Wake Up Call

You know those moments that just stop you in your tracks?  The ones that change your mood for days?  I had one of those last night.  Heather and I were watching So You Think You Can Dance and enjoying it immensely.  (That show is better than American Idol - and I am not anywhere close to a dance fan.)  Anyway, Heather was on Facebook online.  She turns to me and says, "Did someone die at First Baptist today?"  Strange question.  "Uh, what?"  She explained that several people on our friend lists had something in their status about losing a friend and mourning for someone.  We pieced it all together and it looked like a woman named Staci Smith had passed away.

I called someone to check and they verified the news.  When you hear something like that, it is like the air is sucked out of the room.  You just sit there and try to figure out what happened.  Staci was a wonderful person.  She served as the youth secretary for a while, and I worked with her on a couple of events with Defender.  Her sister and I worked together for a while at the church - she was the Education Secretary.  Both of them were in the choir and sang solos.  Staci was beautiful and funny (often at her own expense) - and she battle many of the same demons I do.  She always poked fun of herself and felt bad about her weight - something I do as well.  I really enjoyed talking with her.  And Heather thought she was great.  We never spent a ton of time with her, but the time we spent was more than enough to convince us she was great.

And she was gone - just like that.

Forty-three year old women don't just die.  Their husbands don't come home from work and find them.  Their teenagers don't have to learn how to mourn so fast.  Their daughters shouldn't have to deal with that on their high school graduation day!  That isn't supposed to happen.  Death is supposed to be reserved for people who have lived their lives.  That's what we tell ourselves.  It is a coping mechanism to help us deal with the terrifying concept of death.  When death dare encroach on our comfort zone - when it claims a child or a young person or a mom, that just isn't right.  It throws our entire life into chaos.  We don't like the thought that death is no respecter of person or age or gender.  

Staci's death was a huge shock to everyone.  I was up at First Baptist today for about an hour working on something and everyone was moving a bit slower.  It was like there was a huge cloud over the whole place.  The tragedy was never far from anyone's mind.  And everyone was just trying to figure it all out.  To a person, everyone talked about what a sweet and wonderful person she was, how hard it was to picture her kids dealing with this, how badly her sister Darlene was hurting.  We have no idea how to deal with stuff like this.  It makes you mad - but who are you mad at?  It makes you cry - but what about?  The ones who left or the ones who were left?  

These are the moments I hate as a minister.  I don't have any better understanding of this than anyone else.  I can offer up the reassurance that God has mastered and beaten death.  I can say that at least we know she is in Jesus' presence.  But, seriously, does that help much?  It will help in the healing process.  But today, we all want to know why and how and can it happen to us.  Most of all, we just hurt and want that to stop.  Maybe it is good to have to think about this once in a while - not in a morbid way.  It makes you a little less frivolous with your time.  It makes you be a little more careful to not take your precious ones for granted.  And it makes you a little more aware of people around you - less self-absorbed.  I know that it did all of that for me today.  

And if you think of it, please offer a prayer for Staci's family.  If she was that special to the people around her, I can imagine how hard it is for those closest to her.  

Vessel

There are several verses in the Bible that talk about us being vessels.  God is likened to the Potter.  We are called jars of clay.  The thing about being a vessel is that it is pretty much useless unless it is full.  Think about it.  You could have a huge collection of mugs on the wall.  What are they doing?  They are serving as decoration, but they also are not fulfilling their purpose.  They are just sitting there - collecting dust and looking nice.  But that's not what a vessel is for.

I was thinking about this because I have had the image of a vessel pop up quite frequently lately.  Chris Sligh (of American Idol notoriety) put out a Christian album a couple weeks ago.  It was amazing (more on that at another time).  Well, two of his songs deal with being a vessel.  One is called "Vessel" and one is called "Empty Me."  You may have heard the second one in heavy rotation on a Christian radio station.  It is a fabulous song about how we get in our own way and need to be emptied so we can be filled with Christ.  And the first song is about, um, being a vessel.  Pretty straightforward song.

Heather and I were talking about vessels the other day too.  And she made the brilliant comment that we have all different kinds of vessels in the Body of Christ, but they all serve the same purpose.  They all are supposed to be filled with Him and bringing His presence and glory to the world around them.  (Yes, be envious of my brilliant wife.)  It got me thinking about that.

I really believe that each of us could be likened to a vessel.  I did this activity the other day and thought about the different people I knew and what kind of vessels they would be.

• I worked with a woman at my last church who became a very dear friend.  Cheryl was the first person I thought of in this.  I would call her a ornate alabaster wine glass - I mean, uh, sparkling apple cider glass.  She is just a beautiful lady, very fashionable, very together.  But even though it was a gorgeous vessel, it was also very delicate - something I realized when she got smashed by a very rude and angry person.  When she is filled with Christ it presents a beautiful display of grace and glory.
• Tony Evans would be a shot glass.  (Keep in mind that I'm not saying these people use these vessels - more linking to the purpose of that particular vessel.)  He's one of those people that bring you the fiery conviction of God in a fast jolt.
• I know several people who I would liken to a paper cup - like at a marathon or a water cooler.  This is not to imply they are wimpy or anything.  But think about how happy a runner is to see that water table.  They bring refreshment to people whenever they need it.  Whenever you see them you leave feeling better.
• My father-in-law is a large basin.  There is a stillness to a vessel like that.  And you come to it and find healing and renewal.  And it never seems to empty.  It is always willing to be used without complaint.  It continues to be faithful even when it gets stepped on - not out of weakness, but out of obedience to God.
• That's just a sample - and don't come asking me to tell you what kind of vessel you are.  I haven't thought it out that far.  :)

I am a big mug - like a stein or a cappuccino mug.  The reason that I think that is that I am a storyteller.  (No sarcastic comments)  I believe this is a role that has existed throughout history - the person who tells the story and keeps memories alive.  I come from a father AND a mother who were both storytellers.  I have said that if my dad was a preacher or teacher, he would have been one of the most popular ever.  He could weave a tale like few others.  I got it from both sides.  And that is where I see my usefulness.  If I am doing what I should be doing, I get filled with God and invite you to sit with me and draw in deep the story of His goodness, love, and grace.  That is why I think I'm a mug.  Imagine sitting in a ski lodge or a huge medieval hall and listening to stories.  I would be the thing holding your warm mead --- which of course was really just ancient Mountain Dew.

The thing is, just like everyone else, if I am not letting God fill me I am just a big clunky useless cup.  I become unwieldy, heavy, space wasting.  I am only good to weigh things down and bludgeon people.  I have been that before in my life - both the damaging and the positive elements.  Trust me, I would much rather be filled and useful.  I want to be filled - let's sit and discuss how good God is, rejoice in His awesomeness, and drink in His glory.  I'll drink to that.  (Pepsi.  That's what I meant - Pepsi.)

Timing is Everything

There are a ton of cliches out there. But this one is proving itself to be very true. Timing, truly is everything. The longer I live, the more I realize that it is not so much WHAT happens and WHEN it happens. You can find examples all over the place.

• David Tyree doesn't somehow catch that ball on his helmet in the Super Bowl last year on the game winning drive and he's just another roster cut victim this summer instead of a hero. The Patriots go 19-0. The 1972 Dolphins have to get real jobs.
• Barack Obama decides to run for Senate in 2010 instead of 2004 and he doesn't get invited to be the keynote speaker at the Democratic Convention in 2004. He doesn't get a ton of national exposure. Clooney doesn't endorse him.  Oprah doesn't endorse him.  He doesn't win the nomination. Hillary wins going away over Edwards.
• I don't lean back into the van to put something on the seat when getting ready to fuel up, I get out well before my door mysteriously swings closed and my thumb doesn't get crushed in the door. Timing. If I lived my entire life two seconds behind what I did, and I go from being a Klutz Supreme to being a Close Call Artist.

Anyway. Timing is Everything. I applied for a job teaching at a private school in the area. I had my first interview. I had tons of recommendations. Everything looked great. Another application turned in her stuff right before the deadline. She had 15 years of experience. She's now the new Department Head and I'm still looking for a job. Timing.

This becomes a very difficult concept for us to deal with. We live in a time-constrained world. Everything is about time with us. We constantly have a clock running on us. We only have so many hours between when we wake up and go to bed to get our stuff done. And the more stuff that gets dumped on us, the harder it is to feel like we succeeded. So we are constantly stressed and worried, hoping that time works in our favor.

I think that the whole time issue is the worst when we are waiting for something. I can be working or surfing on the internet and time will just roll on. I won't sit there and be conscious of the time ticking away. But if I am in a doctor office, you better believe I know how long I was waiting. My cell phone decided to flip out this week. So I spent about six hours dealing with repair people, sales people, untrained store employees to get it fixed - and then to resync everything once I got a replacement. I knew how much time it wasted.

As anyone who reads this blog or knows me is aware of, I have been waiting and praying for my ministry to take off like I want and need it to. And I am keenly aware of how long it has been. And I wrestle between having faith that things will work out and being miserable at another day going by without an answer. I know you all can relate - it could be waiting on a baby, a job, a spouse, a salvation. Things that are important can take forever. And we hate waiting.

The big thing to remember is that God is not limited by time. He lives outside of our time constraints. He sees the long term approach. The individual blips and bumps don't affect Him. In addition, He sees the ending. So He has a totally different perspective. He knows that there are times He needs to make us wait because the timing is not right. We think it is because we think we are ready - but there is something that is not ready yet. It could be someone else that we are going to interact with is not ready yet. So we sit there frustrated at the wait, and God sits there telling us to be patient and wait because it isn't time yet.

Those of us with kids can understand. Ever tell a kid to wait on dinner when they are hungry? How did that go? My kids will come and tell us that they are "starving." Dinner will be in the oven and not ready yet. But they want it NOW because they are hungry. "I'M HUNGRY! WAAAA!" We know that if we give them that chicken that they will probably get sick and die because it is not fully cooked. But they would go grab it and cram it in their mouths if we didn't stop them. I know this principle, but I forget it all the time when I am in the midst of waiting. I almost have to repeat the mantra: "It isn't time. It isn't time." I just hope that I can learn to wait until the time is right.

On a side note -- I have been thinking about this blog and my writing a lot lately. I am in the process of writing a new book for Defender. Some days I feel like I have so many things swirling around in my head that I have trouble focusing for my work. Today it hit me that just like many things, I need to warm up for my day. That is why I am going to try to write each morning on the blog as my preparation for the day. We'll see how that goes.

I Guess Cheaters Do Win

It's been hard to keep up with the blog lately.  Lots has been going on round our parts of the woods.  Heather had her MCAT and got her scores (30! - ROCK ON).  She's been filling out Med School Applications.  I've started writing a new curriculum series for Defender Ministries.  And the kids' school year is over this week.  In addition, we had Gabe's Dedication last week.  So, things have been busy.  

I tried to at least add some content last week with the Summer Movie Calendar and Reviews on the right side.  Hopefully you picked up on that and are enjoying them for all they are worth - about $1.37 with inflation.  I've wanted to do several posts, but just haven't been able to motivate myself.  It is the typical "no one cares about this post anyway" cycle I think all bloggers ultimately find themselves in.  It hasn't helped that I have tried to apply to a couple of writing gigs and got turned down for being "too blog-like" in style.  Kind of comes across as an insult.  

Anyway, I decided to post something today because I read a great article by Gregg Easterbrook on ESPN today about the New England Patriots.  Here's the link if you want to read it too.  He argues that the only way the whole issue about their cheating will go away is if Coach Bellichick is suspended.  He argues for a lifetime ban, but figures a year would do it.  I have waffled on this issue for months.  Part of me wanted to see New England go undefeated last year, just so the Dolphins of 1972 would have to get real jobs and stop milking that 17-0 forever.  Instead, they just missed.  And the whole "Spygate" thing broke, which made it really hard for a casual fan of the team to support them.

It was one of those situations where I got caught up in the streak and started to want to see something really special happen.  But, as I've thought about it, I realize that I was wrong.  Now, I know that it isn't a really big deal who I root for in the NFL.  But on another level, that's not right.  Easterbrook argues that this issue isn't as big of a deal as baseball's steroids - another issue I've been guilty of largely ignoring.  I would disagree with him.  I think both of these issues are of equal importance.  I have a six year old boy, and a seven-and-a-half month old boy.  Both of them are some day going to want to know more about sports.  And what are they going to learn by hearing about these issues?  They are going to learn that it is okay to cut corners, cheat, bend the rules.  They are going to learn that you don't have to do things right as long as you win.  The most creative cheater wins.

Last week, I heard two different radio hosts talking about cheating.  One was Colin Cowherd; one was Mike Greenberg.  Both of them argued that they didn't care that a type of cheating was going on.  I was shocked.  Cowherd's opinion didn't surprise me, because he's borderline anarchic with his approach to life.  He thinks rules and guidelines and establishments are there to be mocked - as evidenced by the train wreck of his personal life.  So his argument that baseball has been destroyed because they GOT RID OF STEROIDS is kind of useless.  But Greenberg, if anything, is a sanctimonious snoot.  And he was arguing that he didn't think that corporations and agents paying high school basketball players were a "victimless crime" and "no big deal."  (His co-host Mike Golic could not have agreed less as a former athlete.)

Cheating is cheating.  Breaking the rules is wrong.  It is no wonder the corporate execs at Enron and such felt they could lie and steal.  Why are we shocked when the government flat out lies to us about things?  It is what most people want.  They just want problems to go away.  The NFL just wants this issue to stop.  The commissioner has basically said he isn't doing anything else.  And so the cheaters prosper and the few who do right get run over.  And my kids get to see this played out every day in every industry.  

This doesn't disappear in the church world.  I know of a church where there was overwhelming evidence that the pastor lied, deceived, manipulated, bullied, and worse to get his interests met - with severe damage to the church and its staff.  As this information came out, and was corroborated time and again, the people who could do anything repeatedly just wanted it all to "go away."  To date, nearly twelve months later, they have done virtually nothing to stop the wrongdoing.  This is how most people live their lives.  Maybe the committees at the church don't want to do anything because they do the same things in their own businesses.  I know for a fact that is true about some of those leaders because I witnessed it.  It is a pathetic commentary on our world that this kind of "corner cutting" gets a blind eye turned to it.

I have made my decision, though. I am going to approach this differently from now on.  I am going to explain to my boys that the New England Patriots are run by a cheater - who has lied and lied and lied over the years.  And that the team is guilty because they have done nothing to stop it - and let him run things how he sees fit.  I am going to actively root against them at every game that I can.  I am also going to explain to my boys that a bunch of baseball players are cheaters who jam needles into their bodies to get around rules.  And I am going to root against those players as well.  And that probably means that whatever interest I had in baseball will die.  I have been a Yankees fan since a small child.  But that team is another one that condones cheating - how many players were named in the Mitchell Report from the Yankees?  TWENTY!  And the main source for much info was a Yankees staff member.  So I will rescind my allegiance to the Yankees due to their cheating.  I won't replace them.  

What I find very disturbing is that writers like Bill Simmons (who more and more just irritates me with his disgusting views on life) and Peter King continually slam the Yankees for their cheating, but defend the Patriots with theirs.  Oh wait, they are Boston fans and Patriot fans.  Maybe that explains it.  I think that if you are going to run your mouth about integrity of the game, as a fan you have to back it up.  So I will.  My boys need to see me do that.  I can't back a team like that because it makes my words empty.  I want my boys to know that integrity does mean  something.  And I want them to see me act that out.  I know in the grand scheme of things it won't matter one bit that I no longer root for the Yankees.  But it will matter to my family.  I won't let athletes and coaches undermine the lessons I am trying to teach my kids.  They are too important.

Summer's Here! Let's Blow Stuff Up

And with the clanging of metal, the whiz of bullets, and deafening explosion after deafening explosion, the Summer Movie Season has opened. No more having to deal with schmaltzy dramas. No more passing our days feasting on a less than appetizing table of films high on useless fillers like "plot" and "character development" and "Oscar buzz." It has been a long wait since the antics of Jason Bourne graced the screen last August. And explosions have been few and far between. And we all know that is what movies are all about - blowing stuff up.

Seriously, with the arrival of Iron Man, the summer movie experience has begun. Sure, not every movie during the summer will satisfy everyone. And there are sure to be a few clunkers along the way. But this is Hollywood's finest hour. This is when no expense is spared. Huge flowing gowns waistcoats are left in the closet in favor of body armor and metal suits. The screenwriter is nowhere near as important as the special effects supervisor. Things have changed over the years, and these films have far more credibility than before. The four main actors in Iron Man have seven Oscar nominations between them. Edward "Serious Actor Man" Norton plays the Hulk. And Batman sports numerous Oscar-friendly stars.

But, no one can argue that the main point of summer movie season is to entertain. Sure, other movie seasons can be entertaining, but not like summer. There are very few mentions of Oscar buzz these months. Which is honestly one reason the Oscars have gotten so irrelevant. People as a whole love the summer movies. Critics love the "serious movies." If I had any doubts about this, they were answered when I saw Iron Man last night -- late last night. Through my stupidity, I had to go to a theater I usually avoid (ordered my ticket online from the wrong place and missed seeing it with friends). I was at a theater stuffed fulled of loud, obnoxious people. They were talking and joking and screaming.

It was awesome. I think the crowd can change the whole experience of a movie. Sure, I missed a couple lines due to the hooting. And the argument/discussion that the four people had right behind me during the entire movie was a bit distracting. And sitting in the front row was a bit irritating. But it was fun to hear them cheer and scream at every exciting part. And then all the annoying people left and half the theater stayed for the scene after the credits. Talk about yelling in excitement! That was incredible. But during the previews, the crowd whooped and roared in laughter at the latest Adam Sandler and Mike Myers films. This is why these movies get made - these people. A couple hundred people crammed in a theater - every showing sold out. Sure critics can't stand Sandler and Myers - and they try to convince everyone else not to like them either. And the movie blog snarks are in the same boat - relentlessly ripping their films. But those movies are going to pack out theaters just like every other film those guys made did. And the divide between critical favorite and popular will continue to grow.

As for Iron Man, look on my movie review page (link to right) later this weekend for my full take on it. The short of it - I loved it. It was fun and exciting. There was a surprising amount of time spent on setting up the story - but in many ways, those parts were more fun than the fighting stuff. Robert Downey Jr was perfect casting in the main role. In fact, all the casting was great - as well as the direction and effects. And it was full of explosions.