BEST postseason process.  Of course, I'm talking about the NCAA basketball tournament.  March Madness.  The upsets.  The pageantry.  The brackets.  Even people who don't give a rip roaring rocket about sports follow March Madness.  So, with football - the cash cow and biggest sport in the land - the NCAA relies on some convoluted system of math formulas and makes sure the best teams are NOT playing.

How hard would it be to make a tournament for football?  It wouldn't.  Take the top eight teams and have them play in the Cotton, Citrus, Fiesta, and Peach Bowls.  Then the next round, have the winners play in the Sugar and Orange.  Then the championship is in the Rose Bowl.  No conference guarantees.  If that won't fly, then expand it to a sixteen team field.  Give the ACC, Pac10, Big10, Big12, Big East, and SEC their spots and then take the next 10 highest ranked teams.  (I think if your conference champion isn't in the top 16, you shouldn't get a seat at the table.  But I'm willing to compromise.)  Have the first eight games take place in the Outback, Holiday, Aloha, Humanitarian, Liberty, Tangerine, Gator, and Motor City Bowls - to spread it around the country.  The other bowls can still be played with the teams left out of the tournament.  (Bonus Result - no more 6-5 or 6-6 teams getting to the postseason.)  How hard is this?  It isn't.  It makes perfect sense.  Like I said, no one is defending the BCS process.  You hate it.  I hate it.  That is why there is one things that must be done, and I need your help.  For this one year, put aside your team allegiances and root for the matchup that MUST happen.

Boise State vs TCU for the National Title.

I know what you're thinking, and you're right.  But, let's face it.  Your team is probably either A) already out of the running, B) not a part of a big conference so it never had a chance, or C) going to lose or get screwed by the BCS.  Auburn Fan - I know you are hoping this year will be your year.  But you don't realize there is actually a formula in the BCS that guarantees you will NEVER WIN.  This is the best year.  USC is on probation.  Texas sucks.  So does Florida.  Ohio State and Alabama were kind enough to already choke.  The ACC is horrible this year.  The SEC can't play defense.  So, let's bind together and root for the Broncos and Horned Frogs to square off in Glendale, Arizona.

It HAS TO happen.  You're right.  They are NOT the best two teams in the country.  In the SEC, TCU would go 6-6.  In the PAC-10, Boise State would end up 8-4.  But that just goes to show how stupid the BCS is.  Two teams like that should NEVER be in the title game.  But, the BCS itself can guarantee that.  Here's the deal.  There are lots of protections build into the BCS to assure that only the major conferences will ever have a chance at BCS happiness.  If you are in a smaller conference, you have to finish in the Top 12 to be considered.  You have to finish in the Top 6 to be guaranteed a spot - unless there are two non-BCS teams in the Top 6.  Then the second one can go fly a kite.

BUT, there is a way.  It is in the BCS contract that the title MUST BE the teams ranked one and two.  There is no way around the rule.  So, if Boise State is #1 and TCU is #2, there is no way around it.  They are the title game participants.  This would be a-MAY-zing!  The game would have the lowest ratings for a title game since BYU clinched the top spot with their sterling win the Holiday Bowl.  It would be a disaster.  The game would sell out because it is being played out west.  TCU and BSU have fan bases that travel.  So the stadium would be full.  But the rest of America will be watching Castle and Dancing With The Stars.

I know that we all think this can't happen.  The first poll showed us that the BCS will do whatever it takes to keep it from occurring - even leapfrogging Oklahoma over everyone because they have the easiest remaining schedule and may be able to hang onto the top spot.  I mean, if it comes down to it, some junior exec for the BCS will charge the field and shoot a player mid-play ala The Last Boy Scout.  But they can't fight their own rules.  If the season ends with BSU and TCU 1-2, they are the title game.  YES!!!

So, here's what you need to do.  Don't just blindly root for your team.  Look at the games remaining and pour all your couch potato karma into the games that will guarantee our disaster.  Here is a handy guide of the games remaining that could affect this.  I only listed realistically losable games - no mega-upsets.  We just need to clear out the unbeaten teams and keep BSU and TCU undefeated.  Cheer for the team in capital letters.  Rain down haterade on the other team.  And root for the Broncos and Frogs every week.  We need everyone to get together to make this happen.

  • WEEK EIGHT: UCLA over Oregon, MISSOURI over Oklahoma, LSU over Auburn (you'll see why later)
  • WEEK NINE: IOWA over Michigan State, USC over Oregon, NEBRASKA over Missouri
  • WEEK TEN: ALABAMA over LSU (that's why we chose LSU earlier), TCU over an undefeated Utah (to bolster TCU's rep)
  • WEEK ELEVEN: We should have all the major undefeated teams gone by this point, but to be safe, we'll root against some of the biggest one loss teams also.  And we'll still target the unbeatens just in case some got through the net.  GEORGIA over Auburn (stop laughing, it could happen), MISSISSIPPI STATE over Alabama, KANSAS STATE over Missouri
  • WEEK TWELVE: IOWA over Ohio State, MICHIGAN over Wisconsin
  • WEEK THIRTEEN: In Auburn/Alabama, cheer against the higher ranked team, ARIZONA over Oregon, OKLAHOMA STATE over Oklahoma
  • WEEK FOUTEEN: OREGON STATE over Oregon.  This is the conference championship week, and our last chance to bring down any troublemakers.  Pay attention and root against those teams that could block, leapfrog, or hurt BSU and TCU.  
It is a lot to ask, I know.  But take one for the team.  Rise up and band together.  It is our time.  Let's push our collective sports loving strength into what must be done.  Think of the joy you will experience knowing that the BCS has been dealt a death blow!  YES WE CAN!  It's going to happen; get on board.  Let's root the Boise State Broncos and TCU Horned Frogs into the title game.  

And then go watch something else that day.

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