Well, here it begins. It is the end of the year, and so it is time for all the "Year in Review" things. I am going to try to post a few of these - for the 50 of you who read this (aiming high - it IS the season of hope). So check back often while you are sitting around over the holidays and chugging egg nog. But today, I am going to post one of my famous (huh?) ponderings column. This will give you a truly frightening look into the mind of David Staples.
1. If you were to eat a Centaur or a Faun - or even a Satyr - would you be considered a cannibal? I have had this discussion with several people, and we have not come up with an answer. Mostly I get blank, frightened stares followed by the stranger on the street creeping away quietly. But I think this is an important question. If you ate one of they hybrids, would you be okay if you stayed away from the human sections? Like if you just ate Mr. Timnus' legs. I just want to be prepared in case I get lost in Narnia.
2. What do the VeggieTales eat? Vigo sticks? Miracle-gro? I know they eat chocolate, and pie, and cheese puffs, and popcorn balls - to name a few. But, technically, don't those come from vegetables? So, we're back to the cannibalism issue.
3. Why is it that as soon as I really started to get excited about the NBA and the Orlando Magic again, they started to stink again? It is like they know I'm coming and do this to irritate me. I now remember why I don't allow myself to get too interested in the Orland0 Magic. I'll always follow them, but then they will start doing really well, and that will get me really excited, so I'll start following them more, and then they'll honk it and lose. Like this year. They start the season unbelievably - with the best record in the NBA. Then they got on a losing ramapage - getting beat by ALL the cellar dwellers. It is absolutely maddening. I am getting tickets to four Magic games for Christmas - so I thoroughly to expect them to lose all of those. But they'll win all the ones in between. Because that is the history I have with the men in blue. This isn't new either - it goes back to 1992. Grrrr.
4. Did anyone really honestly think that Taylor Hicks could sell more than Chris Daughtry? Allow me to make a current comparison: Michael McDonald vs. Nickelback. Are they close? Neither will the Idol guys.
5. Why can't Hollywood make more movies like The Holiday? It was really good and really sweet. It made the actors act instead of relying on special effects and stupidity. I was really impressed. Check out the review here. It even made me adjust my Christmas movie listing.
6. Why does my fantasy football team ALWAYS decide to stink it up the last two games, ensuring me to make the playoffs and lose in the first round? I don't get it. Every stinking year.
7. Are you impressed with any of the Presidential candidates for 2008? Me neither.
8. Wow, that last one was uncharacteristically serious for me. I'll make it up to you. Are you as excited as me about the new Spring TV Season? 24 comes back. American Idol comes back. Lost, Heroes, Studio 60, Jericho all return from break. Knights of Prosperity is introduced and will be cancelled after a few episodes. I can't wait to waste my evenings in front of a tv again. Christmas is so tiring - making me talk to people instead of watching fake people.
9. Anyone out there see those BP/Wild Bean commercials? The advertising guys are trying to find a new mascot/ad icon for the Wild Bean cafe inside BP (which is a nice little place). So they go with this animated bean. And then they start showing him in his commercials. I hate that bean guy so bad. I haven't hated an advertising icon this bad since Spuds McKenzie. They should do a follow up with those same advertising guys getting fired by the chairman of BP. "Were you kiding? A talking bean? he looks like he needs to wipe his mouth. He's scary. Kids won't go in the store. ICEE sales have dropped 14%." Plus, I hate talking food as a mascot. Because if it came down to it, and I was hungry enough, I would eat the Talking Bean. And there are those ethical issues that would raise (see #1 and #2).
10. Is there better person to do an interview with out there than Bono from U2. I could watch a feature-length interview with him. Throw in the Edge and it is even better. The new show on HBO - the one where Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics interviews people - is cool. His interview with Edge and Bono was awesome. I have the entire interview by Rolling Stone with Bono on my iTunes - as well as a Dateline NBC with him and Brian Williams. At U2's Hall of Fame induction, I actually was fine with showing less music so I could hear that band talk. (Which is saying a LOT.) They are all so deep and intelligent - especially Bono and Edge. Great musicians and good speakers. They don't make many musicians like that any more. I seriously doubt that an interview with Nickelback would have the same attraction to me.
11. This one is to make up for number 7. It is almost 80 degrees outside today. It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. You can tell how pathetic Floridians are. We were looking at the 10 Day Weather Forecast and getting happy it may be 66 on Christmas. Most of the country would be wearing shorts for that kind of weather. We, naturally, will be all bundled up and trying to brave the cold.
Well, enough of that. I'll be back soon with some lists. Have a lovely day.